The Lie of "Do what makes you happy"

Scrolling through Facebook, Pinterest and even Instagram, the message I continue to find is "Do what makes YOU happy". Or one of these other takes on it, "Do what you love." "Do what brings you joy." "Do what makes your soul happy". And I must admit, done up in the fancy script with the flowers or the beautiful scenery behind it, its aesthetically pleasing. The idea behind it is tempting as well! To live life in a way that it brings me joy, makes me happy, and involves what I love... I can't deny that it is very tempting.
The draw to live for one's self is very prevalent in the North American culture today. Within Canada, the sad decline into narcissism has just started to be more noticeable as it seemed to sneak into our society without people really noticing. Such a me centered world creates a bounty of problems and surprisingly, increases the amount of depression within society. One would think that if they were living for themselves, doing only things that bring them joy, that they love and what makes them happy, that they would be truly happy, but this does not seem to be the case.
Within my generation, there is a rise in depression so much so that specialists are actually concerned with the leap. And yet, these are the people who live by the "Do what makes you happy" mindset. How is it that the people who live to be happy and do what they want can be some of the most depressed, anxious and mentally messed up people out there?!
I have a theory, and you can take it or leave it. Those who focus mainly on themselves find life to be lacking and develop problems. Those who take a God focused mindset, while they may still struggle, tend to find true and lasting joy. Now let me unpack that a little bit for you.
Life is filled with wonderful things, things that bring joy, make you happy, make your heart smile or whatever you want to describe it like. But caught up in an imbalanced proportion, those things make you un-healthy or change from making you happy to making you unhealthy. When you live solely for being happy, the ability to handle things that will make you sad, will hurt, and will happen because its life kind of depletes. Narcissism tells us that we have the right and the obligation to only feel happy, joyful and good. But that truly isn't reality. Reality says that pain happens. Reality says that you have to go through hard times. And God says that HE WILL CARRY YOU THROUGH IT! Those who choose to live for God choose to live in the joy of the freedom He provides. When hard times come, when they have to do the things that they may not exactly want to do but it needs to get done, when days are bad, the joy of those living in freedom does not fade. God's joy is freedom. God's joy is not self-serving or binding. It isn't a trap. It doesn't force you into un-healthy habits. The freedom in living for God means that life has a purpose.
Think of chocolate chip cookies! How many people love chocolate chip cookies?! They make people happy! But if people only ate chocolate chip cookies, how sick and disgusting would they feel? The things that make people happy, may not be healthy when they are serving what they want. Serving God means that even though the chocolate chip cookies make you happy, you also know that a salad, chicken, and rice would make your body feel better for supper instead of only eating things that make you happy.
Realistically, life does not allow you to do only the things that make you happy. And living out the "do what makes you happy" mantra leads to a very disappointing life. Living for God and the freedom He provides leads to a joy-filled, fulfilling life.
Be careful what lies you believe. Be aware of Narcissism and how it sneaks in to kill, destroy and wreak havoc on your life. Set your heart on things greater than yourself and find a truly happy life.

Smiles,
Breanna

He Trusts Me

One year, two months and one day. That is how long I have been married for as of today (the day this blog is written). It seems like time has flown by! I cannot believe we have been married over a year already, and yet it seems as though I have been married for forever, in the most wonderful way of course! Through this first year of marriage I have grown so much as a person, and we have grown so much as a couple! We have been incredibly blessed to also have some married couples that have been willing to walk through this journey side by side with us. Together we are learning SO much about what God has designed marriage to be, about the ways we as wives can come beside and encourage our husbands, about financial planning, healthy living, and basically, learning to live as couples who daily strive to honor Jesus with all we do and say. It isn't easy, we aren't perfect, but it is a journey that is totally worth it!
One of the areas that I particularly have been growing in this year is in being a woman worthy of my husband's trust. Throughout this year I have been studying Proverbs 31 and what it means to be a woman and a wife who brings honor to God. Within the first couple months of married life, God placed a part of this passage on my heart. This verse has since then become one of my "life verses", through which God has continued to push me to grow and become more and more the woman He and Caleb need me to be. Provebs 31: 10-12 says, "An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life." Wow! I so desire to be the excellent wife that is more precious than jewels. And if we are all honest with ourselves, as wives, we all want to be thought of as the most precious thing that our husband has in life. But in my mind, the next part is the kicker! That is where God tapped me on the shoulder and said "Daughter, take notice of what an excellent wife does." An excellent wife does her husband GOOD and not harm! Right now you might be thinking well, duh Breanna. If she harmed him how could she be excellent. You're right... but there is more! Just hang out a sec and hear me out.
"The heart of her husband trusts in her...". Oh how I long for this. For Caleb's heart to trust in me. To know beyond a doubt I will not bring him harm. And truthfully, this harm I believe God is speaking of isnt just a simple thing... it can be a combination of many little things that are SO easy to do as a wife. Here are a few of the examples I can think of:

Breaking budget- Men are innately providers. God has placed it in their heart to provide for their families and they do this by daily working their butts off for us. As their wife, we are given access to their money to pay for groceries, bills, and everything else. But often times we become selfish and want to buy new clothes we don't actually need, extra treats we crave, top comforts to make our homes perfect, but by doing so we break the budget they have trusted us with. We harm their trust. We are devaluing their desire to provide for us by constantly seeking "more" and "better". We harm them. Now I'm not saying its always a bad thing to buy new outfits, treats, home-making things ect... what I am saying is if we break the "budget", if we make ourselves go farther in to debt, and if we don't seek out their opinions on larger purchases, they are hurt by us. We lose their trust in our abilities to respect their hard work and manage our homes well.

Bashing- If you're in a relationship, dating or married, you've probably been around a group of women/girls that all they said about their man was negative. From what they dont do, to what they do actually do, these poor guys seemed to never catch a break when it came to pleasing their woman. The gossip about their men seems to spread and soon, everyone within that circle of friends knows exactly how terrible of a boyfriend or husband that guy is. Because all that they ever hear is what he does wrong. Eventually this gets back to the guy himself and his self-esteem takes a plunge... sometimes so deep the guy will never recover and believe he can be a "great guy" again. I absolutely despise this habit women have. It is SO harmful to a relationship and to a guy in general. Not to mention that God calls us to respect our husbands! We are to be under them, which requires respect. If the words we say when they aren't around are not respectful, we truly are NOT respecting our husband. This bashing habit is so harmful not just to our men's self-esteem, but it will long term affect his reputation. It also creates a nasty habit in ourselves as wives to assume the worst about him. If we constantly assume the worst, instead of purposely thinking the best, we build ourselves up to be bitter women indeed. Their trust in us disappears, along with so many other good things. They are harmed.

