Ladies first?

So today I'm going to cover a semi-controversial issue. Who should be pursuing who? Girls pursuing guys? Or guys pursuing girls? Which way is right? What's God's opinion on it? Does He have an opinion on it? You ready for this? Lets dig into it.

I've been reading a lot lately about dating, marriage, courtship, and being friends. (You can thank my parents for doing a talk on that, because it made me curious as to what people were saying about it and how all that they say really fits into my life). One of the common themes seems to be about pursuing and why it should be done a certain way even in just friends.

So now a days its extremely common for girls to go after guys they want. They become the pursuers instead of letting guys pursue them. More and more often girls are the ones to text/call a guy first, ask him to hang out, ask him out on dates, initiate anything physical, and they are even pressuring guys into doing stuff. This is so different than before when girls wouldn't even talk to a guy unless he approached her first. Not saying that that was completely good, but relationships seemed to be a bit different and have higher chances of lasting and being fulfilling when the guys approached the girls first. Why? Well... lets look at some reasons why guys should be initiating things with girls.

1. Man was created first. "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

2. Woman was created for man, because it was not good for man to be alone. (Gen 2) Again, emphasizing that man was created first.

3. Man was given the opportunity to find a help-mate, in other words he got to choose, but he couldn't find one suitable hence why woman was made. (Gen 2)

4. Men are the leaders of the family, but also the spiritual leaders of a home. "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

Alright, so those are some Biblical reasons why guys should be initiating. Seems pretty logical hey? But here are some others that I have come up with.

1. It makes the guy risk it. If the guy risks it, he will be more likely to stick around or want to work through things because he wanted it enough to risk asking in the first place.

2. It shows that he believes the girl is worth the risk.

3. It is proven that relationships that are initiated by the guy are actually more satisfying because he had/has to work for her.

4. Guys like a challenge... girls like to be pursued. What better way?

5. Her parents will really appreciate the guy asking because it shows respect for her and for them. Especially if you ask their permission (or at least her dad's) first.

So is it bad for girls to be pursuing guys? I would say yes. I'd much rather have a guy who wants me and pursues me and be able to respond to that with a yes or no, than to constantly be pursuing a guy. Girls just aren't really made for pursuing they are made to be pursued. Girls can respond though. And I'm not trying to take away any rights... just put a new "old" idea out there. :)

For dating, this also means let the guy initiate things within the relationship. Let him contact the girl first. Let him ask for the dates. Its not bad to text the guy first occasionally, but the guy should be doing the majority of the initiating.

This doesn't just apply to dating though! This applies to friendships too! Guys, if you are friends with a girl, don't always expect her to contact you first. Girls, don't always be contacting the guy first. Let him be the man we know God made him to be and let him lead.

Side note for the guys: this does not mean you stop being a gentleman and being chivalrous! Girls should go first through doors, you should be holding it, you should be letting her go first in those ways. But for initiating things, that is your job! Go be the leader and lead her closer to God! And know there are girls out there praying for a man who will be a leader.

Girls: Be praying for the guys you know to grow into the strong leaders God can mold them into! The power of prayer is an amazing thing.


God bless,

Breanna