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Wednesday, December 4, 2013

For the Love of Gifts! Use Yours!

Throughout my first semester of Bible school I have been studying spiritual gifts a lot. And today I realized something I never had before. 1st Corinthians 13 is about spiritual gifts. Like WHAT?! I thought it was just saying that if you don't have love in your life then you really have nothing... but nope it is a lot more than that! First lets look at some of what spiritual gifts are and why you have them.

So basically God gives believers spiritual gifts in order for us to go out and to love others. They are given so we can better fulfill the great commission to go out and make disciples in all nations. Everyone who believes is given a spiritual gift and some are given many gifts but few know what their gift is and even less use their gift to its fullest potential. This to me is not exactly a great thing. We are given these gifts not to keep to our selves but to bless others with. And THAT is where 1st Corinthians 13 comes in. I encourage you to pull out your Bible or go onto and read over 1st Corinthians 13. As you read it, look at what it is really talking about. Take for example verse 1. If I speak in the TONGUES of man or of angels. Oh! Tongues! That's one of the spiritual gifts! Wait... what does verse 2 say? Prophesy and faith... hmm those are also spiritual gifts! Verse 3? The gift of giving. Yep! Keep reading! 

Finished it now? Well to summarize, it basically lists some of the spiritual gifts... and then goes on to say that if you do not have love with them, then they are not helpful... in fact they become useless or annoy and hinder others from knowing God! Kind of crazy? Well what exactly does this love have to include? Well for us to use our spiritual gifts with love, we must use the love that is described later in the passage. 

(4-8a) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

While we as believers are given spiritual gifts, we are to use them in love for others. They are not to be horded away and used selfishly, they are not to be used to boost our ego and become prideful, and they are not to be used to belittle others. As part of the Body of Christ our gifts are to be used along side each other to draw others to Him. For us to be an active body of Christ, we must be using all of our gifts, and that means knowing what they are and how best to use them.

I really encourage you as a follower of Jesus to use the gifts you have and to nurture them so that you will be able to use them to the best of your ability. And when you use them, remember to do it in love. Because with love, nothing will fail.

God Bless,

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Update On Me :)

Hey all! Sorry I haven't posted in like... forever!! :( Life has been pretty busy! So here's an update to catch you up on everything that's been going on in a very... general way. ;P

I AM DONE HIGHSCHOOL! Yep! I graduated! As of June 25th 2013 I was finished all highschool exams and classes. :) Only very exciting! Exams and homework kept me super busy for many many months. I am so thankful I am done with them... at least for highschool.

I am moving! Yep! You heard me right! :P My family is staying where they are, but I am moving for school... which brings me to the next thing!

I am going to Bible college! :) Yeaah... in case you hadn't figured it out by now I kind of am crazy about God... so am greatly looking forward to digging deeper into His word and learning more about Him. :)

What am I going to take...? Well so far my plan is to for sure do a one year program which will get me a certificate in Bible. However, my hope is that if after the one year I will be able to continue on and get a double Bachelor of Arts, majoring in theology and possibly youth ministry! :)  I am so very excited about this opportunity I have been given and ask that you would pray for wisdom and direction for me as I continue to seek after God. Pray also for my family as we are not used to being apart and it will be a huge transition to have me not at home.

Thanks so much for being patient with me as dealt with all the craziness in my life. :) Hopefully I will be able to post more often!!

May God bless you greatly!


PS if you have any prayer requests, be sure to comment below!

Why Should I?!

Ever been so hurt by someone you can't breath? It really sucks. Like... a lot. And sometimes it hurts a long time after. That feeling you get when you think about it... and remember what you did too... and how you ended up hurting yourself and the other person... its hard to forget. Even harder to forgive. But in reality, the only way to heal is to forgive. Them. And then yourself. Why? I'll explain it to you so you understand why I think it is super important. Ok? 

I personally believe that hanging onto the bitterness and hurt in the end only hurts you. Holding a grudge places a wall on your heart and makes it hard for you to feel God's love and hear His leading. By holding onto an unforgiving mindset, you are also blocking God's forgiveness for your own sin against Him. While they may have sinned against you, how many times have you sinned against Him?
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15

This verse also can apply to forgiveness of yourself. You are also one off those "men" (or women) who can sin against yourself, others, and God. And sometimes it can be so hard to forget. The truth of it is... you may never forget how you screwed up. Those major mistakes? You may remember them for the rest of your life. The thing is it is your choice on if you want to dwell on them and allow them to turn into bitterness and unforgiveness towards yourself or if you want to ask God to take those hurts and heal them. So while you may remember those mistakes... that does not mean you are stuck in unforgiveness for them. Honestly though. Who are you to say "I screwed up too badly. I cant forgive myself. I don't deserve ________(insert the thing you are wanting to succeed at whether its a relationship or a job or whatever). I've messed up too much to be good enough for _____. I wont ever be able to forgive myself or if I do it will only be if "such and such a thing" happens." Why are you saying that?! Don't you see that God does forgive you but you need to forgive yourself in order to receive the true healing that comes from being fully forgiven and free in Christ? As the verse says, if you wont forgive yourself God will not forgive you. This isnt something little!! This is major! You may work through the grudge and bitterness you hold towards someone else but you may not forgive yourself... that's still holding back God's forgiveness and its not something to take lightly or to not think about. I know I've said this before in a post but I truly believe this is sooo important. Do not let your pride and your high standards get ahead of God's opinion and standards for your life.  Whats more important, God's forgiveness or your forgiveness? What are you willing to do to fully embrace God's forgiveness? Think about it! Are you willing to put aside your pride and let God heal you fully? Are you willing to mend broken relationships that you let fall apart when you didn't fully embrace God's forgiveness? Are you willing to risk messing up again and having to go back to God and ask again and again for His forgiveness and His grace in your life? Are you willing to submit yourself to Him? The Bible promises in 1st John 1:9 that, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse/purify us from all unrighteousness."  When you think of something pure do you think of mold? Do you think of garbage? Do you think of broken things? Probably not! When Jesus says that He will purify us that means completely pure. So those mistakes you made... they're gone! Why? Because you forgave the other person, you forgave yourself, and you let God forgive and heal you. That is why I believe forgiveness is so very very important. And it is never ever to late to be forgiven. I encourage you as you think about what I wrote down and Jesus' words to search your heart and see if there is any bitterness, anger, or unforgiveness dwelling within you. How is that holding you back? My challenge to you now is to let it go. Forgive. Forgive the person who hurt you. Forgive yourself for messing up. And let God's healing, love and peace fill your heart and life. Don't let that hurt keep you from reaching for Him or for the people and opportunities He places in your life. Do not miss out on the love that you can have. 



Thursday, April 18, 2013

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Lets play a quick game of "Have You Ever". Basically, in my version... if you have done one of these things then I want you to draw a red X on a piece of paper. Ready? Lets try it!

Have you ever... known you were wrong but not apologized?
Have you ever... done something nice just to get noticed for it?
Have you ever... compared yourself to other people to make yourself feel better?
Have you ever... decided that you can't learn anything from one of your leaders/teachers?
Have you ever... spent an entire conversation talking only about you without asking about the other person?
Have you ever... decided you were too good or to much "above" someone to learn from them?
Have you ever... been defensive when you receive criticism?
Have you ever... wanted someone to serve you constantly or expected to be served?
Have you ever... thought you were better than someone?
Have you ever... thought someone who messed up deserved whatever happened to them?
Have you ever... thought everyone else can mess up but you cant?
Have you ever... tried to justify why you are sinning?
Have you ever... took full credit for something that was a team effort?
Have you ever... stopped depending on God and started depending on yourself?
Have you ever... said "God can forgive me, but I can't forgive myself"?
Have you ever... used someone else's sin to justify your own?
Have you ever... put someone down for their sin?
Have you ever... been easily offended?
Have you ever... demanded to be the center of attention?
Have you ever... done something that should be to honor God just so others would see you're good at it?
Have you ever... been unwilling to serve or do something for someone else?
Have you ever... thought that you don't need God to accomplish something?
Have you ever... thought of yourself first?
Have you ever... had to top someone just because you couldn't let someone be better than you?
Have you ever... stolen someone's spot light because you didn't want to admit they were good at something you arent?

Ok...Do you have your red X's now? But what do they mean? What do all those questions have to do with saving yourself from a wreck? Well they all have a basic reason behind them that you may or may not have picked up on. Pride. Yep, all the reasons you have an X written down, that's pride. Big, bold, and red. Surprise! You have pride issues! And here's something you may have expected... so do I! And it is not good.

Basically pride is thinking of yourself as greater than everything. Yep, even God. See why I say its not good? Here are some Biblical reasons why.