Sex talk- This one might seem a bit random to some of you, but I have found that this is SUCH an important part of a healthy and trusting marriage. Sex details and talk should NEVER be a public topic. When you got married your bodies became one, as did your lives. "the two shall become one flesh" (Mark 10:8). Only two people became one. That doesn't mean all your friends, acquaintances and everyone else became one... you and your husband. Just you two. The world doesn't need to know details of your sex life. Intimacy is made to help strengthen a marriage and the trust between a husband a wife. When a woman (or husband for that matter) goes around sharing explicit details of their sex life, it is like emotionally placing their spouse naked in front of all that they are talking to. It is exposing the depths of their spouses heart for the world to see. Oh the pain it can cause. The utter agony of being completely and fully exposed by the one you trust with not just your heart but your body. How much harm can come from this nasty worldly habit of sharing too much. Not to mention the horror at arousing desires for your spouse in other people by sharing too many details. There are so many terrible relationship and trust wrecking side effects to this. I'm sure you will think of more as you truly ponder this. Sex talk to anyone other than our spouse harms them.

I know that there are more harmful things that wives can do to their spouses, but these are three that I feel as though God placed on my heart to share. They are by far the three most common ways I notice wives breaking the trust their husband has in them. We need to cut them out of our lives, out of our marriages, before it causes irreparable damage. If we truly desire to be more precious than jewels to our husbands, if we really want them to trust us, we need to ensure that we constantly bring them good things, and seek to never harm them. I know that deep in my heart, my greatest desires I have are to be everything Caleb needs as a wife, to be the woman God calls me to be, and to create a marriage reflecting Jesus. But the only way I will ever succeed in bringing God glory as a wife and as His daughter, is if I live out being called to be the woman my husbands heart can trust in. The world will see I am different through this, "He trusts me".

The Deal With Dating Well

Well here it goes! I'm about to share with cyber-world more about my relationship. So let me start back at the beginning. I met Caleb during my first year of college, but not at Bible College (no, we weren't one of those couples), we actually met as lifeguards at the pool. At the time I met him, he was dating someone else, and I wasn't really interested in dating. Not long after meeting him, Caleb was single again and began to pursue me. I was under the mind-set that I was NOT going to date again for at least a year after being dumped. Now what, you ask, changed my mind? Well, I had been praying that the right guy, when he came into my life, would pursue me differently than I had ever been pursued before. I desired romance and to feel like a princess, I am the typical romantic girl, who melts and flowers and walks through the trees at sunset. Not long after meeting him, Caleb was single again and began to pursue me. Caleb fulfilled all of that, he left me cute notes in my work locker, he figured out my favorite chocolate and left that in my locker, he purposely sought out my favorite things and asked to do them with me or for me to do them with him. It was very very hard not to fall for a man who truly wanted to know me and let me know who I was mattered. Eventually, he caught my full attention and I've been head over heels since then. Now comes the tricky part, actually surviving as a couple through dating.

Dating can be some pretty muddy waters sometimes. Don't get me wrong, dating is wonderful! It was and is fun, brings us joy and expands on our friendship and trust of each other. However, dating also gets your heart more involved and thats when you can end up in trouble. "Above all else, the heart is deceitful, who can know it?" (Jer. 17:9). This is truth guys! Your heart will tell you so many things that you may want to hear, but may be complete lies. The biggest lie that is faced in most relationships is the lie of "this is totally okay to do". As you are dating and your heart gets more involved, and it starts to long for closeness with the other person. It tells you that a simple kiss is okay, but then later will tell you that making-out is totally okay. Then it will say that your hands can go where they shouldn't, and it continues on from there. To date well, to understand dating, and to live out Christ within dating, one first must understand that the heart lies.
Second, a person must understand that "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23. If your heart is pure and has good intentions, if you guard your heart from the lies it may try to influence you with, if you rest your heart in God's hands by studying His word and seeking Him, you will reflect what is in your heart to every aspect of your life, including your dating life.  You will be able to romance your boyfriend or girlfriend and show them love in a God honoring way. You will be the person that they need and that God calls you to be, because you are first loving God in your life. This is the ultimate key to dating well that Caleb and I found. To properly love one another, we first had to fully and whole-heartedly love God. It took us a while to figure out the key to dating well was to not trust what our hearts said but to instead dig way deeper into God and find what He calls us to do. But once we learned that, our relationship grew, it had foundation and we could stand without being shaken. My desire is that you would be able to avoid the shaky times, and start out your relationship by knowing that your heart will lie, but God always tells us the truth. Knowing that through Him, your dreams for what love is like and your deep desire to be loved and romanced will be fulfilled, and He might just add a boyfriend or girlfriend into the mix too.

Smiles,
Breanna

Me, Me, Me, Me... oh and Me

One of the things that has struck me deeply during my Theology course is the incredible self-centered mindset of the post-modern age we are living in. This post-modern theology has seeped into our churches widely among the young adults and youth, but even in some of the older members. It has become all about finding a church body that fulfills "my" needs. That serves "me". That "I" feel at home in. That sings music "I" like. That agrees with "my" views. No longer has it become important to serve the body of Christ. No longer is it all about "Him". People leave churches and even Bible schools all because one time, someone says something the disagree with. Instead of learning about it and growing in their faith, they leave. The desire to serve God by loving the church body and serving them has left. It is all about "me".
Friendships are broken because people don't show up to baby/bridal/whatever showers because they have to work or have prior commitments. People fight because the worship leader played too many hymns or too many modern worship songs. Or even they have a different style of leading than the team is used to. All hell breaks loose if the pastor shows any intolerance for any type of people group, even if what the pastor says is based on Biblical truth. Churches fight and divide over small disagreements that are blown up into a big deal. Different denominations think everything about the other one is "wrong" because it doesn't agree with what they think. The body of Christ is smashed into a billion pieces who are constantly fighting against each-other. How then does this look to those outside of our faith? How then does the world see Christianity? As a bunch of hypocrites who can't even get along with their friend in the church and are so easily offended when someone can't make an event that they leave? Or they hated the way the music sounded so they wont have anything to do with that church anymore? How is that what we want to show people? How is that okay?!
The body of Christ is ALL believers. It is all churches. Across the whole world. When we fight, when we hurt, when we ignore, when we gossip and lie about the people in our churches, the people in other churches, or any believer, we are breaking apart the reflection of Christ we are supposed to be. We are bit by bit tearing apart Christ's bride. All because of "me". Because "I" didn't like that. Because "I" wasn't pleased. Because "my" party wasn't full of people. Because the worship leader played music "I" didn't like in a style "I" find annoying. Because this Sunday "I" don't agree with the pastor.
When has being a Christian been about "me"? When has Christ dying ever been just about "me"? Yes, Christ loves me. Yes, He died to save me, but He also died to save the pastor I disagree with. The family who one Sunday didn't say hi to me. The worship leader who can never please everyone by his/her music choices. Christ died for them! That we as a body of believers might bring glory to Him... by fighting?! Because of "me"? No. By placing Him in the place of "me".
During this Christmas season, I am again blown away by God's incredible trust of humans. That He allowed a human girl to carry Himself in human form. That humans raised Him. That He believed a human capable of raising God as a child. And then I look around now and I see no reason for God to choose to trust us, or love us because of our selfishness. How sad is this? That we are so selfish that we don't even see the grace of God through all of the "me"? I encourage and challenge you readers to take time to look beyond the "me" in your life, and to see others around you that perhaps need you to be with them during this season in their lives. Maybe it will mean sacrifice on your part as you lay down the "me" for "Him". But in doing this, maybe, just maybe, we can slowly piece back together the body of believers and actually work together to reflect Christ to a world so broken.

