Are you settling in your relationship? How do you find that perfect someone?

So I'm back to blogging... I really missed it actually! I love being able to share the things I learn with all of you. Right now I'm learning that... YOU WILL NEVER FIND THE "PERFECT" PERSON! shocker!! Please don't be upset with me for saying that! But its true! "But why, Breanna? How can that be true? Doesn't God have a "perfect" person for me?" Well, I'm glad you asked! Here's some things I've learned by reading, researching, and experience.

Now don't get me wrong, God intended man and woman to be together, not alone! "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27 He created man and woman to be together, He said it was not good for man to be alone. Alone man was ok. Man was missing something... that is why God created woman. To be with man so that man is not alone. That is how God designed us, so don't doubt that you were created to be with someone. God created you to be together.

Ever think about how many songs or how many movies have been written about people finding their "soul mate"? How many people are out there searching for their perfect match who will complete every part of them? Bad news... there's no such thing! I know... I burst another bubble! But this is good news too! It means that hey, maybe... there isnt just ONE person you're compatible with? Maybe God made you to choose? :) SEE! That's good news! You can choose, but you're probably wondering how right? Well first off we need to cover some things. The negotiable and non negotiable traits you want! So here we go!

Looks aren't everything! Oh hey! He's totally a 9 out of 10 on the hotness scale! Oh my goodness! Did you see her body?! She's like... a 10! I HAVE to meet her! I'm going to marry her. Ummm yeah! That doesnt work! :P You cant see a person and marry them based on attraction! A persons good looks doesnt mean they are truly handsome or beautiful! There are so many other important factors in a relationship! Some of the things you want from a relationship or in a relationship are negotiable and some of them aren't. How can you figure out which is which? Well... we can look at what God says about what a Christian man or woman should be to be forever material.
Proverbs 31 indicates things that a man should look for in a woman that he wants to spend forever with. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs%2031:%2010-31&version=NIV
Does it mention that she has a perfect body?
Does it mention that she has to like sports or video games?
Does it mention that she has to say this or not say that to you?
nope! It mentions that she has to live her life for God. If she is truly living her life for God and seeking Him in all ways, then she is forever material, and a lot of the little things like I mentioned above will be able to be worked out.
Titus 1:6-9, talks about the qualities of elders, but this also is a list you can apply for finding a man who is truly seeking God and will therefore be a man you could spend forever with. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Titus%201:6-9&version=NIV
Does it mention anything about him needing to be taller than you?
Older than you?
Super good looking?
Does it say he NEEDS to take you to the new movie you want to see?
nope! It talks more that he needs to be a man after God. Because if he is truly living for God then those little things really wont be super duper uber important!

"I'm worried that I'm settling with them though. What if there's someone better? What if I can find a 10 in looks instead of an 8?" Alright... so lets talk about settling now! No one wants to think they are settling for something when they could have better, especially within their relationships.
First: settling brings on a selfish mind set. Really, when you think about it, you are thinking "what can this person give me" instead of thinking "how can I serve this person and love them how God loves me". Dating and marriage aren't supposed to just be about getting your needs fulfilled (though that is important that they are able to support you and vise versa). Dating and marriage are a form of servanthood. Jesus gave us that example when He came to earth to serve us. He healed us, fed us, loved us, cared for us, taught us, and ultimately died for us. How easy would it have been for Him to just say nope, they aren't serving me so I'm not going to save them. Yeah, He totally could have done that! But guess what! He didn't! He came to SERVE us! That is what dating and marriage is about! Serving the other person and giving to them. Anyways! Back on topic! Settling! Marriage isnt going to be a walk in the park! Neither is dating! You are both humans. You are both going to mess up. You will end up hurting. You will end up frustrated. Does it matter if the person is a 10 or a 3 on the scale when both people are human? probably not! What does matter are the qualities in the previously mentioned verses. If you look for those qualities you are not settling... you are settling down. To live in the relationship God gave you. It will take work! You're going to have to try all the way from being friends through dating, marriage and right till the end. You are going to have to pray to be a servant (I know it sounds weird) and pray that God will help and guide you as you walk through your journey either as a single looking for someone, as a newly dating couple, as an engaged couple, or as a married couple.

To add some fun to this post... here are 5 things you can do to find the right type of person! :)
1. Have a love roll model! have a couple you can model your relationship after! if it takes looking to find someone... then look!
2. Realize that love and lust are two different things! Love isn't about the physical aspects... Love comes in the form of a servant.
3. Remember to have a life!! Don't throw away everything for one person, have a life outside of them too. The fact that you have a healthy well rounded life will be attractive :)
4. Let God grow your definition of love. What you thought about true love 5 years ago is different than what you think now and will be different than what you think 5 years from now! Let God help to grow your love.
5. BE OPTIMISTIC! Being down about a relationship and stuff isnt going to help you find the right person.. it might just scare them off. :P

Anyways! Good luck in your adventures with relationship! And remember to seek God in all you do! :)

God Bless,
Breanna