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Thursday, February 21, 2013

End of the Rope

So right now, I feel like I've reached the end of my rope. I'm falling to my knees in exhaustion, discouragement, and surrender. I can't handle any more. Everything that could possible go wrong has or is going wrong. The crazing amazing things that I know God brought into my life or blessed me with are being messed around with by the devil and keep turning around and hurting instead of encouraging me or moving me forward. I feel worn out trying to stay positive in all of this darkness. I really am at the end of my rope clinging to the ends while it frays in my hands. I know, it sounds terrible. But I wanted you guys to know that you're not alone in facing troubles. You're not alone in feeling down. So I want to take this time to encourage you and remind us both of God's promises to us as His beloved children.

Philippians 4:19 says "And my God will meet all of your needs according to His glorious riches in Jesus Christ." Notice that it says ALL of your needs. Not just some, not just parts, but ALL of them. God will meet you where you're at and fulfill all of your needs.

John 16:33 says "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! For I have overcome the world!" Jesus even says that we will have trouble, but He also promises us that He has overcome the world. Christ is alive still, He overcame death to save us. He will help us through the craziness of life.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4 God will keep us in perfect peace when we trust in Him. He is eternal, He is the Lord and He is our Rock through the times of trouble and hardship.

"God is our refuge and strength, our ever present help in times of trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, even in the times of trouble. As the things on earth go terribly wrong, and the whole world seems to be falling apart, God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and strengthen us to endure the hardships we face.

Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." You starting to pick up on the theme here? God is our strength, He will help us, so why would we fear our be dismayed?

"Cast ALL your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1st Peter 5:7 Cast all that anxiety, stress, worry, fear, all of it, onto God, because He cares for us. He knows our needs, He will provide, He will meet us where we are, He will strengthen us, He loves us.

So what do you do when you don't have the strength left to hang onto the rope? What do you do when your strength is failing? Well, you fall to your knees, you PRAY! You spend time in His word finding encouragement. You get back up. You hold onto that rope, and you KNOW that God will give you the strength to persevere and face the next day, the next hour, and the next minute. Because we know His promises and we KNOW He cares for us. Even when we are walking through the darkness, God is our light.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119:105

Even with all that's going on, all the hard things you face, all the challenges that get thrown at you, God is your refuge and your strength. Lean on Him and you can make it through anything.

He is my refuge, He is my strength, He is my rock, He is my help, He is my deliverer  He is my healer, He is my savior, He is my love, and He is my God. In HIM alone will I find what I need.

God bless,

Monday, February 18, 2013

Trust Me- God

Right now there is so much going on in a lot of your lives. Some of you are facing divorce in your family. Death of a loved one. Depression. Disabilities. Sickness. Anger. Hurt. And so much more. I know some (not all) of those things I'm dealing with too and it's really hard. It's hard to be joyful and not let everything get me down. Its hard to not let things get to me. Its hard not to feel alone in my struggles. And sometimes its really hard to trust that God has a plan... but the cool thing is that He does. And that is what I'm going to talk about today. Trusting God even through all those insanely hard things that keep pulling you down.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying "what shall we eat?" or "what shall we drink?" or "what shall we wear?"" Matthew 6:25-31

God tells us not to be anxious about the things going on in our lives, but to TRUST Him, because He will provide for all of our needs, just as He does for the birds, and the flowers. Why?

"For great is His steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 117:2

Even during all those hard things, God's faithfulness will never leave. He will always be with us and always help us through. And when we are afraid we can be assured that He is with us.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:3-5

"So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" " Hebrews 13:6

"Those who TRUST in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever." Psalm 125:1

While I can't tell you that those things will get any easier. That the burden will lift, or the pain ease, I can tell you that there is a God who asks you to trust Him and who will carry your burden for you.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Trust that God will hold you, even in your darkest days. He is always with you and loves you with a never ending, unconditional, supernatural, all encompassing love. And finally

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

May God bless you and may you feel Him holding you no matter what is going on in your life.


ADD ON! Practical ways to apply this!

Whenever you are feeling down or having a hard time trusting God, have a verse that you can bring to mind and draw hope from.
Listen to worship music!
Praise God! I know its hard when everything feels so down, but He is still worthy of our praises. Look at David's example in Psalms. :)

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Ladies first?