In Obadiah God is displeased with the pride He sees in the city of Edom and so He responds with "The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rock, in your lofty dwelling, who say in your heart, "Who will bring me down to the ground?" Though you soar aloft like the eagle, though your nest is set amount the stars, from there I will bring you down, declares the Lord." (Obadiah 1:3-4) From these verses I want you to see and start to understand just how much God dislikes pride. Pride is deceiving it creates a false sense of security and confidence while covering up all the sin, hurt, and brokenness of the person. Instead of finding full forgiveness in God, people say they can't be forgiven or can't forgive themselves. This causes a lot of emotional problems and a feeling of separation between you and God. Instead of allowing others to lead or be the center of attention at appropriate times, people take over everything and have to be in the spot light. This leads to strained relationships and takes God's right to the best of your abilities and places the glory back on you. Comparing yourself to others either leads to a false sense of being better than someone, or a false sense of being worth nothing. Both are only looking at your opinion of yourself and saying that God's isn't most important. Being unwilling to learn from others whether older, younger, or the same age as you leads to ignorance and arrogance. God values knowledge about Him. There are many many more, but you can see how pride affects so many aspects of life and  how easily some of them go unchecked or un-noticed.

In Psalm David talks many times about pride and how it pulls people away from God.
Psalm 10:4 "In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, 'There is no God'."
Psalm 31:18 "Let the lying lips be mute, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt."
Psalm 31:23 "Love the Lord, all you his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride."
David was considered a man after God's own heart. And he detested prideful people and showed again and again in his teachings and writings that God will punish the prideful.

Solomon is considered to be the wisest man to live. God poured His wisdom out onto Solomon. In Solomon's Proverbs, he shows why pride is not something God values and also what God seeks to find in His people.
Proverbs 8:13 "The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate." (Ummm kay God doesnt just dislike pride, he calls it evil and hates it.)
11:2 "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom."
16:18 "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."
29:23 "One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor."

Back to Psalm for a sec to contrast some of the pride with what God desires.
Psalm 149:4 "For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He adorns the humble with salvation."
God values humbleness and humility.
Matthew 23:12 says, "Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."
When we live in pride we are setting ourselves away from God and who He is. Since God detests pride, He is not prideful. So what is He? He is humble. God could be a huge show off and make us all believe in Him, but instead He chose to be humble and to come to save us by becoming one of us. How much more humble could He be than becoming one of His own creation? "And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2:8. To be walking with God in a proper relationship and to be honestly and fully seeking to become more like Him, we need to address our pride. We need to be willing to become humble enough to follow Him to the cross.

We must remember that God is love. And pride has no part in love. It cannot fit into a relationship with humans or with God. If we truly desire to live for and to love Him, we cannot have pride. If we want to reflect Him in our relationships and friendships, we cannot be prideful.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." (1 Corinthians 13:4) God is love. God cannot be proud. We are called to model Him in our lives. We really need to work on our pride.

I pray that this will make you think, and help you to grow closer to Him.

God bless,

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Oh No! A Big Decision! What Do I Do?!?!

Hey! So I'm back! :) I know I was away for some time, school has been slightly chaotic lately. Anyways I have some big choices to make in my life soon. I have to figure out where I want to go in the future and such. Its a scary prospect, thinking that my choices now affect so much of my life for the future. The decisions I make now will change and mold how I want my future to look. So how am I to know what to choose? How do I make a well informed choice that will glorify God? How can I make the wisest choice possible with the knowledge I am given? Well... I'm going to talk a bit about how I've been learning is the right way (smart way) to make a well informed wise decision about something big in life. Whether its to do with work, school, relationships, or anything that affects large parts of your life, there needs to be a lot of thought put into it before you do something. Rushed decisions don't tend to end very well. So here are some of the ways I have learned to help me make the "right" decision.

Probably the most important thing to keep in mind is that glorifying God is the main goal in this! It is not "what will be the easiest way to make the most money" or "What is the fastest way to be done school" or "How can my girlfriend/boyfriend make me feel and look good and if they cant why should I keep them around" or "If I dump this person then it will make life so much easier for me". The main goal of any choice you make is what is the best way I can glorify God in this? What is the best way I can live Him out in my choice? If it means that you end up working somewhere you dont get paid a lot but you influence many lives for God then would it be worth it? If it means taking the 10 years and becoming a Dr would you do it? If it means thinking of your boyfriend/girlfriend first would you be willing to? Remember, in all choices glorifying God is your main objective. 1st Corinthians 10:31 " So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

A huge thing is before you react to something or make your choice, figure out what was influencing you to think that way? Where are your influences coming from and are they from? Are the things influencing you trust worthy? Are they God honoring things? Most people dont stop to think about why they are thinking something, they just react. So I highly encourage you to stop and think for a minute about what influences your thinking about relationships? What influences your thinking about school? What influences your thinking about work? Are the things influencing you good things?

This is actually huge when it comes to who your friends are. If you look at your closes friends and the people you spend the most time talking to and hanging out with, would you be okay being like them? Those who are closest to you are the people who influence your thinking the most. Be aware of that when you have major life choices to make. Do you want to end up like the people you surround yourself with? Will ending up like that glorify God?

After you think of this, then spend some time digging into God's word, praying, and spending quiet time listening. Seek His heart through His words. After you spent time praying and seeking God, you should have some idea of what to choose. With this in mind... now we come to one of the huge steps that I believe is super important. Proverbs 12:15 says, "The way of a fool seems right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice." At this point I highly highly encourage you to seek counsel from others. But be careful with who you ask. From my experiences in my short life... I have learned that people my age tend to be just as lost as me. People younger than me tend not to be in the same boat quite yet. So while asking their opinions may be good, be careful of their advice. It may not be based on the wisdom that comes only from experience. Instead, seek advice from people older than you. This may sound crazy but ask your parents for their advice! Sit down with your pastor and ask them what they think of it. If you have an older mentor, ask them. Seek advice from multiple people who have the life experience, who lead Godly lives, and who know you well enough to give you honest opinions. Proverbs 11:14 states, "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." If what they say goes with what you were thinking, then you are quite possibly headed in the right direction, but if they do not agree with what you were thinking, then take their words seriously and wait and pray more. Have them pray with you about it and come back after a while and talk about it again. Don't just brush aside the advice that you are given, but weigh it carefully. Remember that your main objective is to glorify God.

God says in Psalm 32:8, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you." He will instruct you and teach you. He will counsel you on what to do. But you must first seek Him. Hopefully what I have said will help you be able to do that with clarity and purpose.

May God bless you!

In His Hands,

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

A Not So Simple Fairy Tale

Ok, so today I don't really have any advice to share. Today I really dont know what to say. So instead I'm going to tell you a story. And maybe you will learn something from it.

There once was a girl who gave her all in everything she did. She knew that God gave her the ability to do so many things and that to glorify Him she needed to do her best. All through her life she gave her best in everything she did. From painting or drawing to math to swimming to being a friend, she gave her all in everything. One day when she was old enough to start noticing boys, one boy came into her life that was so very different. He had a slightly dangerous air about him but was sweet to her and treated her like a princess. This was very new and different for her as she had always been just another one of the "guys". This boy became her best friend, her confidant, her secret keeper, and the person she loved. He meant the world to her. But along the way, she did something she shouldnt have. She didnt listen to or obey her parents. They asked her to wait because they werent completely sure about some things but she didnt listen. She gave her heart to this boy and set her dreams on him. In the end, she had to choose. To obey God she had to obey her parents but that meant she had to give up him. She made her choice. She chose God. He came first and He was most important even if it crushed her to give him up she knew that God would provide if she just trusted him.

So for a long time after that she prayed and prayed that God would provide a man that would be her best friend, who would adore her, who she could have fun with, and who would love Him as much as she did. A while later that man appeared. He was completely an answer to her prayers. He was everything and more that she had hoped for. He surprised her with gifts, with visits, and adored her in a way no one ever had. He looked at her like she was his world and he became hers. She adored him and cared about him as much as was humanly possible. When he asked her out she said yes knowing that with her yes she would be giving him her heart and her best with the blessing of her parents. Everything was all or nothing and she chose all with him. In every little thing she did after then she thought of him and how she could best show him how much she cared and for a while it seemed as if he did the same. But slowly it became just her. She couldn't understand what was happening and how he could look at her with so much love and kiss her and hold her and tell her all these things and then just shut off. So she tried still. Believing that God had provided for her prayers and knowing that this man was what she prayed for. She did all she could think of to let him know how much she cared and how far she would have gone to make it work. But he didn't respond even remotely like what she thought he would. Instead he ended things and walked away. She was so very very hurt. Not only had she given him her heart on a silver platter, but she had given him a piece of her forever and he had walked away driving a knife through her tender heart. Crushed. Broken. Alone. The feelings that haunted her. Why was her best not good enough for him? How is it that an answer to prayer, a dream come true, could turn so suddenly into her worst nightmare? Why would God bring him into her life only to rip Him out?

