And we are back! hurrah! I'm kinda loving blogging again :) Today's topic to cover is... how to understand guys and girls! Now... I'm a girl... so I'm probably going to explain more of the girl thing than the guy thing because frankly, guys confuse me to death. :P And knowing me... I probably confuse them to death too! (woops hehe) So lets dig into this!
About Girls:
Funny one, but one commonly asked... why do girls go to the bathroom in groups?
Have you seen Harry Potter and all the things that happen to the girls in the bathrooms?! Its sooo not safe! :P Trolls, spells, curses, ect... On a more serious note, we do it because a) there are safety in numbers (who knows when a creep will be around?!) b) sometimes we're emotional and need the excuse to breath and have our friends stop us from freaking out c) we're girls... we like to be in groups. Guys, you may just never understand that.
How do you know if a girl likes you?
Umm... well... we will stand different around you. Better posture! We will want to talk to you and get to know you (its how we show that we care). We will probably touch your arm or your hand lightly when we talk to you. If you say something funny we will laugh... just to show you that we think you're funny (and kinda cute...). More than likely we will play with our hair. Smile more often. Our voice might become a bit higher when we talk. Dont ask me why... I still dont understand it and I'm a girl... :P
About guys:
How come guys flip around so fast? First they like you, then they dont, then they do... ect...
Funny thing... guys and girls are both growing and learning, and both of them get confused. As much as guys will deny it, they also have to deal with hormone changes. They also might be struggling with the stress from school, family, friends, sports, or other more personal internal struggles. It may be one thing or a combination of things. Sometimes it has nothing to do with you, they just are struggling with something and need time/space to work it out! Thats totally ok too! :) Just make sure that you respect that. (again, with the respect) And remember, girls, you do this too! Give them grace because you expect grace back from them.
Both:
Why do girls tend to talk more and guys less? Are girls just clingy and guys complete introverts or what?
Strangely enough, this is something that either works super well or terribly bad. For the girl part of this, why do they talk so much, its because well... we're girls! We talk to show we care. Its probably one of the top love languages for most girls. Most girls don't intend to come off as clingy, they just want to show they care and they want to know you. Some of them may actually be clingy (no, its not a good thing), but the majority of girls just want to care and show it, but don't really know how to. There are some girls who are quiet though, and thats ok too!
For the guys' part in this, there are some guys who LOVE to talk! They just enjoy it. There are others who are more the quiet type though. They aren't really introverts, and they like to talk, but they need their space.
How do they fit together? Well... basically they communicate their needs to eachother! The guy tells the girl when he needs space or the girl tells the guy when she needs space, and they try to be sure they are serving the other persons needs too. Remember! Girls and guys are so different (normally) when it comes to talking! But if you are in a relationship... communication is key! Really, it is. Just talk to eachother and tell eachother your needs! It helps :) If you dont, then one of you will either give too much and not get enough, or one will become super annoyed, or both! But please, do not be needy... that gets old... fast :P
How do you know what they want?
Girls: Basically as a girl, we want to be loved! In ways, we want the exact same thing as guys. We want to be loved, feel unique beautiful and wonderful, belong, and have stability. However, as much as we also want respect, we desire to be loved almost more. Silly in some ways... but part of what makes us the "lovey/mushy/sweet" half. :P (sorry guys)
Guys: Guys want to be respected! Crazy I know, but a guy really values a girl's respect and the respect of those around him. Guys do want to belong and to be loved and feel wanted, but unless you respect their masculinity while doing it... they wont be too impressed.
In all honestly, girls and guys want the same thing. To live, to love, and to be loved in return. They just seek it in different ways.
Now it is my bed time... so I hope you enjoy the post and it helps you understand a little tiny bit into the lives of guys and girls. :) Remember... God understands us, even when we dont!
God Bless!
Breanna
Thursday, February 7, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Things to do and NEVER do while dating someone.
So this... could be a funny post! I'm going to try to make it fun, simple, but true! And this isn't just from my experience, this is from me talking to other people too! :) So here's the list of things to do and NEVER to do while dating someone!
1. First date... GUYS PAY! Sounds silly, but hey! He should be the one to ask you out (I will post about that later) so for the first date, he should pay!
2. After the first date... don't expect the guy to pay for everything! Go dutch or ladies, treat him sometimes! :) Guys I know you like to pay because it makes you feel super amazing (I don't understand that...) but let her treat you to some things. Just like you want to make her feel special, she wants you to know that you're pretty amazing too. The guys can still treat but girls don't just expect it.
3. Don't be dating the person unless you like just them! Or else its just really not fair. How would you feel if someone did that to you?! (It hurts... trust me!)