Blessings,
Breanna

Intro To My New Blog Series

Hey all!

It has been absolutely too long since I have been posting on here and I have seriously missed it. There has been so much happening in my life in the past two years. Currently I am finishing my last course for my Diploma in Youth Ministry (WOHOO!), working as a swim instructor/lifeguard, oh and I GOT MARRIED! Surprise! haha Yes, I have a lot of blogging to catch up on! And that is one of my reasons for my new series of blog posts. I have had a few friends ask me to blog and document my story and journey through dating, engagement, and the first few months of marriage and just continue on with that. My goal with this is, that I would be able to help as many men and women, young and old, as I can to ensure you all have an idea about the struggles, challenges, joys and fun that dating properly can bring. That living out a God honoring engagement brings. And with God's help, being a God honoring spouse in a strong marriage can bring.

Right now, I am preparing to be a speaker for a jr/sr high youth girls retreat where I am supposed to share with the girls what is so important about dating well. So my first post in this series will be The Deal With Dating Well. I will give a bit more background to Caleb and my romance as well and share a bit about the challenges and joys we found through dating. I pray these posts will be a blessing to all of you who are reading them and that you will be encouraged to stand true to God's Word and live out His love in your relationships.

Blessings,

Breanna

For the Love of Gifts! Use Yours!

Throughout my first semester of Bible school I have been studying spiritual gifts a lot. And today I realized something I never had before. 1st Corinthians 13 is about spiritual gifts. Like WHAT?! I thought it was just saying that if you don't have love in your life then you really have nothing... but nope it is a lot more than that! First lets look at some of what spiritual gifts are and why you have them.

So basically God gives believers spiritual gifts in order for us to go out and to love others. They are given so we can better fulfill the great commission to go out and make disciples in all nations. Everyone who believes is given a spiritual gift and some are given many gifts but few know what their gift is and even less use their gift to its fullest potential. This to me is not exactly a great thing. We are given these gifts not to keep to our selves but to bless others with. And THAT is where 1st Corinthians 13 comes in. I encourage you to pull out your Bible or go onto Biblegateway.com and read over 1st Corinthians 13. As you read it, look at what it is really talking about. Take for example verse 1. If I speak in the TONGUES of man or of angels. Oh! Tongues! That's one of the spiritual gifts! Wait... what does verse 2 say? Prophesy and faith... hmm those are also spiritual gifts! Verse 3? The gift of giving. Yep! Keep reading! 

Finished it now? Well to summarize, it basically lists some of the spiritual gifts... and then goes on to say that if you do not have love with them, then they are not helpful... in fact they become useless or annoy and hinder others from knowing God! Kind of crazy? Well what exactly does this love have to include? Well for us to use our spiritual gifts with love, we must use the love that is described later in the passage. 

(4-8a) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

While we as believers are given spiritual gifts, we are to use them in love for others. They are not to be horded away and used selfishly, they are not to be used to boost our ego and become prideful, and they are not to be used to belittle others. As part of the Body of Christ our gifts are to be used along side each other to draw others to Him. For us to be an active body of Christ, we must be using all of our gifts, and that means knowing what they are and how best to use them.

I really encourage you as a follower of Jesus to use the gifts you have and to nurture them so that you will be able to use them to the best of your ability. And when you use them, remember to do it in love. Because with love, nothing will fail.

God Bless,
Breanna

Update On Me :)

Hey all! Sorry I haven't posted in like... forever!! :( Life has been pretty busy! So here's an update to catch you up on everything that's been going on in a very... general way. ;P

I AM DONE HIGHSCHOOL! Yep! I graduated! As of June 25th 2013 I was finished all highschool exams and classes. :) Only very exciting! Exams and homework kept me super busy for many many months. I am so thankful I am done with them... at least for highschool.

I am moving! Yep! You heard me right! :P My family is staying where they are, but I am moving for school... which brings me to the next thing!

I am going to Bible college! :) Yeaah... in case you hadn't figured it out by now I kind of am crazy about God... so am greatly looking forward to digging deeper into His word and learning more about Him. :)

What am I going to take...? Well so far my plan is to for sure do a one year program which will get me a certificate in Bible. However, my hope is that if after the one year I will be able to continue on and get a double Bachelor of Arts, majoring in theology and possibly youth ministry! :)  I am so very excited about this opportunity I have been given and ask that you would pray for wisdom and direction for me as I continue to seek after God. Pray also for my family as we are not used to being apart and it will be a huge transition to have me not at home.

Thanks so much for being patient with me as dealt with all the craziness in my life. :) Hopefully I will be able to post more often!!

May God bless you greatly!

Breanna

PS if you have any prayer requests, be sure to comment below!

Why Should I?!

Ever been so hurt by someone you can't breath? It really sucks. Like... a lot. And sometimes it hurts a long time after. That feeling you get when you think about it... and remember what you did too... and how you ended up hurting yourself and the other person... its hard to forget. Even harder to forgive. But in reality, the only way to heal is to forgive. Them. And then yourself. Why? I'll explain it to you so you understand why I think it is super important. Ok? 

I personally believe that hanging onto the bitterness and hurt in the end only hurts you. Holding a grudge places a wall on your heart and makes it hard for you to feel God's love and hear His leading. By holding onto an unforgiving mindset, you are also blocking God's forgiveness for your own sin against Him. While they may have sinned against you, how many times have you sinned against Him?