So today I'm going to cover a semi-controversial issue. Who should be pursuing who? Girls pursuing guys? Or guys pursuing girls? Which way is right? What's God's opinion on it? Does He have an opinion on it? You ready for this? Lets dig into it.

I've been reading a lot lately about dating, marriage, courtship, and being friends. (You can thank my parents for doing a talk on that, because it made me curious as to what people were saying about it and how all that they say really fits into my life). One of the common themes seems to be about pursuing and why it should be done a certain way even in just friends.

So now a days its extremely common for girls to go after guys they want. They become the pursuers instead of letting guys pursue them. More and more often girls are the ones to text/call a guy first, ask him to hang out, ask him out on dates, initiate anything physical, and they are even pressuring guys into doing stuff. This is so different than before when girls wouldn't even talk to a guy unless he approached her first. Not saying that that was completely good, but relationships seemed to be a bit different and have higher chances of lasting and being fulfilling when the guys approached the girls first. Why? Well... lets look at some reasons why guys should be initiating things with girls.

1. Man was created first. "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

2. Woman was created for man, because it was not good for man to be alone. (Gen 2) Again, emphasizing that man was created first.

3. Man was given the opportunity to find a help-mate, in other words he got to choose, but he couldn't find one suitable hence why woman was made. (Gen 2)

4. Men are the leaders of the family, but also the spiritual leaders of a home. "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

Alright, so those are some Biblical reasons why guys should be initiating. Seems pretty logical hey? But here are some others that I have come up with.

1. It makes the guy risk it. If the guy risks it, he will be more likely to stick around or want to work through things because he wanted it enough to risk asking in the first place.

2. It shows that he believes the girl is worth the risk.

3. It is proven that relationships that are initiated by the guy are actually more satisfying because he had/has to work for her.

4. Guys like a challenge... girls like to be pursued. What better way?

5. Her parents will really appreciate the guy asking because it shows respect for her and for them. Especially if you ask their permission (or at least her dad's) first.

So is it bad for girls to be pursuing guys? I would say yes. I'd much rather have a guy who wants me and pursues me and be able to respond to that with a yes or no, than to constantly be pursuing a guy. Girls just aren't really made for pursuing they are made to be pursued. Girls can respond though. And I'm not trying to take away any rights... just put a new "old" idea out there. :)

For dating, this also means let the guy initiate things within the relationship. Let him contact the girl first. Let him ask for the dates. Its not bad to text the guy first occasionally, but the guy should be doing the majority of the initiating.

This doesn't just apply to dating though! This applies to friendships too! Guys, if you are friends with a girl, don't always expect her to contact you first. Girls, don't always be contacting the guy first. Let him be the man we know God made him to be and let him lead.

Side note for the guys: this does not mean you stop being a gentleman and being chivalrous! Girls should go first through doors, you should be holding it, you should be letting her go first in those ways. But for initiating things, that is your job! Go be the leader and lead her closer to God! And know there are girls out there praying for a man who will be a leader.

Girls: Be praying for the guys you know to grow into the strong leaders God can mold them into! The power of prayer is an amazing thing.

God bless,


Friday, February 15, 2013

Important note for readers!

IMPORTANT NOTE! Please remember that if you're reading this blog, these are my thoughts and my perspectives. I'm not writing at anyone, I'm just sharing my own thoughts and hoping to put a different perspective out there or maybe back up your feelings/ideas. So please, don't feel like I'm preaching at anyone, or trying to force anyone to do anything. These are simply things I'm learning myself by reading, researching, and asking a bunch of questions. :) So know that I care about you guys/girls and in no way want to hurt you. Ok? Kay, good. Just double checking. :) If the subject applies to you... then awesome! That's so cool that God can use my words in your life. If not, then I hope you can take something new out of my opinions. :)

God bless,

Thursday, February 14, 2013

How To Find... The ONE!