4. No one is perfect, so don't expect them to be! They are going to mess up so be willing to talk and work it out.
5. Do NOT EVER (no seriously... never ever!) hold back from being honest about something in the relationship that is bugging you. It will build up, then it will start feeling wrong, and you'll get all confused. If you are honest about it, without blaming the other person for the problem, then you can work on it together and figure it out.
6. Don't expect them to get you the moon, stars, and sun. They have a life too and can't always be doing stuff for you. Instead, look to what you can do for them. Serve them as Jesus served us.
7. Don't expect it to be a cake-walk! Seriously though, do not think its just all going to magically fall into place because you're "meant to be". Relationships take work and lots of it. Be willing to work at it, or you're not ready to be in a relationship.
8. Do not spend forever talking to someone you know while you're out with your date. Seriously, that's rude! You're out to be with them, not talking to someone else. If you are both talking then you can talk for a little, but remember... you're on a date!
9. Chew with your mouth closed! Seriously... see-food is gross. (coughguyscough)
10. Realize that guys and girls have different ways of showing that they care. Girls like to talk and show that they care by talking. Guys may not be like this and may not see what the girl is trying to do, other than that she's talking CONSTANTLY! Guys, if it bugs you, just tell her that you are going to need space at certain times and its not that you don't want to talk to her, but that you have other things you have to do too. She truly isn't trying to come off as clingy or needy, she's trying to show you that she cares. So be nice, be conscious of the fact you can easily hurt her with your words (words=girls way of caring/feeling cared for), and tell her honestly when you need space. Don't just get annoyed and ditch, she will think she did something horrible and be pretty miserable.
11. Do not spend a ton of time completely alone together. You want to stay pure until you are married? Well stats say that if a couple spends 300 hours alone, they will end up doing stuff. Instead of spending time truly alone, be "alone" in a super public place where you have the accountability of people around you. Be wise and guard yourself and your boyfriend/girlfriend.
12. Do be sweet! :) I mean, seriously... you're dating them! You're allowed to be mushy and cute! Just please... no PDA! That's just gross! Holding hands sure... but make-out sessions and feeling eachother up is NOT ok... even when you're alone! just... no!
13. Do guard your heart! "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23 This verse is so very very important! Your life (your thoughts, desires, dreams, feelings, everything) is part of where your heart is. If your heart is guarded and kept safe in God, then that is where your love will be. When you are married you can un-guard your heart, but until then, be wise and keep your heart hidden in God.
14. whatever you do, do not believe the lie that the world is saying that its ok to do stuff with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is NOT ok. "Flee from sexual immorality! All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefor honor God with your body." 1st Corinthians 6:13-17 Side note... sending pictures is still sexual sin. And it is extremely degrading to yourself and the other person. If you struggle with this or any form of sexual sin, please talk to someone who can keep you accountable and help you to break that habit. God will forgive you, but He calls you to a life of purity. Seek to follow that.
15. Pray together! This is a way of surrendering your relationship to God and trusting Him to help you. It is also recognizing that God is the most important part of your relationship and that you seek your emotional fulfillment from Him, not the person your dating.
16. Keep your friends! Do not become so enamored with your relationship that you ditch all your friends. You cant center your entire life around one person, you need to have friends and a life outside of your dating relationship for that relationship to be healthy.
17. COMMUNICATE! I KNOW this is hard for a lot of you guys, but this is soooo so so important! I can not stress enough how important this is. Please, communicate with eachother! Be honest! Be open! Be gentle! Be humble! Serve eachother! But TALK! For goodness sake, if something is bugging you SPIT IT OUT! :P Its not fair to either of you to hold it in and then find that you're feeling something is wrong or that its just getting to be too much to handle. Talk it out! Its hard, but it is worth it. Side note again! When you notice something that bugs you or is wrong... please be careful when you talk to the other person about it so that it doesn't come across like its all their fault, they're not good enough, or anything like that. Because that really hurts and you don't want to hurt them.
18. Try! Don't take the easy way out or end things without actually trying. The worst thing to do is not to try. If you try, you seek God, and you work your hardest to make it work, but it doesn't work out, then I guess that God has another plan for you. But to quit without trying... that's not ok. Remember to look for the qualities I mentioned in the last post! If they are not living for God, then it wont work out, but if they are and you're not trying, then please think about why you're willing not to try. God called you to do your best in everything, that includes your relationships. Side note! If their future goals dont line up with yours, that is also a big indicator that things may not work. But if they do... try!
19. Do NOT fart, burp, or any other disgusting bodily noise in your girlfriends face! SERIOUSLY!? guys... that's just plain gross! I'm sure you seem extremely attractive after that...
20. Girls, dress modestly! Remember to protect your man! His heart needs to be set on God, but its hard when his eyes are on your body! Help him out!
