So this... could be a funny post! I'm going to try to make it fun, simple, but true! And this isn't just from my experience, this is from me talking to other people too! :) So here's the list of things to do and NEVER to do while dating someone!
1. First date... GUYS PAY! Sounds silly, but hey! He should be the one to ask you out (I will post about that later) so for the first date, he should pay!
2. After the first date... don't expect the guy to pay for everything! Go dutch or ladies, treat him sometimes! :) Guys I know you like to pay because it makes you feel super amazing (I don't understand that...) but let her treat you to some things. Just like you want to make her feel special, she wants you to know that you're pretty amazing too. The guys can still treat but girls don't just expect it.
3. Don't be dating the person unless you like just them! Or else its just really not fair. How would you feel if someone did that to you?! (It hurts... trust me!)
4. No one is perfect, so don't expect them to be! They are going to mess up so be willing to talk and work it out.
5. Do NOT EVER (no seriously... never ever!) hold back from being honest about something in the relationship that is bugging you. It will build up, then it will start feeling wrong, and you'll get all confused. If you are honest about it, without blaming the other person for the problem, then you can work on it together and figure it out.
6. Don't expect them to get you the moon, stars, and sun. They have a life too and can't always be doing stuff for you. Instead, look to what you can do for them. Serve them as Jesus served us.
7. Don't expect it to be a cake-walk! Seriously though, do not think its just all going to magically fall into place because you're "meant to be". Relationships take work and lots of it. Be willing to work at it, or you're not ready to be in a relationship.
8. Do not spend forever talking to someone you know while you're out with your date. Seriously, that's rude! You're out to be with them, not talking to someone else. If you are both talking then you can talk for a little, but remember... you're on a date!
9. Chew with your mouth closed! Seriously... see-food is gross. (coughguyscough)
10. Realize that guys and girls have different ways of showing that they care. Girls like to talk and show that they care by talking. Guys may not be like this and may not see what the girl is trying to do, other than that she's talking CONSTANTLY! Guys, if it bugs you, just tell her that you are going to need space at certain times and its not that you don't want to talk to her, but that you have other things you have to do too. She truly isn't trying to come off as clingy or needy, she's trying to show you that she cares. So be nice, be conscious of the fact you can easily hurt her with your words (words=girls way of caring/feeling cared for), and tell her honestly when you need space. Don't just get annoyed and ditch, she will think she did something horrible and be pretty miserable.
11. Do not spend a ton of time completely alone together. You want to stay pure until you are married? Well stats say that if a couple spends 300 hours alone, they will end up doing stuff. Instead of spending time truly alone, be "alone" in a super public place where you have the accountability of people around you. Be wise and guard yourself and your boyfriend/girlfriend.
12. Do be sweet! :) I mean, seriously... you're dating them! You're allowed to be mushy and cute! Just please... no PDA! That's just gross! Holding hands sure... but make-out sessions and feeling eachother up is NOT ok... even when you're alone! just... no!
13. Do guard your heart! "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23 This verse is so very very important! Your life (your thoughts, desires, dreams, feelings, everything) is part of where your heart is. If your heart is guarded and kept safe in God, then that is where your love will be. When you are married you can un-guard your heart, but until then, be wise and keep your heart hidden in God.
14. whatever you do, do not believe the lie that the world is saying that its ok to do stuff with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is NOT ok. "Flee from sexual immorality! All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefor honor God with your body." 1st Corinthians 6:13-17 Side note... sending pictures is still sexual sin. And it is extremely degrading to yourself and the other person. If you struggle with this or any form of sexual sin, please talk to someone who can keep you accountable and help you to break that habit. God will forgive you, but He calls you to a life of purity. Seek to follow that.
15. Pray together! This is a way of surrendering your relationship to God and trusting Him to help you. It is also recognizing that God is the most important part of your relationship and that you seek your emotional fulfillment from Him, not the person your dating.
16. Keep your friends! Do not become so enamored with your relationship that you ditch all your friends. You cant center your entire life around one person, you need to have friends and a life outside of your dating relationship for that relationship to be healthy.
17. COMMUNICATE! I KNOW this is hard for a lot of you guys, but this is soooo so so important! I can not stress enough how important this is. Please, communicate with eachother! Be honest! Be open! Be gentle! Be humble! Serve eachother! But TALK! For goodness sake, if something is bugging you SPIT IT OUT! :P Its not fair to either of you to hold it in and then find that you're feeling something is wrong or that its just getting to be too much to handle. Talk it out! Its hard, but it is worth it. Side note again! When you notice something that bugs you or is wrong... please be careful when you talk to the other person about it so that it doesn't come across like its all their fault, they're not good enough, or anything like that. Because that really hurts and you don't want to hurt them.
18. Try! Don't take the easy way out or end things without actually trying. The worst thing to do is not to try. If you try, you seek God, and you work your hardest to make it work, but it doesn't work out, then I guess that God has another plan for you. But to quit without trying... that's not ok. Remember to look for the qualities I mentioned in the last post! If they are not living for God, then it wont work out, but if they are and you're not trying, then please think about why you're willing not to try. God called you to do your best in everything, that includes your relationships. Side note! If their future goals dont line up with yours, that is also a big indicator that things may not work. But if they do... try!
19. Do NOT fart, burp, or any other disgusting bodily noise in your girlfriends face! SERIOUSLY!? guys... that's just plain gross! I'm sure you seem extremely attractive after that...
20. Girls, dress modestly! Remember to protect your man! His heart needs to be set on God, but its hard when his eyes are on your body! Help him out!
21. Acknowledge God. "In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6. Keep in mind that the path to God is narrow and not well traveled. Sometimes you might have to walk through some hard things, but when you acknowledge God, He makes your path straight and will set you towards Him. this includes the path you walk in your relationship. :)
22. (added on) Do not ditch when you get mad/annoyed. It will hurt the other person! They probably didn't mean to annoy your or hurt you, so explain that that hurt/made you mad but do not hurt them back. That's not fair either.
Now... enjoy the tips! laugh at them... put them to use! Add more in the comments if you'd like! And know that there are others out there seeking to have Godly relationships too! you are not alone on your walk to God! :)
God bless!
Breanna
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