"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." Matthew 6:14-15

This verse also can apply to forgiveness of yourself. You are also one off those "men" (or women) who can sin against yourself, others, and God. And sometimes it can be so hard to forget. The truth of it is... you may never forget how you screwed up. Those major mistakes? You may remember them for the rest of your life. The thing is it is your choice on if you want to dwell on them and allow them to turn into bitterness and unforgiveness towards yourself or if you want to ask God to take those hurts and heal them. So while you may remember those mistakes... that does not mean you are stuck in unforgiveness for them. Honestly though. Who are you to say "I screwed up too badly. I cant forgive myself. I don't deserve ________(insert the thing you are wanting to succeed at whether its a relationship or a job or whatever). I've messed up too much to be good enough for _____. I wont ever be able to forgive myself or if I do it will only be if "such and such a thing" happens." Why are you saying that?! Don't you see that God does forgive you but you need to forgive yourself in order to receive the true healing that comes from being fully forgiven and free in Christ? As the verse says, if you wont forgive yourself God will not forgive you. This isnt something little!! This is major! You may work through the grudge and bitterness you hold towards someone else but you may not forgive yourself... that's still holding back God's forgiveness and its not something to take lightly or to not think about. I know I've said this before in a post but I truly believe this is sooo important. Do not let your pride and your high standards get ahead of God's opinion and standards for your life.  Whats more important, God's forgiveness or your forgiveness? What are you willing to do to fully embrace God's forgiveness? Think about it! Are you willing to put aside your pride and let God heal you fully? Are you willing to mend broken relationships that you let fall apart when you didn't fully embrace God's forgiveness? Are you willing to risk messing up again and having to go back to God and ask again and again for His forgiveness and His grace in your life? Are you willing to submit yourself to Him? The Bible promises in 1st John 1:9 that, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and cleanse/purify us from all unrighteousness."  When you think of something pure do you think of mold? Do you think of garbage? Do you think of broken things? Probably not! When Jesus says that He will purify us that means completely pure. So those mistakes you made... they're gone! Why? Because you forgave the other person, you forgave yourself, and you let God forgive and heal you. That is why I believe forgiveness is so very very important. And it is never ever to late to be forgiven. I encourage you as you think about what I wrote down and Jesus' words to search your heart and see if there is any bitterness, anger, or unforgiveness dwelling within you. How is that holding you back? My challenge to you now is to let it go. Forgive. Forgive the person who hurt you. Forgive yourself for messing up. And let God's healing, love and peace fill your heart and life. Don't let that hurt keep you from reaching for Him or for the people and opportunities He places in your life. Do not miss out on the love that you can have. 

Blessings,

Breanna

Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

Lets play a quick game of "Have You Ever". Basically, in my version... if you have done one of these things then I want you to draw a red X on a piece of paper. Ready? Lets try it!

Have you ever... known you were wrong but not apologized?
Have you ever... done something nice just to get noticed for it?
Have you ever... compared yourself to other people to make yourself feel better?
Have you ever... decided that you can't learn anything from one of your leaders/teachers?
Have you ever... spent an entire conversation talking only about you without asking about the other person?
Have you ever... decided you were too good or to much "above" someone to learn from them?
Have you ever... been defensive when you receive criticism?
Have you ever... wanted someone to serve you constantly or expected to be served?
Have you ever... thought you were better than someone?
Have you ever... thought someone who messed up deserved whatever happened to them?
Have you ever... thought everyone else can mess up but you cant?
Have you ever... tried to justify why you are sinning?
Have you ever... took full credit for something that was a team effort?
Have you ever... stopped depending on God and started depending on yourself?
Have you ever... said "God can forgive me, but I can't forgive myself"?
Have you ever... used someone else's sin to justify your own?
Have you ever... put someone down for their sin?
Have you ever... been easily offended?
Have you ever... demanded to be the center of attention?
Have you ever... done something that should be to honor God just so others would see you're good at it?
Have you ever... been unwilling to serve or do something for someone else?
Have you ever... thought that you don't need God to accomplish something?
Have you ever... thought of yourself first?
Have you ever... had to top someone just because you couldn't let someone be better than you?
Have you ever... stolen someone's spot light because you didn't want to admit they were good at something you arent?

Ok...Do you have your red X's now? But what do they mean? What do all those questions have to do with saving yourself from a wreck? Well they all have a basic reason behind them that you may or may not have picked up on. Pride. Yep, all the reasons you have an X written down, that's pride. Big, bold, and red. Surprise! You have pride issues! And here's something you may have expected... so do I! And it is not good.

Basically pride is thinking of yourself as greater than everything. Yep, even God. See why I say its not good? Here are some Biblical reasons why.

In Obadiah God is displeased with the pride He sees in the city of Edom and so He responds with "The pride of your heart has deceived you, you who live in the clefts of the rock, in your lofty dwelling, who say in your heart, "Who will bring me down to the ground?" Though you soar aloft like the eagle, though your nest is set amount the stars, from there I will bring you down, declares the Lord." (Obadiah 1:3-4) From these verses I want you to see and start to understand just how much God dislikes pride. Pride is deceiving it creates a false sense of security and confidence while covering up all the sin, hurt, and brokenness of the person. Instead of finding full forgiveness in God, people say they can't be forgiven or can't forgive themselves. This causes a lot of emotional problems and a feeling of separation between you and God. Instead of allowing others to lead or be the center of attention at appropriate times, people take over everything and have to be in the spot light. This leads to strained relationships and takes God's right to the best of your abilities and places the glory back on you. Comparing yourself to others either leads to a false sense of being better than someone, or a false sense of being worth nothing. Both are only looking at your opinion of yourself and saying that God's isn't most important. Being unwilling to learn from others whether older, younger, or the same age as you leads to ignorance and arrogance. God values knowledge about Him. There are many many more, but you can see how pride affects so many aspects of life and  how easily some of them go unchecked or un-noticed.

In Psalm David talks many times about pride and how it pulls people away from God.
Psalm 10:4 "In the pride of his face the wicked does not seek him; all his thoughts are, 'There is no God'."
Psalm 31:18 "Let the lying lips be mute, which speak insolently against the righteous in pride and contempt."
Psalm 31:23 "Love the Lord, all you his saints! The Lord preserves the faithful but abundantly repays the one who acts in pride."
David was considered a man after God's own heart. And he detested prideful people and showed again and again in his teachings and writings that God will punish the prideful.

Solomon is considered to be the wisest man to live. God poured His wisdom out onto Solomon. In Solomon's Proverbs, he shows why pride is not something God values and also what God seeks to find in His people.
Proverbs 8:13 "The fear of the Lord is hatred of evil. Pride and arrogance and the way of evil and perverted speech I hate." (Ummm kay God doesnt just dislike pride, he calls it evil and hates it.)
11:2 "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom."
16:18 "Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall."
29:23 "One's pride will bring him low, but he who is lowly in spirit will obtain honor."

Back to Psalm for a sec to contrast some of the pride with what God desires.
Psalm 149:4 "For the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He adorns the humble with salvation."
God values humbleness and humility.
Matthew 23:12 says, "Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted."
When we live in pride we are setting ourselves away from God and who He is. Since God detests pride, He is not prideful. So what is He? He is humble. God could be a huge show off and make us all believe in Him, but instead He chose to be humble and to come to save us by becoming one of us. How much more humble could He be than becoming one of His own creation? "And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross." Philippians 2:8. To be walking with God in a proper relationship and to be honestly and fully seeking to become more like Him, we need to address our pride. We need to be willing to become humble enough to follow Him to the cross.

We must remember that God is love. And pride has no part in love. It cannot fit into a relationship with humans or with God. If we truly desire to live for and to love Him, we cannot have pride. If we want to reflect Him in our relationships and friendships, we cannot be prideful.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud." (1 Corinthians 13:4) God is love. God cannot be proud. We are called to model Him in our lives. We really need to work on our pride.