21. Acknowledge God. "In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6. Keep in mind that the path to God is narrow and not well traveled. Sometimes you might have to walk through some hard things, but when you acknowledge God, He makes your path straight and will set you towards Him. this includes the path you walk in your relationship. :)
22. (added on) Do not ditch when you get mad/annoyed. It will hurt the other person! They probably didn't mean to annoy your or hurt you, so explain that that hurt/made you mad but do not hurt them back. That's not fair either.
Now... enjoy the tips! laugh at them... put them to use! Add more in the comments if you'd like! And know that there are others out there seeking to have Godly relationships too! you are not alone on your walk to God! :)
God bless!
Breanna
1. First date... GUYS PAY! Sounds silly, but hey! He should be the one to ask you out (I will post about that later) so for the first date, he should pay!
2. After the first date... don't expect the guy to pay for everything! Go dutch or ladies, treat him sometimes! :) Guys I know you like to pay because it makes you feel super amazing (I don't understand that...) but let her treat you to some things. Just like you want to make her feel special, she wants you to know that you're pretty amazing too. The guys can still treat but girls don't just expect it.
3. Don't be dating the person unless you like just them! Or else its just really not fair. How would you feel if someone did that to you?! (It hurts... trust me!)
4. No one is perfect, so don't expect them to be! They are going to mess up so be willing to talk and work it out.
5. Do NOT EVER (no seriously... never ever!) hold back from being honest about something in the relationship that is bugging you. It will build up, then it will start feeling wrong, and you'll get all confused. If you are honest about it, without blaming the other person for the problem, then you can work on it together and figure it out.
6. Don't expect them to get you the moon, stars, and sun. They have a life too and can't always be doing stuff for you. Instead, look to what you can do for them. Serve them as Jesus served us.
7. Don't expect it to be a cake-walk! Seriously though, do not think its just all going to magically fall into place because you're "meant to be". Relationships take work and lots of it. Be willing to work at it, or you're not ready to be in a relationship.
8. Do not spend forever talking to someone you know while you're out with your date. Seriously, that's rude! You're out to be with them, not talking to someone else. If you are both talking then you can talk for a little, but remember... you're on a date!
9. Chew with your mouth closed! Seriously... see-food is gross. (coughguyscough)
10. Realize that guys and girls have different ways of showing that they care. Girls like to talk and show that they care by talking. Guys may not be like this and may not see what the girl is trying to do, other than that she's talking CONSTANTLY! Guys, if it bugs you, just tell her that you are going to need space at certain times and its not that you don't want to talk to her, but that you have other things you have to do too. She truly isn't trying to come off as clingy or needy, she's trying to show you that she cares. So be nice, be conscious of the fact you can easily hurt her with your words (words=girls way of caring/feeling cared for), and tell her honestly when you need space. Don't just get annoyed and ditch, she will think she did something horrible and be pretty miserable.
11. Do not spend a ton of time completely alone together. You want to stay pure until you are married? Well stats say that if a couple spends 300 hours alone, they will end up doing stuff. Instead of spending time truly alone, be "alone" in a super public place where you have the accountability of people around you. Be wise and guard yourself and your boyfriend/girlfriend.
12. Do be sweet! :) I mean, seriously... you're dating them! You're allowed to be mushy and cute! Just please... no PDA! That's just gross! Holding hands sure... but make-out sessions and feeling eachother up is NOT ok... even when you're alone! just... no!
13. Do guard your heart! "Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." Proverbs 4:23 This verse is so very very important! Your life (your thoughts, desires, dreams, feelings, everything) is part of where your heart is. If your heart is guarded and kept safe in God, then that is where your love will be. When you are married you can un-guard your heart, but until then, be wise and keep your heart hidden in God.
14. whatever you do, do not believe the lie that the world is saying that its ok to do stuff with your boyfriend or girlfriend. It is NOT ok. "Flee from sexual immorality! All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefor honor God with your body." 1st Corinthians 6:13-17 Side note... sending pictures is still sexual sin. And it is extremely degrading to yourself and the other person. If you struggle with this or any form of sexual sin, please talk to someone who can keep you accountable and help you to break that habit. God will forgive you, but He calls you to a life of purity. Seek to follow that.
15. Pray together! This is a way of surrendering your relationship to God and trusting Him to help you. It is also recognizing that God is the most important part of your relationship and that you seek your emotional fulfillment from Him, not the person your dating.
16. Keep your friends! Do not become so enamored with your relationship that you ditch all your friends. You cant center your entire life around one person, you need to have friends and a life outside of your dating relationship for that relationship to be healthy.