The answer... God did answer her prayer by bringing him into her life. He taught her so many things. He taught her that a healthy relationship is centered on God. That a relationship is all about serving the other person and putting their needs above your own. That if a relationship is going to work one person cant be giving their all when the other only gives part because it is exhausting for the one person. And that good, God-fearing, loving, wonderful men are actually out there! (Ladies, take hope! They do exist). God also didnt rip him out of her life. That man chose to leave. God placed them together for a reason but it may have only been for a season. Either way God didn't make him leave, he chose to walk away. God wouldn't hurt her in such a deep way, in fact He would be crying with her and holding her close sheltering her from the brunt of all the hurt. While she may never understand why, she knows that just like before she will choose to trust God. And this time she knows that if she gives her all to God, nothing can bring her down.

While she was hurting, God also poured out His love into her life. He sustained her through every moment and provided amazing friends and family to be there beside her to lift her up when she couldn't walk and to hold her close when she felt broken. He showed her how much He cares about each part of her life by placing people in all of the areas who would encourage her and point her right back to Him and His love. While the earthly man may change his love and walk away, she knows her Heavenly Love will never leave her side. While he was an answer to prayer and he gave her a glimpse of what love looks like, she knows that the man she marries she will love more than she could understand and that God loves her even more than that. How great is God's love? How vast beyond all measure?  And with her God and her incredible friends and family, she knows that she will make it. She knows that God has a future for her that will be incredible and she chooses to give her all to glorifying Him in her life right now. She is still an all or nothing girl, it is how He made her. But she chooses in everything to give her all to Him. Because He still asks for nothing less than her all. He asks for all of her life. All of her trust. All of her love. And that is what she will give Him.

God Bless,

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

What I Wish More People Knew About Dating

Okay, so the very first thing I think more people should realize about dating is that you're not just dating that boy or that girl. Nope! You are dating God's creation! You are dating God's son or daughter! If that doesn't make you stop and think about how you act, then the rest of what I say really doesn't matter.

Now that I mentioned that, the next thing you need to keep in mind is that dating a non-Christian actually is a big deal. God does call us to not be unequally yoked in our marriages (aka Christian with non-Christian). Dating eventually leads to marriage, so how is dating a non-Christian ok? Its not! It is so much easier for a person to pull you down than it is for you to lift that person up. In other words... no missionary dating!

Next people need to realize that dating at young ages really wont help you in the long run and it may in fact harm things. What if you date the person that you would have married too early? Then things get messy and you break up because you were too young for it to progress into marriage. That... isn't a good thing. Please please PLEASE consider your age when you think about dating!

When you start to date, you need to be sure that you are ready for it. Truly you need to be ready for the type of investment you will be making with your time and your heart. If you aren't ready to commit for a long time then you aren't ready to date (sorry, but its true). It is not ok to say you'll commit for a long time then pull out. That is not fair to the person you are dating and is very painful for them. And that also sets you up badly for marriage as well... you cant just all of a sudden decide you're not ready to be married when you are married. That just doesn't work. If you commit to it... stick to it!

Realize that when you ask someone to date you or say yes to dating someone, even if you don't think you will get emotionally involved, you will. Be prepared for this and guard your heart accordingly.

Keep in mind that there is not a guarantee that your relationship will work out, so do not share things with them that you will regret after.

If the person interested in you is ditching another relationship to be with you... that is NOT ok. Why in the world would you date someone who would ditch their relationship for you? Sure it may make you think "man, they really like me a lot" but what's to say they wont do that to you later? If that is what they're doing and what they're like, then run far away!

Similarly, if they cheat on you and come back... say no!! If they can do that while dating you, why would they stay faithful when they are married to you?

Putting each other down even in fun is not ok! Neither is always play bickering or trying to get on the other's nerves. Eventually all of those things become real. If the world is already trying to bring you down, why would you want to be with someone who does that too? It hurts. Build each other up! In everything you say to each other or to other people about each other, let it be good and helpful.

"I love you" actually means something! Please keep it that way! Don't say "I love you" after the first 2 hours of dating someone. You don't really love them... :P Sure you are highly attracted to them, but loving them comes from knowing them and serving them. That doesn't happen over night. And if someone says "I love you" to you, be sure that they actually back it up for the long run by not just their words, but their actions!

And by actions I do not mean they have sex with you. SEX IS NOT LOVE! Outside of marriage all sex is is lust. By actions I mean that they go out of their way to make sure you are ok, to keep you safe, and to honor you as their boyfriend/girlfriend but also as their brother/sister in Christ!

On the topic of sex... I want to point out that kissing, holding hands, and the stuff that the world considers to be little actually means a lot. If you think about your future spouse, the things you give away to someone now that isn't going to be your spouse, is stuff you are stealing from the person who actually is going to be your spouse. Also, the things you do with the person you are dating... you are depriving and stealing from their future spouse. Please think that over! Mull over it, consider it, think about it, and try to comprehend it. It made me do a double take when I realized that.

Guys, just so you know, girls view kissing very differently than you do. You may consider it an experience and may love it and it may feel amazing, but for girls its different. Girls view kissing as something very precious. Its a way that we give a guy our trust, our love, and our heart. It leaves us vulnerable. While it may make the guys feel powerful, it makes girls feel vulnerable. So even those things you may think are "little" actually are big and mean a whole lot more.

Please realize this and know that it is true. Unless you are married to someone and you are considered by God to be one body, then you have absolutely no right to any part of their body! None! That covers all parts of intimacy! If you are living out your love for God and your future spouse, then why would you treat the person you are dating any differently than a married person would treat someone not their spouse? It may be hard to think about and you may not agree, but think about it! Please, just think it through. :)

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22

People will say things in a moment, but unless they live it out for a long time... be careful!

If it comes to a point where the relationship is not working and you know it needs to end because it is not pleasing to God... then don't make stupid excuses, don't tell them it is because you're not good enough for them, don't say its because you need to work on _______ before you're ready to date, and don't say you realized they weren't good enough. Those are stupid excuses! MAN (or woman) UP! Take the fall for your choices, and end things without putting the blame on them, or on God. Be straight with them. If you're going to break their heart or hurt them, the least you can do is be honest, open, and gentle with them!

Do not ask to be friends or try to stay friends with your ex. 1. A friend would never hurt you how your ex did. A friend would have looked out for your interest, not their own. 2. This isn't fair to you! Your emotions were involved and if you're always hoping that it will go back to how it was, then that really isnt fair to your heart. 3. It isnt fair to your future boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse to always have an ex hanging around. That just isnt cool. No one wants to be reminded that there was someone around before them!

Relationships take two! And if only one of you is working for it... it will not work. :( Trust me. Even if you put your all into making it work, unless the other person tries too then the relationship will die.

Dating isn't easy. It takes work. It takes time. It hurts. Its wonderful. Its painful. It has ups. It has downs. You have to work for it, but anything good is worth the work. And if the person makes you happy, if its honoring to God, if you're comfortable and can be yourself around them, and if they are wanting to serve you and in turn serve God, then why wouldn't you work for it?

God bless!


Monday, March 18, 2013

Walking Blind

Have you ever tried to walk around your house with your eyes closed? Your house is your ground, a place that you know, that you are familiar with, but when you close your eyes its hard to move around without walking into something, knocking something over, or hurting someone or yourself. This is kind of like your faith in God. You think living out your faith is comfortable, easy, and familiar, until you are asked to step out and walk blind. That is when panic and procrastination comes in. Both not good things.

I know right now God hasn't shown me a "clear path" for where I should go. I feel a bit in the dark about life in general and its a confusing, scary, and slightly frustrating place to be in. Me being the one who wants to control my life, wants to know where I should go, what I should do, who I should do it with, and when! But God hasn't shown me any of those, and honestly He may never fully tell me those things before they happen, but I know that He will guide me. How do I know? Well that's where the faith part comes in. I have FAITH that God will guide me. I cant always see where He will take me, but I know He will take me there.