I pray that this will make you think, and help you to grow closer to Him.

God bless,
Breanna

Oh No! A Big Decision! What Do I Do?!?!

Hey! So I'm back! :) I know I was away for some time, school has been slightly chaotic lately. Anyways I have some big choices to make in my life soon. I have to figure out where I want to go in the future and such. Its a scary prospect, thinking that my choices now affect so much of my life for the future. The decisions I make now will change and mold how I want my future to look. So how am I to know what to choose? How do I make a well informed choice that will glorify God? How can I make the wisest choice possible with the knowledge I am given? Well... I'm going to talk a bit about how I've been learning is the right way (smart way) to make a well informed wise decision about something big in life. Whether its to do with work, school, relationships, or anything that affects large parts of your life, there needs to be a lot of thought put into it before you do something. Rushed decisions don't tend to end very well. So here are some of the ways I have learned to help me make the "right" decision.

Probably the most important thing to keep in mind is that glorifying God is the main goal in this! It is not "what will be the easiest way to make the most money" or "What is the fastest way to be done school" or "How can my girlfriend/boyfriend make me feel and look good and if they cant why should I keep them around" or "If I dump this person then it will make life so much easier for me". The main goal of any choice you make is what is the best way I can glorify God in this? What is the best way I can live Him out in my choice? If it means that you end up working somewhere you dont get paid a lot but you influence many lives for God then would it be worth it? If it means taking the 10 years and becoming a Dr would you do it? If it means thinking of your boyfriend/girlfriend first would you be willing to? Remember, in all choices glorifying God is your main objective. 1st Corinthians 10:31 " So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God."

A huge thing is before you react to something or make your choice, figure out what was influencing you to think that way? Where are your influences coming from and are they from? Are the things influencing you trust worthy? Are they God honoring things? Most people dont stop to think about why they are thinking something, they just react. So I highly encourage you to stop and think for a minute about what influences your thinking about relationships? What influences your thinking about school? What influences your thinking about work? Are the things influencing you good things?

This is actually huge when it comes to who your friends are. If you look at your closes friends and the people you spend the most time talking to and hanging out with, would you be okay being like them? Those who are closest to you are the people who influence your thinking the most. Be aware of that when you have major life choices to make. Do you want to end up like the people you surround yourself with? Will ending up like that glorify God?

After you think of this, then spend some time digging into God's word, praying, and spending quiet time listening. Seek His heart through His words. After you spent time praying and seeking God, you should have some idea of what to choose. With this in mind... now we come to one of the huge steps that I believe is super important. Proverbs 12:15 says, "The way of a fool seems right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice." At this point I highly highly encourage you to seek counsel from others. But be careful with who you ask. From my experiences in my short life... I have learned that people my age tend to be just as lost as me. People younger than me tend not to be in the same boat quite yet. So while asking their opinions may be good, be careful of their advice. It may not be based on the wisdom that comes only from experience. Instead, seek advice from people older than you. This may sound crazy but ask your parents for their advice! Sit down with your pastor and ask them what they think of it. If you have an older mentor, ask them. Seek advice from multiple people who have the life experience, who lead Godly lives, and who know you well enough to give you honest opinions. Proverbs 11:14 states, "Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety." If what they say goes with what you were thinking, then you are quite possibly headed in the right direction, but if they do not agree with what you were thinking, then take their words seriously and wait and pray more. Have them pray with you about it and come back after a while and talk about it again. Don't just brush aside the advice that you are given, but weigh it carefully. Remember that your main objective is to glorify God.

God says in Psalm 32:8, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you." He will instruct you and teach you. He will counsel you on what to do. But you must first seek Him. Hopefully what I have said will help you be able to do that with clarity and purpose.

May God bless you!

In His Hands,
Breanna

A Not So Simple Fairy Tale

Ok, so today I don't really have any advice to share. Today I really dont know what to say. So instead I'm going to tell you a story. And maybe you will learn something from it.

There once was a girl who gave her all in everything she did. She knew that God gave her the ability to do so many things and that to glorify Him she needed to do her best. All through her life she gave her best in everything she did. From painting or drawing to math to swimming to being a friend, she gave her all in everything. One day when she was old enough to start noticing boys, one boy came into her life that was so very different. He had a slightly dangerous air about him but was sweet to her and treated her like a princess. This was very new and different for her as she had always been just another one of the "guys". This boy became her best friend, her confidant, her secret keeper, and the person she loved. He meant the world to her. But along the way, she did something she shouldnt have. She didnt listen to or obey her parents. They asked her to wait because they werent completely sure about some things but she didnt listen. She gave her heart to this boy and set her dreams on him. In the end, she had to choose. To obey God she had to obey her parents but that meant she had to give up him. She made her choice. She chose God. He came first and He was most important even if it crushed her to give him up she knew that God would provide if she just trusted him.

So for a long time after that she prayed and prayed that God would provide a man that would be her best friend, who would adore her, who she could have fun with, and who would love Him as much as she did. A while later that man appeared. He was completely an answer to her prayers. He was everything and more that she had hoped for. He surprised her with gifts, with visits, and adored her in a way no one ever had. He looked at her like she was his world and he became hers. She adored him and cared about him as much as was humanly possible. When he asked her out she said yes knowing that with her yes she would be giving him her heart and her best with the blessing of her parents. Everything was all or nothing and she chose all with him. In every little thing she did after then she thought of him and how she could best show him how much she cared and for a while it seemed as if he did the same. But slowly it became just her. She couldn't understand what was happening and how he could look at her with so much love and kiss her and hold her and tell her all these things and then just shut off. So she tried still. Believing that God had provided for her prayers and knowing that this man was what she prayed for. She did all she could think of to let him know how much she cared and how far she would have gone to make it work. But he didn't respond even remotely like what she thought he would. Instead he ended things and walked away. She was so very very hurt. Not only had she given him her heart on a silver platter, but she had given him a piece of her forever and he had walked away driving a knife through her tender heart. Crushed. Broken. Alone. The feelings that haunted her. Why was her best not good enough for him? How is it that an answer to prayer, a dream come true, could turn so suddenly into her worst nightmare? Why would God bring him into her life only to rip Him out?

The answer... God did answer her prayer by bringing him into her life. He taught her so many things. He taught her that a healthy relationship is centered on God. That a relationship is all about serving the other person and putting their needs above your own. That if a relationship is going to work one person cant be giving their all when the other only gives part because it is exhausting for the one person. And that good, God-fearing, loving, wonderful men are actually out there! (Ladies, take hope! They do exist). God also didnt rip him out of her life. That man chose to leave. God placed them together for a reason but it may have only been for a season. Either way God didn't make him leave, he chose to walk away. God wouldn't hurt her in such a deep way, in fact He would be crying with her and holding her close sheltering her from the brunt of all the hurt. While she may never understand why, she knows that just like before she will choose to trust God. And this time she knows that if she gives her all to God, nothing can bring her down.