17. COMMUNICATE! I KNOW this is hard for a lot of you guys, but this is soooo so so important! I can not stress enough how important this is. Please, communicate with eachother! Be honest! Be open! Be gentle! Be humble! Serve eachother! But TALK! For goodness sake, if something is bugging you SPIT IT OUT! :P Its not fair to either of you to hold it in and then find that you're feeling something is wrong or that its just getting to be too much to handle. Talk it out! Its hard, but it is worth it. Side note again! When you notice something that bugs you or is wrong... please be careful when you talk to the other person about it so that it doesn't come across like its all their fault, they're not good enough, or anything like that. Because that really hurts and you don't want to hurt them.
18. Try! Don't take the easy way out or end things without actually trying. The worst thing to do is not to try. If you try, you seek God, and you work your hardest to make it work, but it doesn't work out, then I guess that God has another plan for you. But to quit without trying... that's not ok. Remember to look for the qualities I mentioned in the last post! If they are not living for God, then it wont work out, but if they are and you're not trying, then please think about why you're willing not to try. God called you to do your best in everything, that includes your relationships. Side note! If their future goals dont line up with yours, that is also a big indicator that things may not work. But if they do... try!
19. Do NOT fart, burp, or any other disgusting bodily noise in your girlfriends face! SERIOUSLY!? guys... that's just plain gross! I'm sure you seem extremely attractive after that...
20. Girls, dress modestly! Remember to protect your man! His heart needs to be set on God, but its hard when his eyes are on your body! Help him out!
21. Acknowledge God. "In all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:6. Keep in mind that the path to God is narrow and not well traveled. Sometimes you might have to walk through some hard things, but when you acknowledge God, He makes your path straight and will set you towards Him. this includes the path you walk in your relationship. :)
22. (added on) Do not ditch when you get mad/annoyed. It will hurt the other person! They probably didn't mean to annoy your or hurt you, so explain that that hurt/made you mad but do not hurt them back. That's not fair either.
Now... enjoy the tips! laugh at them... put them to use! Add more in the comments if you'd like! And know that there are others out there seeking to have Godly relationships too! you are not alone on your walk to God! :)
God bless!
Breanna
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Are you settling in your relationship? How do you find that perfect someone?
So I'm back to blogging... I really missed it actually! I love being able to share the things I learn with all of you. Right now I'm learning that... YOU WILL NEVER FIND THE "PERFECT" PERSON! shocker!! Please don't be upset with me for saying that! But its true! "But why, Breanna? How can that be true? Doesn't God have a "perfect" person for me?" Well, I'm glad you asked! Here's some things I've learned by reading, researching, and experience.
Now don't get me wrong, God intended man and woman to be together, not alone! "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27 He created man and woman to be together, He said it was not good for man to be alone. Alone man was ok. Man was missing something... that is why God created woman. To be with man so that man is not alone. That is how God designed us, so don't doubt that you were created to be with someone. God created you to be together.
Ever think about how many songs or how many movies have been written about people finding their "soul mate"? How many people are out there searching for their perfect match who will complete every part of them? Bad news... there's no such thing! I know... I burst another bubble! But this is good news too! It means that hey, maybe... there isnt just ONE person you're compatible with? Maybe God made you to choose? :) SEE! That's good news! You can choose, but you're probably wondering how right? Well first off we need to cover some things. The negotiable and non negotiable traits you want! So here we go!
Looks aren't everything! Oh hey! He's totally a 9 out of 10 on the hotness scale! Oh my goodness! Did you see her body?! She's like... a 10! I HAVE to meet her! I'm going to marry her. Ummm yeah! That doesnt work! :P You cant see a person and marry them based on attraction! A persons good looks doesnt mean they are truly handsome or beautiful! There are so many other important factors in a relationship! Some of the things you want from a relationship or in a relationship are negotiable and some of them aren't. How can you figure out which is which? Well... we can look at what God says about what a Christian man or woman should be to be forever material.
Proverbs 31 indicates things that a man should look for in a woman that he wants to spend forever with. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs%2031:%2010-31&version=NIV
Does it mention that she has a perfect body?
Does it mention that she has to like sports or video games?
Does it mention that she has to say this or not say that to you?
nope! It mentions that she has to live her life for God. If she is truly living her life for God and seeking Him in all ways, then she is forever material, and a lot of the little things like I mentioned above will be able to be worked out.
Titus 1:6-9, talks about the qualities of elders, but this also is a list you can apply for finding a man who is truly seeking God and will therefore be a man you could spend forever with. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Titus%201:6-9&version=NIV
Does it mention anything about him needing to be taller than you?
Older than you?
Super good looking?
Does it say he NEEDS to take you to the new movie you want to see?
nope! It talks more that he needs to be a man after God. Because if he is truly living for God then those little things really wont be super duper uber important!