Happy Valentines Day!!! :) Today is a day to celebrate the "L" word! Yep! LOVE! Crazy, amazing, confusing, mushy, cute, and silly love. Now I know some of you might be tempted to just quit reading this now. DONT! I promise this isnt really about Valentines day. Its just the intro into my topic of choice for the day! And I've been waiting to write about it for a long time! This was actually going to be my first post when I started blogging again... but I decided it fit very well for Valentines Day. haha Kay! Now that I've explained... back to introducing. Ok. So whether you are single, dating, or married, you want the same thing... love. You want that one special person to love for the rest of your earthly life and to make you feel loved and important. How do you find that one? Any of you know?

You have a list and you compare them to it? Nope! Well yes... you need to have standards, but the only one that is a full requirement is that they love God will all their heart, with all their soul, and with all their mind. But that's not how you find the "one"... its how you eliminate the ones that aren't even going into your "consideration" circle.

First off! You can choose who you want to date and marry! Crazy! But God did give us free will. On the other hand... He already knows who that is... so really there is one out there! But how do you find the "one"? Out of the crazy amounts of people in the world and all the amazing wonderful people you know, how do you know if they are the "one"? I've been doing a lot of looking into this in the past 6 months to a year, and I've learned a lot. So here's some of the things I've been learning and growing in.

Well first off lets look at that question! When you look at it closely... and you examine your intentions behind it... are you really thinking "how do I find a person who will fulfill my needs the best"? Ok... so thats a selfish question! "Hmmm... but Breanna, I still want to marry someone who will fulfill all my needs!" Ok. Well what are your needs going to be in 10 years? 5 years? 1 year? You don't know?! WHAT!? But how do you find the person who will meet your needs when you have no clue what they will be?!

OH! hold up! I know! You ready for this? It's going to smack you in the face with how obvious it is... God knows. Sorry... its so cliche but its also so incredibly true. Please don't be annoyed that the answer is so obvious. It was obvious for me too but I didnt recognize it, and that's why I'm sharing. anyways...  God knows your needs now, your needs in 1 year, your needs in 5 years, your needs in 10 years, your needs in 20 years, your needs in 50 years, etc... God knows exactly what you will need every moment of every day of your earthly life. Now, we know God is loving. We know He loves us. We know He died for us to take care of our need for a savior. If He would die for us... dont you think He will provide for us in other ways too? If He loved us enough for His Son to die for us, dont you think He would care about who we love on Earth? I do.

 So how do you find that "one"? You stop focusing on what you think you'll need, and instead focus on what you will be able to give. Instead of (or as well as) having a list of what you want in your future husband/wife, maybe make a list of what you need to be as a husband/wife. Here are some things to help you start on that.

1st Corinthians 13 talks all about what Love is. Work on becoming those things yourself.
Patient, kind, not envious, not boastful, not proud, not dishonoring to others, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeping no record of wrongs (grudges), not delighting in evil, but rejoicing in truth. Always protecting, always trusting, always hoping, and always persevering.

And as you work on those things, if you are single, then please know that God has a plan for you! He knows your heart and your needs, and He will provide for you in His perfect timing. If you are in a relationship and you are still wondering if they are the perfect "one" ask yourself this "Did I pray about this before I asked them out/said yes to going out with them?" if you did then you're on the right track! Then ask yourself this "Are they living for God and seeking His will first?" if yes then ask if they fit all your deal breaker requirements and fit with your future goals and lifestyle. If they do... then they might just be the "one". Keep praying about it. Keep seeking God! He knows your needs! He brought that person into your life for a reason. :) And if you feel worried about "settling" for someone, please read my post about it and follow the links below that post. ( )

So today as you wonder about your "one"... start wondering how you can become the right "one" for someone else and how you can love them and God better. And know that God has all of your needs covered. Dont worry, dont fret, dont panic, and dont run. God's got this!! He is the creator of love... He's got you covered.

God Bless,


Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Be Careful Little Lips What You Say

"Oh be careful little lips what you say. For the Father up above is looking down in love, oh be careful little lips what you say."

Have you ever stopped to think that what you say can change a persons life? No, really! Your words can completely change a persons life. Still not sure? Well let me give you an example or two:

A man walks into his boss' office. He has been working at the company for about 4 years now and he has a wife and 2 young kids. His wife stays home with the children because he has been making enough money to allow for her to stay home. His boss says, "I'm sorry, but we are going to have to let you go. We have to do cut backs on your floor and you are the newest one to that area." BAM! Those words completely changed that man's entire life.