"For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened- not that we would be unclothes, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil." 2 Corinthians 5:1-10

We don't know exactly what we're doing here on earth, but we do know where we are going! Our walk here on our earthly home is blind. We do not see what is truly going on around us or where our next step will land, we just know that we have a home in heaven and that is where we belong. While it is hard and I still have no idea where I'm going here on earth, I do know where I am going for eternity and I know that while I am on earth, no matter where my path may go, I can always choose to honor God. I am of good courage knowing that even though I am walking blind on earth and don't know where my step will fall, God will provide the path I need to best glorify Him and will someday take my broken, battered tent and replace it with a mansion.

God bless,

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

A Relationship Wrecking Ball

Ok so this is something that I've noticed is a huge deal for people who are in dating relationships or who are married. This is something that actually breaks relationships apart and to me, its something that really needs to be addressed. This thing is known to many of you as "like" or "attraction". Now when you are not in a relationship, liking someone or being attracted to them is not that big of a deal. In fact, its expected and normal and totally ok! :) So what happens when you're in a relationship with an amazing person, but you notice someone else? What happens when you are attracted to someone other than your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife? Well here's what I see happening most often...

First there is a couple. They are super happy, they adore each other, and they know that they are dating/married to someone who has the same values and beliefs as them. They are incredible together and their relationship is God honoring. And then.... one of them notices someone else who is nice, good looking, and maybe they have fun with. But they are caught, because they have someone in their life already. They are torn between the "newness" of this new person and the deep commitment they have with the other person. This causes a LOT of confusion and hurt for all of the people involved. And the relationship ends up breaking apart because the person attracted to the new person can not let go of the new person or the idea of them.

I'm sure lots of you have seen this happen in your friends' dating relationships and sadly even in marriages. It is completely heart breaking... and really I don't understand it. But it happens and it is completely horrible. So what does God think of this crazy horrible thing?

For marriages in particular, the Bible states that "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 How can  you separate something that is one flesh without completely killing both halves and ripping them apart? The truth? You cant.
Paul states plainly what the view of divorce is in 1st Corinthians 7:10-11, "To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does she should remain unmarried or reconcile to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife." Does any of that say "If you are attracted to a new person its totally ok to ditch your husband/wife and go with this other person"? Nope, in fact it doesn't leave room for that. It says not to leave your husband/wife. So attraction to another person should not get in the way of marriages! But why does it?

Because people stop thinking about God and about their spouse and start thinking about themselves and their selfish desires. When you take your eyes off of pleasing God and being the best person you can be for Him and how you can best serve your significant other, then you start focusing on your self and that is when these sins slip in. This is the same for dating relationships and why people cheat or they break up because they just don't "feel into it anymore". Feelings don't really have a ton to do with being committed  Yes, attraction is a good thing, however those fuzzy feelings fade and then you are left with the real person. True commitment comes when you know the real person and you CHOOSE to stay with them. And what happens when you notice another new attractive person? Is it a huge sin? Is it wrong? Well... in all honestly I believe that you may always notice an attractive person. However, commitment comes in when you realize that you already are with an amazing person and God has already provided you with someone to love and who loves you, and you can walk away from that new person knowing that you are choosing to be committed. Is it wrong to notice an attractive person? No, it is only wrong to cheat on the person you are dating/married to. Really its an eye to thought connection. Your eyes can notice something, but unless you let your brain dwell on it, then its just something you  notice but don't really think about. When you see someone else that is attractive, as long as you don't dwell on it, it is just something you notice, more of a fact that doesn't really affect you. It is when you let it sit in your mind and you dwell on it that the trouble starts. God asks us to dwell on things that are pleasing to Him, so is dwelling on someone who isn't the person you have committed to honoring to God? Where your thoughts are, there your heart will be also. Be careful not to let your mind wander, and your heart won't be as quick to follow.

Commitment isn't NOT noticing an attractive person, it is walking away from them knowing you already are dating/married to an amazing person. God has provided you with an amazing man/woman so why would you need anything else? He provides for our needs, so trust Him and stay committed.


Monday, March 11, 2013

This Is My Friend... Or Are They More?

When you think of someone who is in your life who is a "true friend" what are some of the qualities you identify in them? Do you know what makes that person such a fantastic friend? Here are some of the reasons I think my true friends and best friends are such wonderful friends.

1. They seek the best for the other. My best friends seek the best for me. They want me to have the best of everything, even if it means giving something up themselves. They willingly sacrifice for me even if it makes it hard for them or puts them out.

2. They will laugh with me. Sometime's at me, but never in a mean way. They always laugh with me, even when its those little stupid things.

3. They cry with me. My friends understand when I am hurting and they hurt for me. They don't try to fix it, they just hurt with me, hold me, and pray me through it.

4. They take time for me. They will always take time out for me. :) For me, quality time means a LOT! I know they care because they take time for me. This comes out in them taking time to care about the little and big things in my life.

5. They actually care! No seriously, they care. They don't just ask me how I'm doing because they're being polite and really want me to ask it back so they can vent... they ask because they care. They go out of their way to show me that they care in sooo many ways! From giving me hugs, worship music, sermons, Bible verses, and Kleenex when I'm broken to laughing, dancing, screaming, hugging, and smiling with me when something exciting happens.

6. They are always there! Sometimes I don't even recognize that I really really need a friend or someone to be there with me and for me, but they always seem to pick up on it and are always there for me! Its incredible! I am so very blessed to have friends who are always there for me.

7. They love me! Not in a romantic way, but in a real, accepting, caring, brother/sister way.

I could come up with so much more as to why my friends are amazing, but I think you get the idea. :) Jesus had some pretty amazing friends too! And Jesus, Himself, was an incredible friend. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." Jesus was the absolute best friend there ever could be, because He willingly sacrificed His life for His friends. For you. That's right! Jesus is your friend. ;) Also He is the only friend who will never let you down and whose love for you is greater than anyone on earth's love could ever be! So there's my thought for today.

Now... a lot of you guys and girls have amazing friends of the opposite sex who do all this wonderful stuff and really genuinely care about you. And a lot of times you can get confused as to what they mean by it. Are they really just your friend? Or are they more? Do they like you as more?
In all honestly I have wondered the same thing, and jeopardized some amazing friendships because of it. If a guy is super nice to me my brain will go "oooo! He must like you!" or "he totally wants something out of this". And that is NOT fair of me. It is an extremely human response, not a Godly response. I shouldn't be thinking those things. And I am really working and growing in that area of my life as I have some amazing guys who actually are just my friends. They are teaching me a lot about how guys care about girls but as friends, and my mind-set on friendship with the opposite sex is changing. How, you ask? Here, let me explain a bit.
In general, I have learned that guys and girls are built to care. We are made to care for each other  Its just part of how we are made. This does not mean we "like" that person in a romantic way, it just means we care.  Yes, people who like each other care about each other, but friends care about each other too. Friends love each other! That is how friendship is supposed to be! So don't be weirded out or instantly think more of it when a friend is nice to you and cares. They are actually supposed to! If they didn't then what kind of friend would they be?
"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Romans 12:10
We are called to love each other with brotherly love. Not romantic love, brotherly love! So when your friends show that they care, they are actually following Christ's example and God's will for us. Try to keep that in mind when your friends of the opposite sex show caring and kindness towards you! It does not mean they are interested in dating you (at least most times), but it shows that they care about you as their brother or sister in Christ. :) They are your family and as your family, they love you! The second part of the verse says honor! We are to honor one another as well as care for them! So if you KNOW that someone is attracted to you in more than a friend way, then honor them and care about that by not leading them on and trying to be super close best friends who do everything together. That really does hurt them and is not at all loving or honoring. I'll be doing a post about honoring one another sometime in the near future. :) But for now, please think these things through and keep in mind that you are called to love others as your brothers and sisters through Christ.

God Bless,

Monday, March 4, 2013

The Difference in The Voices

Hi guys, sorry its been a while. I've been going through it and really haven't felt I could honestly say anything that would be relevant or fit with anything that's been going on in my life. I am struggling so much right now to discern who's voice I am hearing and who's voice I want to listen to. In one ear I am hearing that God loves me, that He has a plan, that He will bring good out of this pain, and that He will hold me through this. In the other ear I am hearing that God has left me to face this alone, that I messed everything up, that I'm worthless, that I'm unloved. One side is truth, one side is lies. You can probably tell right away which is which, but when you're the person hearing them, its hard to discern what is what. So how can you tell when it is God prompting you forward and growing you, or if it's lies set out to trap you and break you off of the path God set you on?