"I'm worried that I'm settling with them though. What if there's someone better? What if I can find a 10 in looks instead of an 8?" Alright... so lets talk about settling now! No one wants to think they are settling for something when they could have better, especially within their relationships.
First: settling brings on a selfish mind set. Really, when you think about it, you are thinking "what can this person give me" instead of thinking "how can I serve this person and love them how God loves me". Dating and marriage aren't supposed to just be about getting your needs fulfilled (though that is important that they are able to support you and vise versa). Dating and marriage are a form of servanthood. Jesus gave us that example when He came to earth to serve us. He healed us, fed us, loved us, cared for us, taught us, and ultimately died for us. How easy would it have been for Him to just say nope, they aren't serving me so I'm not going to save them. Yeah, He totally could have done that! But guess what! He didn't! He came to SERVE us! That is what dating and marriage is about! Serving the other person and giving to them. Anyways! Back on topic! Settling! Marriage isnt going to be a walk in the park! Neither is dating! You are both humans. You are both going to mess up. You will end up hurting. You will end up frustrated. Does it matter if the person is a 10 or a 3 on the scale when both people are human? probably not! What does matter are the qualities in the previously mentioned verses. If you look for those qualities you are not settling... you are settling down. To live in the relationship God gave you. It will take work! You're going to have to try all the way from being friends through dating, marriage and right till the end. You are going to have to pray to be a servant (I know it sounds weird) and pray that God will help and guide you as you walk through your journey either as a single looking for someone, as a newly dating couple, as an engaged couple, or as a married couple.
To add some fun to this post... here are 5 things you can do to find the right type of person! :)
1. Have a love roll model! have a couple you can model your relationship after! if it takes looking to find someone... then look!
2. Realize that love and lust are two different things! Love isn't about the physical aspects... Love comes in the form of a servant.
3. Remember to have a life!! Don't throw away everything for one person, have a life outside of them too. The fact that you have a healthy well rounded life will be attractive :)
4. Let God grow your definition of love. What you thought about true love 5 years ago is different than what you think now and will be different than what you think 5 years from now! Let God help to grow your love.
5. BE OPTIMISTIC! Being down about a relationship and stuff isnt going to help you find the right person.. it might just scare them off. :P
Anyways! Good luck in your adventures with relationship! And remember to seek God in all you do! :)
God Bless,
Breanna
Now don't get me wrong, God intended man and woman to be together, not alone! "So God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created them, male and female He created them." Genesis 1:27 He created man and woman to be together, He said it was not good for man to be alone. Alone man was ok. Man was missing something... that is why God created woman. To be with man so that man is not alone. That is how God designed us, so don't doubt that you were created to be with someone. God created you to be together.
Ever think about how many songs or how many movies have been written about people finding their "soul mate"? How many people are out there searching for their perfect match who will complete every part of them? Bad news... there's no such thing! I know... I burst another bubble! But this is good news too! It means that hey, maybe... there isnt just ONE person you're compatible with? Maybe God made you to choose? :) SEE! That's good news! You can choose, but you're probably wondering how right? Well first off we need to cover some things. The negotiable and non negotiable traits you want! So here we go!
Looks aren't everything! Oh hey! He's totally a 9 out of 10 on the hotness scale! Oh my goodness! Did you see her body?! She's like... a 10! I HAVE to meet her! I'm going to marry her. Ummm yeah! That doesnt work! :P You cant see a person and marry them based on attraction! A persons good looks doesnt mean they are truly handsome or beautiful! There are so many other important factors in a relationship! Some of the things you want from a relationship or in a relationship are negotiable and some of them aren't. How can you figure out which is which? Well... we can look at what God says about what a Christian man or woman should be to be forever material.
Proverbs 31 indicates things that a man should look for in a woman that he wants to spend forever with. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=proverbs%2031:%2010-31&version=NIV
Does it mention that she has a perfect body?
Does it mention that she has to like sports or video games?
Does it mention that she has to say this or not say that to you?
nope! It mentions that she has to live her life for God. If she is truly living her life for God and seeking Him in all ways, then she is forever material, and a lot of the little things like I mentioned above will be able to be worked out.
Titus 1:6-9, talks about the qualities of elders, but this also is a list you can apply for finding a man who is truly seeking God and will therefore be a man you could spend forever with. http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Titus%201:6-9&version=NIV
Does it mention anything about him needing to be taller than you?
Older than you?
Super good looking?
Does it say he NEEDS to take you to the new movie you want to see?
nope! It talks more that he needs to be a man after God. Because if he is truly living for God then those little things really wont be super duper uber important!