How about a girl on the day of her wedding. She's got her hair done, her dress on, and is ready to walk down the isle, when her groom appears at the door. He tells her that he cant do this and he doesn't really love her and that he's leaving. Her world is changed. What was supposed to be her dream day, turned into a nightmare because of his words.

While those examples are pretty dramatic and major, they are proof that words affect others. Even things you say without thinking they will really affect someone, might actually really impact them, either for good or for bad.

James warns us of the power of our words when he says, "Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell." (James 3:5-6)

I know I used this verse in a previous post about swearing and stuff, but this time, I'm going to apply it to a different part of your life (and mine). Bible verses can apply to all parts of your life, and when it comes to the tongue and words, that is part of all aspects of our life. Lets look a little bit further down the passage and see what James says.
"With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers (and sisters), this should not be." (James 3:9-10)
Hmm... how can we be praising God, but hurting others, and still think that its ok? It isn't.

Ok, now think of a time where someone hurt you with their words. Do you think they purposely were out to hurt you? Some of them might have been, but others might have been by accident. Now think about things you have said that might  have hurt other people. Did you purposely go out to hurt them? Unless you were being super spiteful, you probably weren't out to hurt the other person.
What are some ways you can think of that you hurt other people with your words or you have been hurt by other peoples words? I'll give you my list to help you think some through.
Gossip- I know, its so normal! Everyone gossips, so why shouldn't I? Well God calls us to build one another up. "Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing." 1st Thessalonians 5:11. Gossip breaks people down...
Sarcasm- even used in fun, I personally find that sarcasm is hurtful and kinda rude. Again, build one another up. Sarcasm tears them down.
Abuse- Verbal and emotional abuse tend to go hand in hand. I know girls who have been told that they are fat, that they are ugly, that they are too tall, or too short, or not pretty enough or just plain out not beautiful. How about my friends that have been told they aren't lovable? Or what about dramatic? Or too needy? Not good enough? Has this affected them? Umm... YES!!! They have next to no confidence left, even though they are some of the most gorgeous amazing God loving girls that I know. Did the people who told them that build them up? Nope, not at all. Their words destroyed. And this goes both ways. Verbal and emotional abuse happens to both guys, and girls. Please guard your words!! And please know that God made each of you in His image and you are all perfect! God does not make mistakes, no matter what anyone on earth says. He is God, He made you perfect.
Criticism- ok, not all criticism is bad. Constructive criticism is good, and it can help people a lot too. However, before you criticize other people, double check yourself. Please don't go up to people and tell them everything they are doing wrong... that will hurt them more than you can imagine. Instead, look at yourself and figure out what you are doing wrong. If you really need to address it, do not go in a blame it all on them or say that they are doing this, this, this, this, and this wrong or that they are this, this, this, this, and this and you're not ok with it. Instead... approach it with love, humility, and grace. Instead of saying you dont like the things that they are doing or those certain things about them, say that you are feeling *insert feeling here* and you would like to work on it together and maybe try *insert idea here*. Take note that how you word things will change how the person will receive it. If you tell them all the things they are doing wrong... they will be really hurt. If you say that something is making you feel a certain way and you'd like to try it a different way, it might hurt them, but it will hurt a WHOLE lot less.

So when you really think of it... all your words should be building each other up. They should be pleasing for God's children and for God. All humans are God's children and deserve to be treated as such. So in your every day life, how are your words changing people? How are they showing God? How are they building others up? If they aren't, then maybe you need to be spending time in God's word and in prayer asking Him to guard your words so that only pleasing things come from your mouth.

Speak blessings not curses on your brothers and sisters in Christ. Go forth and continue to build one another up and make each other stronger for Him.