Well some ways are to look at HOW the thought comes.
1. Does it reflect the character of God? If not, then what is it reflecting?
2. Does it help you or hinder you? God wants to help you to reach Him and help you in your life. He will hinder you from the extremely bad things, but in those cases you will more than likely know that it's wrong to begin with. :P
3. Does it still you or does it rustle you? God's voice is calming, it should still you.
4. Does it lead you or does it push you? Leading is good, God's voice should lead you, but it shouldn't push you. God isn't pushy.
5. Does it reassure you or does it frighten you? God's voice should reassure you, not frighten you.
6. Does it enlighten you or confuse you? God is not a God of confusion! He likes order and sense.
7. Does it encourage you or discourage you? God is encouraging in the good things, but should enlighten you to the bad.
8. Does it comfort you or does it worry you? worry is a sin! God wouldn't cause you to worry!
9. Does it calm you or does it obsess you? God likes calm too! Obsession isn't a good thing.
10. Does it convict you or does it condemn you? God's Spirit lives within you! He will convict you to the things that are bad or wrong for you. God does not condemn or guilt His children. Guilt isn't from God, guilt just condemns you and makes you feel shame and despair. Guilt wants you to wallow in your mistakes, while God wants you to receive forgiveness and love and be able to move forward. His Spirit convicts you to notice the mistakes and wrongs in your life and to make a change and move towards Him.

Remember, the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patients, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! You should be able to recognize those traits in the thoughts that are good and from God. If your thoughts aren't good, and they are harming you, please have a Bible verse that you can turn to! One of the one's I have right now is Psalm 30:2 "Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me." He heard my cry for help and He healed me. He loves me. He wants the best for me. And He loves you and wants the best for you! Listen closely to Him, seek His words in the Bible and also in quiet time. Let Him speak to you and be careful  to listen to the Right voice.

God Bless,

Thursday, February 21, 2013

End of the Rope

So right now, I feel like I've reached the end of my rope. I'm falling to my knees in exhaustion, discouragement, and surrender. I can't handle any more. Everything that could possible go wrong has or is going wrong. The crazing amazing things that I know God brought into my life or blessed me with are being messed around with by the devil and keep turning around and hurting instead of encouraging me or moving me forward. I feel worn out trying to stay positive in all of this darkness. I really am at the end of my rope clinging to the ends while it frays in my hands. I know, it sounds terrible. But I wanted you guys to know that you're not alone in facing troubles. You're not alone in feeling down. So I want to take this time to encourage you and remind us both of God's promises to us as His beloved children.

Philippians 4:19 says "And my God will meet all of your needs according to His glorious riches in Jesus Christ." Notice that it says ALL of your needs. Not just some, not just parts, but ALL of them. God will meet you where you're at and fulfill all of your needs.

John 16:33 says "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! For I have overcome the world!" Jesus even says that we will have trouble, but He also promises us that He has overcome the world. Christ is alive still, He overcame death to save us. He will help us through the craziness of life.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4 God will keep us in perfect peace when we trust in Him. He is eternal, He is the Lord and He is our Rock through the times of trouble and hardship.

"God is our refuge and strength, our ever present help in times of trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, even in the times of trouble. As the things on earth go terribly wrong, and the whole world seems to be falling apart, God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and strengthen us to endure the hardships we face.

Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." You starting to pick up on the theme here? God is our strength, He will help us, so why would we fear our be dismayed?

"Cast ALL your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1st Peter 5:7 Cast all that anxiety, stress, worry, fear, all of it, onto God, because He cares for us. He knows our needs, He will provide, He will meet us where we are, He will strengthen us, He loves us.

So what do you do when you don't have the strength left to hang onto the rope? What do you do when your strength is failing? Well, you fall to your knees, you PRAY! You spend time in His word finding encouragement. You get back up. You hold onto that rope, and you KNOW that God will give you the strength to persevere and face the next day, the next hour, and the next minute. Because we know His promises and we KNOW He cares for us. Even when we are walking through the darkness, God is our light.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119:105

Even with all that's going on, all the hard things you face, all the challenges that get thrown at you, God is your refuge and your strength. Lean on Him and you can make it through anything.

He is my refuge, He is my strength, He is my rock, He is my help, He is my deliverer  He is my healer, He is my savior, He is my love, and He is my God. In HIM alone will I find what I need.

God bless,

Monday, February 18, 2013

Trust Me- God

Right now there is so much going on in a lot of your lives. Some of you are facing divorce in your family. Death of a loved one. Depression. Disabilities. Sickness. Anger. Hurt. And so much more. I know some (not all) of those things I'm dealing with too and it's really hard. It's hard to be joyful and not let everything get me down. Its hard to not let things get to me. Its hard not to feel alone in my struggles. And sometimes its really hard to trust that God has a plan... but the cool thing is that He does. And that is what I'm going to talk about today. Trusting God even through all those insanely hard things that keep pulling you down.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying "what shall we eat?" or "what shall we drink?" or "what shall we wear?"" Matthew 6:25-31

God tells us not to be anxious about the things going on in our lives, but to TRUST Him, because He will provide for all of our needs, just as He does for the birds, and the flowers. Why?

"For great is His steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 117:2

Even during all those hard things, God's faithfulness will never leave. He will always be with us and always help us through. And when we are afraid we can be assured that He is with us.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:3-5

"So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" " Hebrews 13:6

"Those who TRUST in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever." Psalm 125:1

While I can't tell you that those things will get any easier. That the burden will lift, or the pain ease, I can tell you that there is a God who asks you to trust Him and who will carry your burden for you.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Trust that God will hold you, even in your darkest days. He is always with you and loves you with a never ending, unconditional, supernatural, all encompassing love. And finally

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

May God bless you and may you feel Him holding you no matter what is going on in your life.


ADD ON! Practical ways to apply this!

Whenever you are feeling down or having a hard time trusting God, have a verse that you can bring to mind and draw hope from.
Listen to worship music!
Praise God! I know its hard when everything feels so down, but He is still worthy of our praises. Look at David's example in Psalms. :)

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Ladies first?

So today I'm going to cover a semi-controversial issue. Who should be pursuing who? Girls pursuing guys? Or guys pursuing girls? Which way is right? What's God's opinion on it? Does He have an opinion on it? You ready for this? Lets dig into it.

I've been reading a lot lately about dating, marriage, courtship, and being friends. (You can thank my parents for doing a talk on that, because it made me curious as to what people were saying about it and how all that they say really fits into my life). One of the common themes seems to be about pursuing and why it should be done a certain way even in just friends.

So now a days its extremely common for girls to go after guys they want. They become the pursuers instead of letting guys pursue them. More and more often girls are the ones to text/call a guy first, ask him to hang out, ask him out on dates, initiate anything physical, and they are even pressuring guys into doing stuff. This is so different than before when girls wouldn't even talk to a guy unless he approached her first. Not saying that that was completely good, but relationships seemed to be a bit different and have higher chances of lasting and being fulfilling when the guys approached the girls first. Why? Well... lets look at some reasons why guys should be initiating things with girls.

1. Man was created first. "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

2. Woman was created for man, because it was not good for man to be alone. (Gen 2) Again, emphasizing that man was created first.

3. Man was given the opportunity to find a help-mate, in other words he got to choose, but he couldn't find one suitable hence why woman was made. (Gen 2)

4. Men are the leaders of the family, but also the spiritual leaders of a home. "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

Alright, so those are some Biblical reasons why guys should be initiating. Seems pretty logical hey? But here are some others that I have come up with.

1. It makes the guy risk it. If the guy risks it, he will be more likely to stick around or want to work through things because he wanted it enough to risk asking in the first place.

2. It shows that he believes the girl is worth the risk.

3. It is proven that relationships that are initiated by the guy are actually more satisfying because he had/has to work for her.

4. Guys like a challenge... girls like to be pursued. What better way?

5. Her parents will really appreciate the guy asking because it shows respect for her and for them. Especially if you ask their permission (or at least her dad's) first.

So is it bad for girls to be pursuing guys? I would say yes. I'd much rather have a guy who wants me and pursues me and be able to respond to that with a yes or no, than to constantly be pursuing a guy. Girls just aren't really made for pursuing they are made to be pursued. Girls can respond though. And I'm not trying to take away any rights... just put a new "old" idea out there. :)

For dating, this also means let the guy initiate things within the relationship. Let him contact the girl first. Let him ask for the dates. Its not bad to text the guy first occasionally, but the guy should be doing the majority of the initiating.

This doesn't just apply to dating though! This applies to friendships too! Guys, if you are friends with a girl, don't always expect her to contact you first. Girls, don't always be contacting the guy first. Let him be the man we know God made him to be and let him lead.

Side note for the guys: this does not mean you stop being a gentleman and being chivalrous! Girls should go first through doors, you should be holding it, you should be letting her go first in those ways. But for initiating things, that is your job! Go be the leader and lead her closer to God! And know there are girls out there praying for a man who will be a leader.