"I'm worried that I'm settling with them though. What if there's someone better? What if I can find a 10 in looks instead of an 8?" Alright... so lets talk about settling now! No one wants to think they are settling for something when they could have better, especially within their relationships.
First: settling brings on a selfish mind set. Really, when you think about it, you are thinking "what can this person give me" instead of thinking "how can I serve this person and love them how God loves me". Dating and marriage aren't supposed to just be about getting your needs fulfilled (though that is important that they are able to support you and vise versa). Dating and marriage are a form of servanthood. Jesus gave us that example when He came to earth to serve us. He healed us, fed us, loved us, cared for us, taught us, and ultimately died for us. How easy would it have been for Him to just say nope, they aren't serving me so I'm not going to save them. Yeah, He totally could have done that! But guess what! He didn't! He came to SERVE us! That is what dating and marriage is about! Serving the other person and giving to them. Anyways! Back on topic! Settling! Marriage isnt going to be a walk in the park! Neither is dating! You are both humans. You are both going to mess up. You will end up hurting. You will end up frustrated. Does it matter if the person is a 10 or a 3 on the scale when both people are human? probably not! What does matter are the qualities in the previously mentioned verses. If you look for those qualities you are not settling... you are settling down. To live in the relationship God gave you. It will take work! You're going to have to try all the way from being friends through dating, marriage and right till the end. You are going to have to pray to be a servant (I know it sounds weird) and pray that God will help and guide you as you walk through your journey either as a single looking for someone, as a newly dating couple, as an engaged couple, or as a married couple.
To add some fun to this post... here are 5 things you can do to find the right type of person! :)
1. Have a love roll model! have a couple you can model your relationship after! if it takes looking to find someone... then look!
2. Realize that love and lust are two different things! Love isn't about the physical aspects... Love comes in the form of a servant.
3. Remember to have a life!! Don't throw away everything for one person, have a life outside of them too. The fact that you have a healthy well rounded life will be attractive :)
4. Let God grow your definition of love. What you thought about true love 5 years ago is different than what you think now and will be different than what you think 5 years from now! Let God help to grow your love.
5. BE OPTIMISTIC! Being down about a relationship and stuff isnt going to help you find the right person.. it might just scare them off. :P
Anyways! Good luck in your adventures with relationship! And remember to seek God in all you do! :)
God Bless,
Breanna
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Trusting God- My Story
Hey my bloggers! :)
Sorry its been so long! School/life-in-general got MAJORLY busy! :P So I wanted to give you guys a little update on how things have been for me.
Well, back in May I went to this AMAZING event called YC Alberta! (Probably my favorite thing of the entire year). I learned so much there! I got to hear Brett Ullman speak again, and went to a talk called Heartache Warfare. Heartache Warfare was really hard for me. I was going through a lot in my own life at that time. I was dating someone behind my parents back (btw... DON'T TRY THAT! it doesnt work, and they know anyways... :P ) and he happened to be with me at that talk. My parents were around (dont worry! I wasn't that crazy haha) and I found it very hard to listen to how much we need to keep God as the center when I was doing something I knew wouldn't be honoring to God. I kept feeling God telling me to trust Him the entire weekend and to be Peter and step out of the boat. (weirdly enough my youth pastor had used that story to encourage us to trust God and it came up at a few of the talks at YC). Me being stubborn old me, decided to do things MY way. (again... don't ignore God... very bad idea...) I put off stepping back from that relationship... and things got even more strained with my family. My family is next to God, the most important people in my life. I love them incredible amounts, and having this come between us wasn't what I wanted. :( So in the past month I finally decided to follow God and trust Him enough to take care of my future. I know He has someone planned for me. :) I trust Him enough to give Him the pen to my love story.
I really want to encourage you who read this to hold out for someone who loves God more than anything else, and who shares the same values as you. It is so so so important that they love God as much as you do, if not more. Being in love with God is the first sign that they will know how to love you in the way you need/desire to be loved.
Yes, I still hurt. Yes, I still am confused. But I trust my First Love to take care of my earthly love for me. :) I pray all of you will be strong enough and brave enough to do the same.
I will try to get some more devo's up here and more updates and such soon! :)
Blessings,
Breanna
Sorry its been so long! School/life-in-general got MAJORLY busy! :P So I wanted to give you guys a little update on how things have been for me.