Friday, February 8, 2013

Not Against Flesh And Blood

Today, my heart is reminded to put on the Armor of God. As I face the struggles of every day life, it becomes overwhelming for me when I try to stand alone. But I don't have to stand and face a battle alone, God has already won it, I just have to protect myself while I wait to go to my forever home. So while thinking about it, I decided today to write about something most of you may not think of that often, but that's going on every day of your lives. Spiritual warfare.
What is it?
Basically, there are two sides. God's side, and Satan's side. Every single person is being fought over, for their eternal soul. Yep, that includes you! However, when you live for God and choose to stand on His side of the battle and not in the cross fire, then you become a target for Satan's destruction. Because you are on the side that already won the battle and because you are standing strong, Satan does not like it. He hates when your light shines bright. So what does he do? He tries to discourage you. To break you down. To destroy your faith and shatter your light.
Sometimes it happens in big things... such as major negative events getting thrown at you that you have no control over but that make you depressed, upset, frustrated, or mad at God. You may want to do things on your own, which weakens you. Other times it happens in smaller less noticeable ways that build up until your life feels out of control. Once you're stressed out, Satan plants little lies all around you to bring you down.

Easy ways to recognize that you are being attacked:
Everything good you try to do ends up back firing or something major pops up and tries to stop it.
You are struggling with un-explained depression.
Even when you know in your head things are going good, you feel like everything is out to get you.
The good things in your life, that are true, right, and good, suddenly feel weird and you doubt them.
You feel alone.
You stop being involved in Church/youth/ministry.

"Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed." John 3:20. When you oppose the darkness or try to bring light into the darkness, it will not want to let it happen or its true evil will be exposed.

How can I fight this?
You don't have to fight it. God already has and He won. You are saved. You just have to stand now. And to stand, God gives you the protection.

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to STAND your ground, and after you have done everything, to STAND. STAND firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to tall this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the world of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints." Ephesians 6:10-18

Put on your Armor of God! Stand firm! Pray constantly! And KNOW that you are safe! That even when the attacks come and the arrows fly at you, God will protect you and give you the strength to stand for Him. I encourage you to pray with other believers and to pray with your families, friends, and boyfriends/girlfriends. "For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them" Matthew 18:20
"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, once can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
Stand together! Pick eachother up! Help eachother along! Be strong together! Stand for HIM!


Thursday, February 7, 2013

Guys VS Girls: how do you understand them?

And we are back! hurrah! I'm kinda loving blogging again :) Today's topic to cover is... how to understand guys and girls! Now... I'm a girl... so I'm probably going to explain more of the girl thing than the guy thing because frankly, guys confuse me to death. :P And knowing me... I probably confuse them to death too! (woops hehe) So lets dig into this!

About Girls:

Funny one, but one commonly asked... why do girls go to the bathroom in groups? 

Have you seen Harry Potter and all the things that happen to the girls in the bathrooms?! Its sooo not safe! :P Trolls, spells, curses, ect... On a more serious note, we do it because a) there are safety in numbers (who knows when a creep will be around?!) b) sometimes we're emotional and need the excuse to breath and have our friends stop us from freaking out c) we're girls... we like to be in groups. Guys, you may just never understand that.

How do you know if a girl likes you?

Umm... well... we will stand different around you. Better posture! We will want to talk to you and get to know you (its how we show that we care). We will probably touch your arm or your hand lightly when we talk to you. If you say something funny we will laugh... just to show you that we think you're funny (and kinda cute...).  More than likely we will play with our hair. Smile more often. Our voice might become a bit higher when we talk. Dont ask me why... I still dont understand it and I'm a girl... :P

About guys:

How come guys flip around so fast? First they like you, then they dont, then they do... ect... 

Funny thing... guys and girls are both growing and learning, and both of them get confused. As much as guys will deny it, they also have to deal with hormone changes. They also might be struggling with the stress from school, family, friends, sports, or other more personal internal struggles. It may be one thing or a combination of things. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you, they just are struggling with something and need time/space to work it out! Thats totally ok too! :) Just make sure that you respect that. (again, with the respect) And remember, girls, you do this too! Give them grace because you expect grace back from them.


Why do girls tend to talk more and guys less? Are girls just clingy and guys complete introverts or what?

Strangely enough, this is something that either works super well or terribly bad. For the girl part of this, why do they talk so much, its because well... we're girls! We talk to show we care. Its probably one of the top love languages for most girls. Most girls don't intend to come off as clingy, they just want to show they care and they want to know you. Some of them may actually be clingy (no, its not a good thing), but the majority of girls just want to care and show it, but don't really know how to. There are some girls who are quiet though, and thats ok too!
For the guys' part in this, there are some guys who LOVE to talk! They just enjoy it. There are others who are more the quiet type though. They aren't really introverts, and they like to talk, but they need their space.