Girls: Be praying for the guys you know to grow into the strong leaders God can mold them into! The power of prayer is an amazing thing.

God bless,


Friday, February 15, 2013

Important note for readers!

IMPORTANT NOTE! Please remember that if you're reading this blog, these are my thoughts and my perspectives. I'm not writing at anyone, I'm just sharing my own thoughts and hoping to put a different perspective out there or maybe back up your feelings/ideas. So please, don't feel like I'm preaching at anyone, or trying to force anyone to do anything. These are simply things I'm learning myself by reading, researching, and asking a bunch of questions. :) So know that I care about you guys/girls and in no way want to hurt you. Ok? Kay, good. Just double checking. :) If the subject applies to you... then awesome! That's so cool that God can use my words in your life. If not, then I hope you can take something new out of my opinions. :)

God bless,

Thursday, February 14, 2013

How To Find... The ONE!

Happy Valentines Day!!! :) Today is a day to celebrate the "L" word! Yep! LOVE! Crazy, amazing, confusing, mushy, cute, and silly love. Now I know some of you might be tempted to just quit reading this now. DONT! I promise this isnt really about Valentines day. Its just the intro into my topic of choice for the day! And I've been waiting to write about it for a long time! This was actually going to be my first post when I started blogging again... but I decided it fit very well for Valentines Day. haha Kay! Now that I've explained... back to introducing. Ok. So whether you are single, dating, or married, you want the same thing... love. You want that one special person to love for the rest of your earthly life and to make you feel loved and important. How do you find that one? Any of you know?

You have a list and you compare them to it? Nope! Well yes... you need to have standards, but the only one that is a full requirement is that they love God will all their heart, with all their soul, and with all their mind. But that's not how you find the "one"... its how you eliminate the ones that aren't even going into your "consideration" circle.

First off! You can choose who you want to date and marry! Crazy! But God did give us free will. On the other hand... He already knows who that is... so really there is one out there! But how do you find the "one"? Out of the crazy amounts of people in the world and all the amazing wonderful people you know, how do you know if they are the "one"? I've been doing a lot of looking into this in the past 6 months to a year, and I've learned a lot. So here's some of the things I've been learning and growing in.

Well first off lets look at that question! When you look at it closely... and you examine your intentions behind it... are you really thinking "how do I find a person who will fulfill my needs the best"? Ok... so thats a selfish question! "Hmmm... but Breanna, I still want to marry someone who will fulfill all my needs!" Ok. Well what are your needs going to be in 10 years? 5 years? 1 year? You don't know?! WHAT!? But how do you find the person who will meet your needs when you have no clue what they will be?!

OH! hold up! I know! You ready for this? It's going to smack you in the face with how obvious it is... God knows. Sorry... its so cliche but its also so incredibly true. Please don't be annoyed that the answer is so obvious. It was obvious for me too but I didnt recognize it, and that's why I'm sharing. anyways...  God knows your needs now, your needs in 1 year, your needs in 5 years, your needs in 10 years, your needs in 20 years, your needs in 50 years, etc... God knows exactly what you will need every moment of every day of your earthly life. Now, we know God is loving. We know He loves us. We know He died for us to take care of our need for a savior. If He would die for us... dont you think He will provide for us in other ways too? If He loved us enough for His Son to die for us, dont you think He would care about who we love on Earth? I do.

 So how do you find that "one"? You stop focusing on what you think you'll need, and instead focus on what you will be able to give. Instead of (or as well as) having a list of what you want in your future husband/wife, maybe make a list of what you need to be as a husband/wife. Here are some things to help you start on that.

1st Corinthians 13 talks all about what Love is. Work on becoming those things yourself.
Patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not dishonoring to others, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeping no record of wrongs (grudges), not delighting in evil, but rejoicing in truth. Always protecting, always trusting, always hoping, and always persevering.

And as you work on those things, if you are single, then please know that God has a plan for you! He knows your heart and your needs, and He will provide for you in His perfect timing. If you are in a relationship and you are still wondering if they are the perfect "one" ask yourself this "Did I pray about this before I asked them out/said yes to going out with them?" if you did then you're on the right track! Then ask yourself this "Are they living for God and seeking His will first?" if yes then ask if they fit all your deal breaker requirements and fit with your future goals and lifestyle. If they do... then they might just be the "one". Keep praying about it. Keep seeking God! He knows your needs! He brought that person into your life for a reason. :) And if you feel worried about "settling" for someone, please read my post about it and follow the links below that post. ( )

So today as you wonder about your "one"... start wondering how you can become the right "one" for someone else and how you can love them and God better. And know that God has all of your needs covered. Dont worry, dont fret, dont panic, and dont run. God's got this!! He is the creator of love... He's got you covered.

God Bless,


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Be Careful Little Lips What You Say

"Oh be careful little lips what you say. For the Father up above is looking down in love, oh be careful little lips what you say."

Have you ever stopped to think that what you say can change a persons life? No, really! Your words can completely change a persons life. Still not sure? Well let me give you an example or two:

A man walks into his boss' office. He has been working at the company for about 4 years now and he has a wife and 2 young kids. His wife stays home with the children because he has been making enough money to allow for her to stay home. His boss says, "I'm sorry, but we are going to have to let you go. We have to do cut backs on your floor and you are the newest one to that area." BAM! Those words completely changed that man's entire life.

How about a girl on the day of her wedding. She's got her hair done, her dress on, and is ready to walk down the isle, when her groom appears at the door. He tells her that he cant do this and he doesn't really love her and that he's leaving. Her world is changed. What was supposed to be her dream day, turned into a nightmare because of his words.

While those examples are pretty dramatic and major, they are proof that words affect others. Even things you say without thinking they will really affect someone, might actually really impact them, either for good or for bad.

James warns us of the power of our words when he says, "Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." (James 3:5-6)

I know I used this verse in a previous post about swearing and stuff, but this time, I'm going to apply it to a different part of your life (and mine). Bible verses can apply to all parts of your life, and when it comes to the tongue and words, that is part of all aspects of our life. Lets look a little bit further down the passage and see what James says.
"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers (and sisters), this should not be." (James 3:9-10)
Hmm... how can we be praising God, but hurting others, and still think that its ok? It isn't.

Ok, now think of a time where someone hurt you with their words. Do you think they purposely were out to hurt you? Some of them might have been, but others might have been by accident. Now think about things you have said that might  have hurt other people. Did you purposely go out to hurt them? Unless you were being super spiteful, you probably weren't out to hurt the other person.
What are some ways you can think of that you hurt other people with your words or you have been hurt by other peoples words? I'll give you my list to help you think some through.
Gossip- I know, its so normal! Everyone gossips, so why shouldn't I? Well God calls us to build one another up. "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." 1st Thessalonians 5:11. Gossip breaks people down...
Sarcasm- even used in fun, I personally find that sarcasm is hurtful and kinda rude. Again, build one another up. Sarcasm tears them down.
Abuse- Verbal and emotional abuse tend to go hand in hand. I know girls who have been told that they are fat, that they are ugly, that they are too tall, or too short, or not pretty enough or just plain out not beautiful. How about my friends that have been told they aren't lovable? Or what about dramatic? Or too needy? Not good enough? Has this affected them? Umm... YES!!! They have next to no confidence left, even though they are some of the most gorgeous amazing God loving girls that I know. Did the people who told them that build them up? Nope, not at all. Their words destroyed. And this goes both ways. Verbal and emotional abuse happens to both guys, and girls. Please guard your words!! And please know that God made each of you in His image and you are all perfect! God does not make mistakes, no matter what anyone on earth says. He is God, He made you perfect.
Criticism- ok, not all criticism is bad. Constructive criticism is good, and it can help people a lot too. However, before you criticize other people, double check yourself. Please don't go up to people and tell them everything they are doing wrong... that will hurt them more than you can imagine. Instead, look at yourself and figure out what you are doing wrong. If you really need to address it, do not go in a blame it all on them or say that they are doing this, this, this, this, and this wrong or that they are this, this, this, this, and this and you're not ok with it. Instead... approach it with love, humility, and grace. Instead of saying you dont like the things that they are doing or those certain things about them, say that you are feeling *insert feeling here* and you would like to work on it together and maybe try *insert idea here*. Take note that how you word things will change how the person will receive it. If you tell them all the things they are doing wrong... they will be really hurt. If you say that something is making you feel a certain way and you'd like to try it a different way, it might hurt them, but it will hurt a WHOLE lot less.

So when you really think of it... all your words should be building each other up. They should be pleasing for God's children and for God. All humans are God's children and deserve to be treated as such. So in your every day life, how are your words changing people? How are they showing God? How are they building others up? If they aren't, then maybe you need to be spending time in God's word and in prayer asking Him to guard your words so that only pleasing things come from your mouth.