While she was hurting, God also poured out His love into her life. He sustained her through every moment and provided amazing friends and family to be there beside her to lift her up when she couldn't walk and to hold her close when she felt broken. He showed her how much He cares about each part of her life by placing people in all of the areas who would encourage her and point her right back to Him and His love. While the earthly man may change his love and walk away, she knows her Heavenly Love will never leave her side. While he was an answer to prayer and he gave her a glimpse of what love looks like, she knows that the man she marries she will love more than she could understand and that God loves her even more than that. How great is God's love? How vast beyond all measure?  And with her God and her incredible friends and family, she knows that she will make it. She knows that God has a future for her that will be incredible and she chooses to give her all to glorifying Him in her life right now. She is still an all or nothing girl, it is how He made her. But she chooses in everything to give her all to Him. Because He still asks for nothing less than her all. He asks for all of her life. All of her trust. All of her love. And that is what she will give Him.

God Bless,
Breanna

What I Wish More People Knew About Dating

Okay, so the very first thing I think more people should realize about dating is that you're not just dating that boy or that girl. Nope! You are dating God's creation! You are dating God's son or daughter! If that doesn't make you stop and think about how you act, then the rest of what I say really doesn't matter.

Now that I mentioned that, the next thing you need to keep in mind is that dating a non-Christian actually is a big deal. God does call us to not be unequally yoked in our marriages (aka Christian with non-Christian). Dating eventually leads to marriage, so how is dating a non-Christian ok? Its not! It is so much easier for a person to pull you down than it is for you to lift that person up. In other words... no missionary dating!

Next people need to realize that dating at young ages really wont help you in the long run and it may in fact harm things. What if you date the person that you would have married too early? Then things get messy and you break up because you were too young for it to progress into marriage. That... isn't a good thing. Please please PLEASE consider your age when you think about dating!

When you start to date, you need to be sure that you are ready for it. Truly you need to be ready for the type of investment you will be making with your time and your heart. If you aren't ready to commit for a long time then you aren't ready to date (sorry, but its true). It is not ok to say you'll commit for a long time then pull out. That is not fair to the person you are dating and is very painful for them. And that also sets you up badly for marriage as well... you cant just all of a sudden decide you're not ready to be married when you are married. That just doesn't work. If you commit to it... stick to it!

Realize that when you ask someone to date you or say yes to dating someone, even if you don't think you will get emotionally involved, you will. Be prepared for this and guard your heart accordingly.

Keep in mind that there is not a guarantee that your relationship will work out, so do not share things with them that you will regret after.

If the person interested in you is ditching another relationship to be with you... that is NOT ok. Why in the world would you date someone who would ditch their relationship for you? Sure it may make you think "man, they really like me a lot" but what's to say they wont do that to you later? If that is what they're doing and what they're like, then run far away!

Similarly, if they cheat on you and come back... say no!! If they can do that while dating you, why would they stay faithful when they are married to you?

Putting each other down even in fun is not ok! Neither is always play bickering or trying to get on the other's nerves. Eventually all of those things become real. If the world is already trying to bring you down, why would you want to be with someone who does that too? It hurts. Build each other up! In everything you say to each other or to other people about each other, let it be good and helpful.

"I love you" actually means something! Please keep it that way! Don't say "I love you" after the first 2 hours of dating someone. You don't really love them... :P Sure you are highly attracted to them, but loving them comes from knowing them and serving them. That doesn't happen over night. And if someone says "I love you" to you, be sure that they actually back it up for the long run by not just their words, but their actions!

And by actions I do not mean they have sex with you. SEX IS NOT LOVE! Outside of marriage all sex is is lust. By actions I mean that they go out of their way to make sure you are ok, to keep you safe, and to honor you as their boyfriend/girlfriend but also as their brother/sister in Christ!

On the topic of sex... I want to point out that kissing, holding hands, and the stuff that the world considers to be little actually means a lot. If you think about your future spouse, the things you give away to someone now that isn't going to be your spouse, is stuff you are stealing from the person who actually is going to be your spouse. Also, the things you do with the person you are dating... you are depriving and stealing from their future spouse. Please think that over! Mull over it, consider it, think about it, and try to comprehend it. It made me do a double take when I realized that.

Guys, just so you know, girls view kissing very differently than you do. You may consider it an experience and may love it and it may feel amazing, but for girls its different. Girls view kissing as something very precious. Its a way that we give a guy our trust, our love, and our heart. It leaves us vulnerable. While it may make the guys feel powerful, it makes girls feel vulnerable. So even those things you may think are "little" actually are big and mean a whole lot more.

Please realize this and know that it is true. Unless you are married to someone and you are considered by God to be one body, then you have absolutely no right to any part of their body! None! That covers all parts of intimacy! If you are living out your love for God and your future spouse, then why would you treat the person you are dating any differently than a married person would treat someone not their spouse? It may be hard to think about and you may not agree, but think about it! Please, just think it through. :)

"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart." 2 Timothy 2:22

People will say things in a moment, but unless they live it out for a long time... be careful!

If it comes to a point where the relationship is not working and you know it needs to end because it is not pleasing to God... then don't make stupid excuses, don't tell them it is because you're not good enough for them, don't say its because you need to work on _______ before you're ready to date, and don't say you realized they weren't good enough. Those are stupid excuses! MAN (or woman) UP! Take the fall for your choices, and end things without putting the blame on them, or on God. Be straight with them. If you're going to break their heart or hurt them, the least you can do is be honest, open, and gentle with them!

Do not ask to be friends or try to stay friends with your ex. 1. A friend would never hurt you how your ex did. A friend would have looked out for your interest, not their own. 2. This isn't fair to you! Your emotions were involved and if you're always hoping that it will go back to how it was, then that really isnt fair to your heart. 3. It isnt fair to your future boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse to always have an ex hanging around. That just isnt cool. No one wants to be reminded that there was someone around before them!

Relationships take two! And if only one of you is working for it... it will not work. :( Trust me. Even if you put your all into making it work, unless the other person tries too then the relationship will die.

Dating isn't easy. It takes work. It takes time. It hurts. Its wonderful. Its painful. It has ups. It has downs. You have to work for it, but anything good is worth the work. And if the person makes you happy, if its honoring to God, if you're comfortable and can be yourself around them, and if they are wanting to serve you and in turn serve God, then why wouldn't you work for it?

God bless!

Breanna

Walking Blind

Have you ever tried to walk around your house with your eyes closed? Your house is your ground, a place that you know, that you are familiar with, but when you close your eyes its hard to move around without walking into something, knocking something over, or hurting someone or yourself. This is kind of like your faith in God. You think living out your faith is comfortable, easy, and familiar, until you are asked to step out and walk blind. That is when panic and procrastination comes in. Both not good things.