How do they fit together? Well... basically they communicate their needs to eachother! The guy tells the girl when he needs space or the girl tells the guy when she needs space, and they try to be sure they are serving the other persons needs too. Remember! Girls and guys are so different (normally) when it comes to talking! But if you are in a relationship... communication is key! Really, it is. Just talk to eachother and tell eachother your needs! It helps :) If you dont, then one of you will either give too much and not get enough, or one will become super annoyed, or both! But please, do not be needy... that gets old... fast :P

How do you know what they want?

Girls: Basically as a girl, we want to be loved! In ways, we want the exact same thing as guys. We want to be loved, feel unique beautiful and wonderful, belong, and have stability. However, as much as we also want respect, we desire to be loved almost more. Silly in some ways... but part of what makes us the "lovey/mushy/sweet" half. :P (sorry guys)
Guys: Guys want to be respected! Crazy I know, but a guy really values a girl's respect and the respect of those around him. Guys do want to belong and to be loved and feel wanted, but unless you respect their masculinity while doing it... they wont be too impressed.

In all honestly, girls and guys want the same thing. To live, to love, and to be loved in return. They just seek it in different ways.

Now it is my bed time... so I hope you enjoy the post and it helps you understand a little tiny bit into the lives of guys and girls. :) Remember... God understands us, even when we dont!

God Bless!

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Things to do and NEVER do while dating someone.