Speak blessings not curses on your brothers and sisters in Christ. Go forth and continue to build one another up and make each other stronger for Him.


Friday, February 8, 2013

Not Against Flesh And Blood

Today, my heart is reminded to put on the Armor of God. As I face the struggles of every day life, it becomes overwhelming for me when I try to stand alone. But I don't have to stand and face a battle alone, God has already won it, I just have to protect myself while I wait to go to my forever home. So while thinking about it, I decided today to write about something most of you may not think of that often, but that's going on every day of your lives. Spiritual warfare.
What is it?
Basically, there are two sides. God's side, and Satan's side. Every single person is being fought over, for their eternal soul. Yep, that includes you! However, when you live for God and choose to stand on His side of the battle and not in the cross fire, then you become a target for Satan's destruction. Because you are on the side that already won the battle and because you are standing strong, Satan does not like it. He hates when your light shines bright. So what does he do? He tries to discourage you. To break you down. To destroy your faith and shatter your light.
Sometimes it happens in big things... such as major negative events getting thrown at you that you have no control over but that make you depressed, upset, frustrated, or mad at God. You may want to do things on your own, which weakens you. Other times it happens in smaller less noticeable ways that build up until your life feels out of control. Once you're stressed out, Satan plants little lies all around you to bring you down.

Easy ways to recognize that you are being attacked:
Everything good you try to do ends up back firing or something major pops up and tries to stop it.
You are struggling with un-explained depression.
Even when you know in your head things are going good, you feel like everything is out to get you.
The good things in your life, that are true, right, and good, suddenly feel weird and you doubt them.
You feel alone.
You stop being involved in Church/youth/ministry.

"Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed." John 3:20. When you oppose the darkness or try to bring light into the darkness, it will not want to let it happen or its true evil will be exposed.

How can I fight this?
You don't have to fight it. God already has and He won. You are saved. You just have to stand now. And to stand, God gives you the protection.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to STAND your ground, and after you have done everything, to STAND. STAND firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to tall this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the world of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:10-18

Put on your Armor of God! Stand firm! Pray constantly! And KNOW that you are safe! That even when the attacks come and the arrows fly at you, God will protect you and give you the strength to stand for Him. I encourage you to pray with other believers and to pray with your families, friends, and boyfriends/girlfriends. "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them" Matthew 18:20
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, once can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Stand together! Pick eachother up! Help eachother along! Be strong together! Stand for HIM!


Thursday, February 7, 2013

Guys VS Girls: how do you understand them?

And we are back! hurrah! I'm kinda loving blogging again :) Today's topic to cover is... how to understand guys and girls! Now... I'm a girl... so I'm probably going to explain more of the girl thing than the guy thing because frankly, guys confuse me to death. :P And knowing me... I probably confuse them to death too! (woops hehe) So lets dig into this!

About Girls:

Funny one, but one commonly asked... why do girls go to the bathroom in groups? 

Have you seen Harry Potter and all the things that happen to the girls in the bathrooms?! Its sooo not safe! :P Trolls, spells, curses, ect... On a more serious note, we do it because a) there are safety in numbers (who knows when a creep will be around?!) b) sometimes we're emotional and need the excuse to breath and have our friends stop us from freaking out c) we're girls... we like to be in groups. Guys, you may just never understand that.

How do you know if a girl likes you?

Umm... well... we will stand different around you. Better posture! We will want to talk to you and get to know you (its how we show that we care). We will probably touch your arm or your hand lightly when we talk to you. If you say something funny we will laugh... just to show you that we think you're funny (and kinda cute...).  More than likely we will play with our hair. Smile more often. Our voice might become a bit higher when we talk. Dont ask me why... I still dont understand it and I'm a girl... :P

About guys:

How come guys flip around so fast? First they like you, then they dont, then they do... ect... 

Funny thing... guys and girls are both growing and learning, and both of them get confused. As much as guys will deny it, they also have to deal with hormone changes. They also might be struggling with the stress from school, family, friends, sports, or other more personal internal struggles. It may be one thing or a combination of things. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you, they just are struggling with something and need time/space to work it out! Thats totally ok too! :) Just make sure that you respect that. (again, with the respect) And remember, girls, you do this too! Give them grace because you expect grace back from them.


Why do girls tend to talk more and guys less? Are girls just clingy and guys complete introverts or what?

Strangely enough, this is something that either works super well or terribly bad. For the girl part of this, why do they talk so much, its because well... we're girls! We talk to show we care. Its probably one of the top love languages for most girls. Most girls don't intend to come off as clingy, they just want to show they care and they want to know you. Some of them may actually be clingy (no, its not a good thing), but the majority of girls just want to care and show it, but don't really know how to. There are some girls who are quiet though, and thats ok too!
For the guys' part in this, there are some guys who LOVE to talk! They just enjoy it. There are others who are more the quiet type though. They aren't really introverts, and they like to talk, but they need their space.

How do they fit together? Well... basically they communicate their needs to eachother! The guy tells the girl when he needs space or the girl tells the guy when she needs space, and they try to be sure they are serving the other persons needs too. Remember! Girls and guys are so different (normally) when it comes to talking! But if you are in a relationship... communication is key! Really, it is. Just talk to eachother and tell eachother your needs! It helps :) If you dont, then one of you will either give too much and not get enough, or one will become super annoyed, or both! But please, do not be needy... that gets old... fast :P

How do you know what they want?

Girls: Basically as a girl, we want to be loved! In ways, we want the exact same thing as guys. We want to be loved, feel unique beautiful and wonderful, belong, and have stability. However, as much as we also want respect, we desire to be loved almost more. Silly in some ways... but part of what makes us the "lovey/mushy/sweet" half. :P (sorry guys)
Guys: Guys want to be respected! Crazy I know, but a guy really values a girl's respect and the respect of those around him. Guys do want to belong and to be loved and feel wanted, but unless you respect their masculinity while doing it... they wont be too impressed.

In all honestly, girls and guys want the same thing. To live, to love, and to be loved in return. They just seek it in different ways.

Now it is my bed time... so I hope you enjoy the post and it helps you understand a little tiny bit into the lives of guys and girls. :) Remember... God understands us, even when we dont!

God Bless!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Things to do and NEVER do while dating someone.