Well, back in May I went to this AMAZING event called YC Alberta! (Probably my favorite thing of the entire year). I learned so much there! I got to hear Brett Ullman speak again, and went to a talk called Heartache Warfare. Heartache Warfare was really hard for me. I was going through a lot in my own life at that time. I was dating someone behind my parents back (btw... DON'T TRY THAT! it doesnt work, and they know anyways... :P ) and he happened to be with me at that talk. My parents were around (dont worry! I wasn't that crazy haha) and I found it very hard to listen to how much we need to keep God as the center when I was doing something I knew wouldn't be honoring to God. I kept feeling God telling me to trust Him the entire weekend and to be Peter and step out of the boat. (weirdly enough my youth pastor had used that story to encourage us to trust God and it came up at a few of the talks at YC). Me being stubborn old me, decided to do things MY way. (again... don't ignore God... very bad idea...) I put off stepping back from that relationship... and things got even more strained with my family. My family is next to God, the most important people in my life. I love them incredible amounts, and having this come between us wasn't what I wanted. :( So in the past month I finally decided to follow God and trust Him enough to take care of my future. I know He has someone planned for me. :) I trust Him enough to give Him the pen to my love story.
I really want to encourage you who read this to hold out for someone who loves God more than anything else, and who shares the same values as you. It is so so so important that they love God as much as you do, if not more. Being in love with God is the first sign that they will know how to love you in the way you need/desire to be loved.
Yes, I still hurt. Yes, I still am confused. But I trust my First Love to take care of my earthly love for me. :) I pray all of you will be strong enough and brave enough to do the same.
I will try to get some more devo's up here and more updates and such soon! :)
Blessings,
Breanna
Saturday, April 14, 2012
The Golden Rule: Do unto Others as you would have them do unto you
Hey all! Sorry... I've been missing so many posts! :( Life got chaotic around my house with family at my house, us going to our family's house, friends coming up... and last within the last 48 hours... A 30 hour fast. The 30 hour fast my youth did was to raise money for the Tegler Youth Center in inner city Edmonton. As a small group, some of my friends and I volunteered in inner city Edmonton at the Mustard Seed for a week this past summer. We spent a week serving food, visiting with the community members, and pretty much having our lives changed. Personally I did not expect to feel so safe among people who looked so... unsafe. They took our group in as if we were part of their family and they watched out for us. Last night the speaker for the Fast Fast was our leader in the SUP (Summer Urban Placement) program at the Seed. She spoke of how we were fasting to feel a bit what its like to be those people in the world that don't have food. She read us a bit of a book she had been reading and it was all about how You becomes Me. Really we are all so incredibly blessed to be where we are today, but we look down on those who aren't as "good" as us. The point she really made for me was that "How we treat the created reflects how we feel towards the creator." We are created in God's image. Not to be God, or become a God, but we have a unique part of God living in us. The idea that "how we treat the created reflects how we feel towards the creator" made me think of Mark 12:28-31. "One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, "Of all the commandments, which is the most important?"
"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."
Jesus even said we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. If we are hungry, our neighbor is probably hungry too. If we love our God, we need to love and take care of His creation too. They may live a different way than you, but they are still made in God's image and still need love. All people need love.
Blessings,
Breanna
"The most important one," answered Jesus, "is this: 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.' The second is this: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' There is no commandment greater than these."
Jesus even said we are to love our neighbors as ourselves. If we are hungry, our neighbor is probably hungry too. If we love our God, we need to love and take care of His creation too. They may live a different way than you, but they are still made in God's image and still need love. All people need love.
Blessings,
Breanna
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Forever and Always... or Until I get Tired of You...
Anyone ever heard of Brett Ullman? Well last night my youth group watched Brett Ullman's talk on dating known as Dating For Life. OH MY GOODNESS! The things you all should know! I hope you guys all get a chance to either see him live, or watch his video sometime. It is something everyone should watch before starting dating, or thinking of getting married. I'll share a few of my notes that should make a bit of sense to you guys... hopefully! Also I will attach the link for his website, pdf of questions, and youtube promo vid.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3FvqYx-uN4
The first thing Brett brought up was the fact that we live in a very uncontent world. We feel like our cell phone or ipod is out of date... so we throw it out and get a new one. Sadly enough... we do the same thing with our relationships! Oh... this is too much work, I'll just let it go and find a new one. This mindset is in dating and sadly in marriages. :( The divorce rate is at 45-55% and doesn't shock people anymore. Here's something else... 75% of people say they are unhappy in their marriage after 10 years of marriage. (in other words only 25% of people are happy after 10 years of marriage).
Breanna's Input: in Philippians 4:11-12 it says, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." In other words... be content! This applies to relationships too my friends! Be content in your relationship and don't go seeking after someone who may look hotter on the outside, but who's heart is corrupt.
Back to Brett now... His next point was that divorce is the punishment for not preparing before marriage. In other words... you didn't ask the right questions before you married the guy/girl and now you're going ok... that's not good! To help us out... he gave us a list of questions you should talk about with your significant other before you tie the knot. http://www.brettullman.com/images/stories/pdfs/dfl_questions.pdf
I encourage you to read over these questions and figure out which are your "deal breakers" for getting married. I mean, dating ultimately leads to marriage! So think about it! Oh and a quote of his I liked was "Marriage is the practice of becoming passionate friends." :) Best friends... for life! Ultimate BFF's! I like it!