So this... could be a funny post! I'm going to try to make it fun, simple, but true! And this isn't just from my experience, this is from me talking to other people too! :) So here's the list of things to do and  NEVER to do while dating someone!
1. First date... GUYS PAY! Sounds silly, but hey! He should be the one to ask you out (I will post about that later) so for the first date, he should pay!
2. After the first date... don't expect the guy to pay for everything! Go dutch or ladies, treat him sometimes! :) Guys I know you like to pay because it makes you feel super amazing (I don't understand that...) but let her treat you to some things. Just like you want to make her feel special, she wants you to know that you're pretty amazing too. The guys can still treat but girls don't just expect it.
3. Don't be dating the person unless you like just them! Or else its just really not fair. How would you feel if someone did that to you?! (It hurts... trust me!)
4. No one is perfect, so don't expect them to be! They are going to mess up so be willing to talk and work it out.
5. Do NOT EVER (no seriously... never ever!) hold back from being honest about something in the relationship that is bugging you. It will build up, then it will start feeling wrong, and you'll get all confused. If you are honest about it, without blaming the other person for the problem, then you can work on it together and figure it out.
6. Don't expect them to get you the moon, stars, and sun. They have a life too and can't always be doing stuff for you. Instead, look to what you can do for them. Serve them as Jesus served us.
7. Don't expect it to be a cake-walk! Seriously though, do not think its just all going to magically fall into place because you're "meant to be". Relationships take work and lots of it. Be willing to work at it, or you're not ready to be in a relationship.
8. Do not spend forever talking to someone you know while you're out with your date. Seriously, that's rude! You're out to be with them, not talking to someone else. If you are both talking then you can talk for a little, but remember... you're on a date!
9. Chew with your mouth closed! Seriously... see-food is gross. (coughguyscough)
10. Realize that guys and girls have different ways of showing that they care. Girls like to talk and show that they care by talking. Guys may not be like this and may not see what the girl is trying to do, other than that she's talking CONSTANTLY! Guys, if it bugs you, just tell her that you are going to need space at certain times and its not that you don't want to talk to her, but that you have other things you have to do too. She truly isn't trying to come off as clingy or needy, she's trying to show you that she cares. So be nice, be conscious of the fact you can easily hurt her with your words (words=girls way of caring/feeling cared for), and tell her honestly when you need space. Don't just get annoyed and ditch, she will think she did something horrible and be pretty miserable.
11. Do not spend a ton of time completely alone together. You want to stay pure until you are married? Well stats say that if a couple spends 300 hours alone, they will end up doing stuff. Instead of spending time truly alone, be "alone" in a super public place where you have the accountability of people around you. Be wise and guard yourself and your boyfriend/girlfriend.
12. Do be sweet! :) I mean, seriously... you're dating them! You're allowed to be mushy and cute! Just please... no PDA! That's just gross! Holding hands sure... but make-out sessions and feeling eachother up is NOT ok... even when you're alone! just... no!
13. Do guard your heart! "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23 This verse is so very very important! Your life (your thoughts, desires, dreams, feelings, everything) is part of where your heart is. If your heart is guarded and kept safe in God, then that is where your love will be. When you are married you can un-guard your heart, but until then, be wise and keep your heart hidden in God.
14. whatever you do, do not believe the lie that the world is saying that its ok to do stuff with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is NOT ok. "Flee from sexual immorality! All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefor honor God with your body." 1st Corinthians 6:13-17 Side note... sending pictures is still sexual sin. And it is extremely degrading to yourself and the other person. If you struggle with this or any form of sexual sin, please talk to someone who can keep you accountable and help you to break that habit. God will forgive you, but He calls you to a life of purity. Seek to follow that.
15. Pray together! This is a way of surrendering your relationship to God and trusting Him to help you. It is also recognizing that God is the most important part of your relationship and that you seek your emotional fulfillment from Him, not the person your dating.
16. Keep your friends! Do not become so enamored with your relationship that you ditch all your friends. You cant center your entire life around one person, you need to have friends and a life outside of your dating relationship for that relationship to be healthy.
17. COMMUNICATE! I KNOW this is hard for a lot of you guys, but this is soooo so so important! I can not stress enough how important this is. Please, communicate with eachother! Be honest! Be open! Be gentle! Be humble! Serve eachother! But TALK! For goodness sake, if something is bugging you SPIT IT OUT! :P Its not fair to either of you to hold it in and then find that you're feeling something is wrong or that its just getting to be too much to handle. Talk it out! Its hard, but it is worth it. Side note again! When you notice something that bugs you or is wrong... please be careful when you talk to the other person about it so that it doesn't come across like its all their fault, they're not good enough, or anything like that. Because that really hurts and you don't want to hurt them. 
18. Try! Don't take the easy way out or end things without actually trying. The worst thing to do is not to try. If you try, you seek God, and you work your hardest to make it work, but it doesn't work out, then I guess that God has another plan for you. But to quit without trying... that's not ok. Remember to look for the qualities I mentioned in the last post! If they are not living for God, then it wont work out, but if they are and you're not trying, then please think about why you're willing not to try. God called you to do your best in everything, that includes your relationships. Side note! If their future goals dont line up with yours, that is also a big indicator that things may not work. But if they do... try!
19. Do NOT fart, burp, or any other disgusting bodily noise in your girlfriends face! SERIOUSLY!? guys... that's just plain gross! I'm sure you seem extremely attractive after that...
20. Girls, dress modestly! Remember to protect your man! His heart needs to be set on God, but its hard when his eyes are on your body! Help him out!
21. Acknowledge God. "In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6. Keep in mind that the path to God is narrow and not well traveled. Sometimes you might have to walk through some hard things, but when you acknowledge God, He makes your path straight and will set you towards Him. this includes the path you walk in your relationship. :)
22. (added on) Do not ditch when you get mad/annoyed. It will hurt the other person! They probably didn't mean to annoy your or hurt you, so explain that that hurt/made you mad but do not hurt them back. That's not fair either.

Now... enjoy the tips! laugh at them... put them to use! Add more in the comments if you'd like! And know that there are others out there seeking to have Godly relationships too! you are not alone on your walk to God! :)

God bless!

Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Are you settling in your relationship? How do you find that perfect someone?

So I'm back to blogging... I really missed it actually! I love being able to share the things I learn with all of you. Right now I'm learning that... YOU WILL NEVER FIND THE "PERFECT" PERSON! shocker!! Please don't be upset with me for saying that! But its true! "But why, Breanna? How can that be true? Doesn't God have a "perfect" person for me?" Well, I'm glad you asked! Here's some things I've learned by reading, researching, and experience.

Now don't get me wrong, God intended man and woman to be together, not alone! "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27 He created man and woman to be together, He said it was not good for man to be alone. Alone man was ok. Man was missing something... that is why God created woman. To be with man so that man is not alone. That is how God designed us, so don't doubt that you were created to be with someone. God created you to be together.