So this... could be a funny post! I'm going to try to make it fun, simple, but true! And this isn't just from my experience, this is from me talking to other people too! :) So here's the list of things to do and  NEVER to do while dating someone!
1. First date... GUYS PAY! Sounds silly, but hey! He should be the one to ask you out (I will post about that later) so for the first date, he should pay!
2. After the first date... don't expect the guy to pay for everything! Go dutch or ladies, treat him sometimes! :) Guys I know you like to pay because it makes you feel super amazing (I don't understand that...) but let her treat you to some things. Just like you want to make her feel special, she wants you to know that you're pretty amazing too. The guys can still treat but girls don't just expect it.
3. Don't be dating the person unless you like just them! Or else its just really not fair. How would you feel if someone did that to you?! (It hurts... trust me!)
4. No one is perfect, so don't expect them to be! They are going to mess up so be willing to talk and work it out.
5. Do NOT EVER (no seriously... never ever!) hold back from being honest about something in the relationship that is bugging you. It will build up, then it will start feeling wrong, and you'll get all confused. If you are honest about it, without blaming the other person for the problem, then you can work on it together and figure it out.
6. Don't expect them to get you the moon, stars, and sun. They have a life too and can't always be doing stuff for you. Instead, look to what you can do for them. Serve them as Jesus served us.
7. Don't expect it to be a cake-walk! Seriously though, do not think its just all going to magically fall into place because you're "meant to be". Relationships take work and lots of it. Be willing to work at it, or you're not ready to be in a relationship.
8. Do not spend forever talking to someone you know while you're out with your date. Seriously, that's rude! You're out to be with them, not talking to someone else. If you are both talking then you can talk for a little, but remember... you're on a date!
9. Chew with your mouth closed! Seriously... see-food is gross. (coughguyscough)
10. Realize that guys and girls have different ways of showing that they care. Girls like to talk and show that they care by talking. Guys may not be like this and may not see what the girl is trying to do, other than that she's talking CONSTANTLY! Guys, if it bugs you, just tell her that you are going to need space at certain times and its not that you don't want to talk to her, but that you have other things you have to do too. She truly isn't trying to come off as clingy or needy, she's trying to show you that she cares. So be nice, be conscious of the fact you can easily hurt her with your words (words=girls way of caring/feeling cared for), and tell her honestly when you need space. Don't just get annoyed and ditch, she will think she did something horrible and be pretty miserable.
11. Do not spend a ton of time completely alone together. You want to stay pure until you are married? Well stats say that if a couple spends 300 hours alone, they will end up doing stuff. Instead of spending time truly alone, be "alone" in a super public place where you have the accountability of people around you. Be wise and guard yourself and your boyfriend/girlfriend.
12. Do be sweet! :) I mean, seriously... you're dating them! You're allowed to be mushy and cute! Just please... no PDA! That's just gross! Holding hands sure... but make-out sessions and feeling eachother up is NOT ok... even when you're alone! just... no!
13. Do guard your heart! "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23 This verse is so very very important! Your life (your thoughts, desires, dreams, feelings, everything) is part of where your heart is. If your heart is guarded and kept safe in God, then that is where your love will be. When you are married you can un-guard your heart, but until then, be wise and keep your heart hidden in God.
14. whatever you do, do not believe the lie that the world is saying that its ok to do stuff with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is NOT ok. "Flee from sexual immorality! All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefor honor God with your body." 1st Corinthians 6:13-17 Side note... sending pictures is still sexual sin. And it is extremely degrading to yourself and the other person. If you struggle with this or any form of sexual sin, please talk to someone who can keep you accountable and help you to break that habit. God will forgive you, but He calls you to a life of purity. Seek to follow that.
15. Pray together! This is a way of surrendering your relationship to God and trusting Him to help you. It is also recognizing that God is the most important part of your relationship and that you seek your emotional fulfillment from Him, not the person your dating.
16. Keep your friends! Do not become so enamored with your relationship that you ditch all your friends. You cant center your entire life around one person, you need to have friends and a life outside of your dating relationship for that relationship to be healthy.
17. COMMUNICATE! I KNOW this is hard for a lot of you guys, but this is soooo so so important! I can not stress enough how important this is. Please, communicate with eachother! Be honest! Be open! Be gentle! Be humble! Serve eachother! But TALK! For goodness sake, if something is bugging you SPIT IT OUT! :P Its not fair to either of you to hold it in and then find that you're feeling something is wrong or that its just getting to be too much to handle. Talk it out! Its hard, but it is worth it. Side note again! When you notice something that bugs you or is wrong... please be careful when you talk to the other person about it so that it doesn't come across like its all their fault, they're not good enough, or anything like that. Because that really hurts and you don't want to hurt them. 
18. Try! Don't take the easy way out or end things without actually trying. The worst thing to do is not to try. If you try, you seek God, and you work your hardest to make it work, but it doesn't work out, then I guess that God has another plan for you. But to quit without trying... that's not ok. Remember to look for the qualities I mentioned in the last post! If they are not living for God, then it wont work out, but if they are and you're not trying, then please think about why you're willing not to try. God called you to do your best in everything, that includes your relationships. Side note! If their future goals dont line up with yours, that is also a big indicator that things may not work. But if they do... try!
19. Do NOT fart, burp, or any other disgusting bodily noise in your girlfriends face! SERIOUSLY!? guys... that's just plain gross! I'm sure you seem extremely attractive after that...
20. Girls, dress modestly! Remember to protect your man! His heart needs to be set on God, but its hard when his eyes are on your body! Help him out!
21. Acknowledge God. "In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6. Keep in mind that the path to God is narrow and not well traveled. Sometimes you might have to walk through some hard things, but when you acknowledge God, He makes your path straight and will set you towards Him. this includes the path you walk in your relationship. :)
22. (added on) Do not ditch when you get mad/annoyed. It will hurt the other person! They probably didn't mean to annoy your or hurt you, so explain that that hurt/made you mad but do not hurt them back. That's not fair either.

Now... enjoy the tips! laugh at them... put them to use! Add more in the comments if you'd like! And know that there are others out there seeking to have Godly relationships too! you are not alone on your walk to God! :)

God bless!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Are you settling in your relationship? How do you find that perfect someone?

So I'm back to blogging... I really missed it actually! I love being able to share the things I learn with all of you. Right now I'm learning that... YOU WILL NEVER FIND THE "PERFECT" PERSON! shocker!! Please don't be upset with me for saying that! But its true! "But why, Breanna? How can that be true? Doesn't God have a "perfect" person for me?" Well, I'm glad you asked! Here's some things I've learned by reading, researching, and experience.

Now don't get me wrong, God intended man and woman to be together, not alone! "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27 He created man and woman to be together, He said it was not good for man to be alone. Alone man was ok. Man was missing something... that is why God created woman. To be with man so that man is not alone. That is how God designed us, so don't doubt that you were created to be with someone. God created you to be together.

Ever think about how many songs or how many movies have been written about people finding their "soul mate"? How many people are out there searching for their perfect match who will complete every part of them? Bad news... there's no such thing! I know... I burst another bubble! But this is good news too! It means that hey, maybe... there isnt just ONE person you're compatible with? Maybe God made you to choose? :) SEE! That's good news! You can choose, but you're probably wondering how right? Well first off we need to cover some things. The negotiable and non negotiable traits you want! So here we go!

Looks aren't everything! Oh hey! He's totally a 9 out of 10 on the hotness scale! Oh my goodness! Did you see her body?! She's like... a 10! I HAVE to meet her! I'm going to marry her. Ummm yeah! That doesnt work! :P You cant see a person and marry them based on attraction! A persons good looks doesnt mean they are truly handsome or beautiful! There are so many other important factors in a relationship! Some of the things you want from a relationship or in a relationship are negotiable and some of them aren't. How can you figure out which is which? Well... we can look at what God says about what a Christian man or woman should be to be forever material.
Proverbs 31 indicates things that a man should look for in a woman that he wants to spend forever with.
Does it mention that she has a perfect body?
Does it mention that she has to like sports or video games?
Does it mention that she has to say this or not say that to you?
nope! It mentions that she has to live her life for God. If she is truly living her life for God and seeking Him in all ways, then she is forever material, and a lot of the little things like I mentioned above will be able to be worked out.
Titus 1:6-9, talks about the qualities of elders, but this also is a list you can apply for finding a man who is truly seeking God and will therefore be a man you could spend forever with.
Does it mention anything about him needing to be taller than you?
Older than you?
Super good looking?
Does it say he NEEDS to take you to the new movie you want to see?
nope! It talks more that he needs to be a man after God. Because if he is truly living for God then those little things really wont be super duper uber important!

"I'm worried that I'm settling with them though. What if there's someone better? What if I can find a 10 in looks instead of an 8?" Alright... so lets talk about settling now! No one wants to think they are settling for something when they could have better, especially within their relationships.
First: settling brings on a selfish mind set. Really, when you think about it, you are thinking "what can this person give me" instead of thinking "how can I serve this person and love them how God loves me". Dating and marriage aren't supposed to just be about getting your needs fulfilled (though that is important that they are able to support you and vise versa). Dating and marriage are a form of servanthood. Jesus gave us that example when He came to earth to serve us. He healed us, fed us, loved us, cared for us, taught us, and ultimately died for us. How easy would it have been for Him to just say nope, they aren't serving me so I'm not going to save them. Yeah, He totally could have done that! But guess what! He didn't! He came to SERVE us! That is what dating and marriage is about! Serving the other person and giving to them. Anyways! Back on topic! Settling! Marriage isnt going to be a walk in the park! Neither is dating! You are both humans. You are both going to mess up. You will end up hurting. You will end up frustrated. Does it matter if the person is a 10 or a 3 on the scale when both people are human? probably not! What does matter are the qualities in the previously mentioned verses. If you look for those qualities you are not settling... you are settling down. To live in the relationship God gave you. It will take work! You're going to have to try all the way from being friends through dating, marriage and right till the end. You are going to have to pray to be a servant (I know it sounds weird) and pray that God will help and guide you as you walk through your journey either as a single looking for someone, as a newly dating couple, as an engaged couple, or as a married couple.

To add some fun to this post... here are 5 things you can do to find the right type of person! :)
1. Have a love roll model! have a couple you can model your relationship after! if it takes looking to find someone... then look!
2. Realize that love and lust are two different things! Love isn't about the physical aspects... Love comes in the form of a servant.
3. Remember to have a life!! Don't throw away everything for one person, have a life outside of them too. The fact that you have a healthy well rounded life will be attractive :)
4. Let God grow your definition of love. What you thought about true love 5 years ago is different than what you think now and will be different than what you think 5 years from now! Let God help to grow your love.
5. BE OPTIMISTIC! Being down about a relationship and stuff isnt going to help you find the right person.. it might just scare them off. :P

Anyways! Good luck in your adventures with relationship! And remember to seek God in all you do! :)

God Bless,