Also he talked about dating non-christians and used the verses that I also used in my post on the topic. Something he said to look at for the person you're considering dating or are dating would be:
Faith-Does it matter to you? How is this person doing with:
Church- do they attend regularly and without excuses?
Youth Group- if they are highschool aged are they involved in youth?
Small Group- do they have a small group or friends they get together with to read the Bible and talk about stuff with?
Missions- are the actively living out God's command to spread the word?
Working with the poor- are they helping out closer to home?
Giving to organizations- do they tithe? do they give money to organizations when they feel called to?
Prayer- do they have an active prayer life?
Reading the Bible- are they seeking after God?
Not all of these might be super important to you... but if you're looking for a strong Christian, they should be mostly all true!
Also his biggest point was communicate! Talk! If you don't talk or ask questions, you're not going to get very far and relationships will die off.
Dating For Life Website: http://www.brettullman.com/talks/datingforlife.html
Anyways... Its getting late so I should sign off. If you guys want to know more or want some more of my notes from this let me know! :)
God Bless,
Breanna
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I3FvqYx-uN4
The first thing Brett brought up was the fact that we live in a very uncontent world. We feel like our cell phone or ipod is out of date... so we throw it out and get a new one. Sadly enough... we do the same thing with our relationships! Oh... this is too much work, I'll just let it go and find a new one. This mindset is in dating and sadly in marriages. :( The divorce rate is at 45-55% and doesn't shock people anymore. Here's something else... 75% of people say they are unhappy in their marriage after 10 years of marriage. (in other words only 25% of people are happy after 10 years of marriage).
Breanna's Input: in Philippians 4:11-12 it says, "I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." In other words... be content! This applies to relationships too my friends! Be content in your relationship and don't go seeking after someone who may look hotter on the outside, but who's heart is corrupt.
Back to Brett now... His next point was that divorce is the punishment for not preparing before marriage. In other words... you didn't ask the right questions before you married the guy/girl and now you're going ok... that's not good! To help us out... he gave us a list of questions you should talk about with your significant other before you tie the knot. http://www.brettullman.com/images/stories/pdfs/dfl_questions.pdf
I encourage you to read over these questions and figure out which are your "deal breakers" for getting married. I mean, dating ultimately leads to marriage! So think about it! Oh and a quote of his I liked was "Marriage is the practice of becoming passionate friends." :) Best friends... for life! Ultimate BFF's! I like it!
Also he talked about dating non-christians and used the verses that I also used in my post on the topic. Something he said to look at for the person you're considering dating or are dating would be:
Faith-Does it matter to you? How is this person doing with:
Church- do they attend regularly and without excuses?
Youth Group- if they are highschool aged are they involved in youth?
Small Group- do they have a small group or friends they get together with to read the Bible and talk about stuff with?
Missions- are the actively living out God's command to spread the word?
Working with the poor- are they helping out closer to home?
Giving to organizations- do they tithe? do they give money to organizations when they feel called to?
Prayer- do they have an active prayer life?
Reading the Bible- are they seeking after God?
Not all of these might be super important to you... but if you're looking for a strong Christian, they should be mostly all true!
Also his biggest point was communicate! Talk! If you don't talk or ask questions, you're not going to get very far and relationships will die off.
Dating For Life Website: http://www.brettullman.com/talks/datingforlife.html
Anyways... Its getting late so I should sign off. If you guys want to know more or want some more of my notes from this let me know! :)
God Bless,
Breanna
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Who am I?
Sorry guys that I haven't had a chance to post lately. Life has been busy. :( But I have some time right now to be able to post. :) Today's topic is looking at Jesus' death. Since it is almost Easter weekend I wanted you guys to remember that Jesus died for you! Not because He should, but because He loves you. This isn't an obligation for Him, this was an act of ultimate love and mercy. He chose to save us by allowing us to kill Him. In the link below you will find John's account of the death of Jesus.
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+19&version=NIV
Pretty amazing how a guy who could give life to others would willingly give up His life for YOU! In all our unworthiness, God's love makes us worthy.
Here is one of my favorite songs that I hope will touch you guys as much as it did me.
Pretty amazing how a guy who could give life to others would willingly give up His life for YOU! In all our unworthiness, God's love makes us worthy.
Here is one of my favorite songs that I hope will touch you guys as much as it did me.
Really, who are you that God would die for you?
You are His chosen children and He loves you enough to give His life for you.
God bless,
Breanna
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