Ever think about how many songs or how many movies have been written about people finding their "soul mate"? How many people are out there searching for their perfect match who will complete every part of them? Bad news... there's no such thing! I know... I burst another bubble! But this is good news too! It means that hey, maybe... there isnt just ONE person you're compatible with? Maybe God made you to choose? :) SEE! That's good news! You can choose, but you're probably wondering how right? Well first off we need to cover some things. The negotiable and non negotiable traits you want! So here we go!

Looks aren't everything! Oh hey! He's totally a 9 out of 10 on the hotness scale! Oh my goodness! Did you see her body?! She's like... a 10! I HAVE to meet her! I'm going to marry her. Ummm yeah! That doesnt work! :P You cant see a person and marry them based on attraction! A persons good looks doesnt mean they are truly handsome or beautiful! There are so many other important factors in a relationship! Some of the things you want from a relationship or in a relationship are negotiable and some of them aren't. How can you figure out which is which? Well... we can look at what God says about what a Christian man or woman should be to be forever material.
Proverbs 31 indicates things that a man should look for in a woman that he wants to spend forever with.
Does it mention that she has a perfect body?
Does it mention that she has to like sports or video games?
Does it mention that she has to say this or not say that to you?
nope! It mentions that she has to live her life for God. If she is truly living her life for God and seeking Him in all ways, then she is forever material, and a lot of the little things like I mentioned above will be able to be worked out.
Titus 1:6-9, talks about the qualities of elders, but this also is a list you can apply for finding a man who is truly seeking God and will therefore be a man you could spend forever with.
Does it mention anything about him needing to be taller than you?
Older than you?
Super good looking?
Does it say he NEEDS to take you to the new movie you want to see?
nope! It talks more that he needs to be a man after God. Because if he is truly living for God then those little things really wont be super duper uber important!

"I'm worried that I'm settling with them though. What if there's someone better? What if I can find a 10 in looks instead of an 8?" Alright... so lets talk about settling now! No one wants to think they are settling for something when they could have better, especially within their relationships.
First: settling brings on a selfish mind set. Really, when you think about it, you are thinking "what can this person give me" instead of thinking "how can I serve this person and love them how God loves me". Dating and marriage aren't supposed to just be about getting your needs fulfilled (though that is important that they are able to support you and vise versa). Dating and marriage are a form of servanthood. Jesus gave us that example when He came to earth to serve us. He healed us, fed us, loved us, cared for us, taught us, and ultimately died for us. How easy would it have been for Him to just say nope, they aren't serving me so I'm not going to save them. Yeah, He totally could have done that! But guess what! He didn't! He came to SERVE us! That is what dating and marriage is about! Serving the other person and giving to them. Anyways! Back on topic! Settling! Marriage isnt going to be a walk in the park! Neither is dating! You are both humans. You are both going to mess up. You will end up hurting. You will end up frustrated. Does it matter if the person is a 10 or a 3 on the scale when both people are human? probably not! What does matter are the qualities in the previously mentioned verses. If you look for those qualities you are not settling... you are settling down. To live in the relationship God gave you. It will take work! You're going to have to try all the way from being friends through dating, marriage and right till the end. You are going to have to pray to be a servant (I know it sounds weird) and pray that God will help and guide you as you walk through your journey either as a single looking for someone, as a newly dating couple, as an engaged couple, or as a married couple.

To add some fun to this post... here are 5 things you can do to find the right type of person! :)
1. Have a love roll model! have a couple you can model your relationship after! if it takes looking to find someone... then look!
2. Realize that love and lust are two different things! Love isn't about the physical aspects... Love comes in the form of a servant.
3. Remember to have a life!! Don't throw away everything for one person, have a life outside of them too. The fact that you have a healthy well rounded life will be attractive :)
4. Let God grow your definition of love. What you thought about true love 5 years ago is different than what you think now and will be different than what you think 5 years from now! Let God help to grow your love.
5. BE OPTIMISTIC! Being down about a relationship and stuff isnt going to help you find the right person.. it might just scare them off. :P

Anyways! Good luck in your adventures with relationship! And remember to seek God in all you do! :)

God Bless,