I know right now God hasn't shown me a "clear path" for where I should go. I feel a bit in the dark about life in general and its a confusing, scary, and slightly frustrating place to be in. Me being the one who wants to control my life, wants to know where I should go, what I should do, who I should do it with, and when! But God hasn't shown me any of those, and honestly He may never fully tell me those things before they happen, but I know that He will guide me. How do I know? Well that's where the faith part comes in. I have FAITH that God will guide me. I cant always see where He will take me, but I know He will take me there.

"For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened- not that we would be unclothes, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.

So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil." 2 Corinthians 5:1-10

We don't know exactly what we're doing here on earth, but we do know where we are going! Our walk here on our earthly home is blind. We do not see what is truly going on around us or where our next step will land, we just know that we have a home in heaven and that is where we belong. While it is hard and I still have no idea where I'm going here on earth, I do know where I am going for eternity and I know that while I am on earth, no matter where my path may go, I can always choose to honor God. I am of good courage knowing that even though I am walking blind on earth and don't know where my step will fall, God will provide the path I need to best glorify Him and will someday take my broken, battered tent and replace it with a mansion.

God bless,
Breanna

A Relationship Wrecking Ball

Ok so this is something that I've noticed is a huge deal for people who are in dating relationships or who are married. This is something that actually breaks relationships apart and to me, its something that really needs to be addressed. This thing is known to many of you as "like" or "attraction". Now when you are not in a relationship, liking someone or being attracted to them is not that big of a deal. In fact, its expected and normal and totally ok! :) So what happens when you're in a relationship with an amazing person, but you notice someone else? What happens when you are attracted to someone other than your boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife? Well here's what I see happening most often...

First there is a couple. They are super happy, they adore each other, and they know that they are dating/married to someone who has the same values and beliefs as them. They are incredible together and their relationship is God honoring. And then.... one of them notices someone else who is nice, good looking, and maybe they have fun with. But they are caught, because they have someone in their life already. They are torn between the "newness" of this new person and the deep commitment they have with the other person. This causes a LOT of confusion and hurt for all of the people involved. And the relationship ends up breaking apart because the person attracted to the new person can not let go of the new person or the idea of them.

I'm sure lots of you have seen this happen in your friends' dating relationships and sadly even in marriages. It is completely heart breaking... and really I don't understand it. But it happens and it is completely horrible. So what does God think of this crazy horrible thing?

For marriages in particular, the Bible states that "Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh." Genesis 2:24 How can  you separate something that is one flesh without completely killing both halves and ripping them apart? The truth? You cant.
Paul states plainly what the view of divorce is in 1st Corinthians 7:10-11, "To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does she should remain unmarried or reconcile to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife." Does any of that say "If you are attracted to a new person its totally ok to ditch your husband/wife and go with this other person"? Nope, in fact it doesn't leave room for that. It says not to leave your husband/wife. So attraction to another person should not get in the way of marriages! But why does it?

Because people stop thinking about God and about their spouse and start thinking about themselves and their selfish desires. When you take your eyes off of pleasing God and being the best person you can be for Him and how you can best serve your significant other, then you start focusing on your self and that is when these sins slip in. This is the same for dating relationships and why people cheat or they break up because they just don't "feel into it anymore". Feelings don't really have a ton to do with being committed  Yes, attraction is a good thing, however those fuzzy feelings fade and then you are left with the real person. True commitment comes when you know the real person and you CHOOSE to stay with them. And what happens when you notice another new attractive person? Is it a huge sin? Is it wrong? Well... in all honestly I believe that you may always notice an attractive person. However, commitment comes in when you realize that you already are with an amazing person and God has already provided you with someone to love and who loves you, and you can walk away from that new person knowing that you are choosing to be committed. Is it wrong to notice an attractive person? No, it is only wrong to cheat on the person you are dating/married to. Really its an eye to thought connection. Your eyes can notice something, but unless you let your brain dwell on it, then its just something you  notice but don't really think about. When you see someone else that is attractive, as long as you don't dwell on it, it is just something you notice, more of a fact that doesn't really affect you. It is when you let it sit in your mind and you dwell on it that the trouble starts. God asks us to dwell on things that are pleasing to Him, so is dwelling on someone who isn't the person you have committed to honoring to God? Where your thoughts are, there your heart will be also. Be careful not to let your mind wander, and your heart won't be as quick to follow.

Commitment isn't NOT noticing an attractive person, it is walking away from them knowing you already are dating/married to an amazing person. God has provided you with an amazing man/woman so why would you need anything else? He provides for our needs, so trust Him and stay committed.

Breanna

This Is My Friend... Or Are They More?

When you think of someone who is in your life who is a "true friend" what are some of the qualities you identify in them? Do you know what makes that person such a fantastic friend? Here are some of the reasons I think my true friends and best friends are such wonderful friends.

1. They seek the best for the other. My best friends seek the best for me. They want me to have the best of everything, even if it means giving something up themselves. They willingly sacrifice for me even if it makes it hard for them or puts them out.

2. They will laugh with me. Sometime's at me, but never in a mean way. They always laugh with me, even when its those little stupid things.

3. They cry with me. My friends understand when I am hurting and they hurt for me. They don't try to fix it, they just hurt with me, hold me, and pray me through it.

4. They take time for me. They will always take time out for me. :) For me, quality time means a LOT! I know they care because they take time for me. This comes out in them taking time to care about the little and big things in my life.

5. They actually care! No seriously, they care. They don't just ask me how I'm doing because they're being polite and really want me to ask it back so they can vent... they ask because they care. They go out of their way to show me that they care in sooo many ways! From giving me hugs, worship music, sermons, Bible verses, and Kleenex when I'm broken to laughing, dancing, screaming, hugging, and smiling with me when something exciting happens.

6. They are always there! Sometimes I don't even recognize that I really really need a friend or someone to be there with me and for me, but they always seem to pick up on it and are always there for me! Its incredible! I am so very blessed to have friends who are always there for me.

7. They love me! Not in a romantic way, but in a real, accepting, caring, brother/sister way.

I could come up with so much more as to why my friends are amazing, but I think you get the idea. :) Jesus had some pretty amazing friends too! And Jesus, Himself, was an incredible friend. John 15:13 says, "Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one's life for one's friends." Jesus was the absolute best friend there ever could be, because He willingly sacrificed His life for His friends. For you. That's right! Jesus is your friend. ;) Also He is the only friend who will never let you down and whose love for you is greater than anyone on earth's love could ever be! So there's my thought for today.

Now... a lot of you guys and girls have amazing friends of the opposite sex who do all this wonderful stuff and really genuinely care about you. And a lot of times you can get confused as to what they mean by it. Are they really just your friend? Or are they more? Do they like you as more?
In all honestly I have wondered the same thing, and jeopardized some amazing friendships because of it. If a guy is super nice to me my brain will go "oooo! He must like you!" or "he totally wants something out of this". And that is NOT fair of me. It is an extremely human response, not a Godly response. I shouldn't be thinking those things. And I am really working and growing in that area of my life as I have some amazing guys who actually are just my friends. They are teaching me a lot about how guys care about girls but as friends, and my mind-set on friendship with the opposite sex is changing. How, you ask? Here, let me explain a bit.
In general, I have learned that guys and girls are built to care. We are made to care for each other  Its just part of how we are made. This does not mean we "like" that person in a romantic way, it just means we care.  Yes, people who like each other care about each other, but friends care about each other too. Friends love each other! That is how friendship is supposed to be! So don't be weirded out or instantly think more of it when a friend is nice to you and cares. They are actually supposed to! If they didn't then what kind of friend would they be?
"Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor." Romans 12:10
We are called to love each other with brotherly love. Not romantic love, brotherly love! So when your friends show that they care, they are actually following Christ's example and God's will for us. Try to keep that in mind when your friends of the opposite sex show caring and kindness towards you! It does not mean they are interested in dating you (at least most times), but it shows that they care about you as their brother or sister in Christ. :) They are your family and as your family, they love you! The second part of the verse says honor! We are to honor one another as well as care for them! So if you KNOW that someone is attracted to you in more than a friend way, then honor them and care about that by not leading them on and trying to be super close best friends who do everything together. That really does hurt them and is not at all loving or honoring. I'll be doing a post about honoring one another sometime in the near future. :) But for now, please think these things through and keep in mind that you are called to love others as your brothers and sisters through Christ.

God Bless,
Breanna

The Difference in The Voices

Hi guys, sorry its been a while. I've been going through it and really haven't felt I could honestly say anything that would be relevant or fit with anything that's been going on in my life. I am struggling so much right now to discern who's voice I am hearing and who's voice I want to listen to. In one ear I am hearing that God loves me, that He has a plan, that He will bring good out of this pain, and that He will hold me through this. In the other ear I am hearing that God has left me to face this alone, that I messed everything up, that I'm worthless, that I'm unloved. One side is truth, one side is lies. You can probably tell right away which is which, but when you're the person hearing them, its hard to discern what is what. So how can you tell when it is God prompting you forward and growing you, or if it's lies set out to trap you and break you off of the path God set you on?

Well some ways are to look at HOW the thought comes.
1. Does it reflect the character of God? If not, then what is it reflecting?
2. Does it help you or hinder you? God wants to help you to reach Him and help you in your life. He will hinder you from the extremely bad things, but in those cases you will more than likely know that it's wrong to begin with. :P
3. Does it still you or does it rustle you? God's voice is calming, it should still you.
4. Does it lead you or does it push you? Leading is good, God's voice should lead you, but it shouldn't push you. God isn't pushy.
5. Does it reassure you or does it frighten you? God's voice should reassure you, not frighten you.
6. Does it enlighten you or confuse you? God is not a God of confusion! He likes order and sense.
7. Does it encourage you or discourage you? God is encouraging in the good things, but should enlighten you to the bad.
8. Does it comfort you or does it worry you? worry is a sin! God wouldn't cause you to worry!
9. Does it calm you or does it obsess you? God likes calm too! Obsession isn't a good thing.
10. Does it convict you or does it condemn you? God's Spirit lives within you! He will convict you to the things that are bad or wrong for you. God does not condemn or guilt His children. Guilt isn't from God, guilt just condemns you and makes you feel shame and despair. Guilt wants you to wallow in your mistakes, while God wants you to receive forgiveness and love and be able to move forward. His Spirit convicts you to notice the mistakes and wrongs in your life and to make a change and move towards Him.

Remember, the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patients, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control! You should be able to recognize those traits in the thoughts that are good and from God. If your thoughts aren't good, and they are harming you, please have a Bible verse that you can turn to! One of the one's I have right now is Psalm 30:2 "Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me." He heard my cry for help and He healed me. He loves me. He wants the best for me. And He loves you and wants the best for you! Listen closely to Him, seek His words in the Bible and also in quiet time. Let Him speak to you and be careful  to listen to the Right voice.

God Bless,
Breanna

End of the Rope

So right now, I feel like I've reached the end of my rope. I'm falling to my knees in exhaustion, discouragement, and surrender. I can't handle any more. Everything that could possible go wrong has or is going wrong. The crazing amazing things that I know God brought into my life or blessed me with are being messed around with by the devil and keep turning around and hurting instead of encouraging me or moving me forward. I feel worn out trying to stay positive in all of this darkness. I really am at the end of my rope clinging to the ends while it frays in my hands. I know, it sounds terrible. But I wanted you guys to know that you're not alone in facing troubles. You're not alone in feeling down. So I want to take this time to encourage you and remind us both of God's promises to us as His beloved children.

Philippians 4:19 says "And my God will meet all of your needs according to His glorious riches in Jesus Christ." Notice that it says ALL of your needs. Not just some, not just parts, but ALL of them. God will meet you where you're at and fulfill all of your needs.

John 16:33 says "I have told you these things so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! For I have overcome the world!" Jesus even says that we will have trouble, but He also promises us that He has overcome the world. Christ is alive still, He overcame death to save us. He will help us through the craziness of life.

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord is the Rock eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4 God will keep us in perfect peace when we trust in Him. He is eternal, He is the Lord and He is our Rock through the times of trouble and hardship.

"God is our refuge and strength, our ever present help in times of trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way, and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging." Psalm 46:1-3 God is our refuge and strength, even in the times of trouble. As the things on earth go terribly wrong, and the whole world seems to be falling apart, God is our refuge and strength. He will protect us and strengthen us to endure the hardships we face.

Isaiah 41:10, "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." You starting to pick up on the theme here? God is our strength, He will help us, so why would we fear our be dismayed?

"Cast ALL your anxiety on him because he cares for you." 1st Peter 5:7 Cast all that anxiety, stress, worry, fear, all of it, onto God, because He cares for us. He knows our needs, He will provide, He will meet us where we are, He will strengthen us, He loves us.

So what do you do when you don't have the strength left to hang onto the rope? What do you do when your strength is failing? Well, you fall to your knees, you PRAY! You spend time in His word finding encouragement. You get back up. You hold onto that rope, and you KNOW that God will give you the strength to persevere and face the next day, the next hour, and the next minute. Because we know His promises and we KNOW He cares for us. Even when we are walking through the darkness, God is our light.
"Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path." Psalm 119:105

Even with all that's going on, all the hard things you face, all the challenges that get thrown at you, God is your refuge and your strength. Lean on Him and you can make it through anything.

He is my refuge, He is my strength, He is my rock, He is my help, He is my deliverer  He is my healer, He is my savior, He is my love, and He is my God. In HIM alone will I find what I need.

God bless,
Breanna

Trust Me- God

Right now there is so much going on in a lot of your lives. Some of you are facing divorce in your family. Death of a loved one. Depression. Disabilities. Sickness. Anger. Hurt. And so much more. I know some (not all) of those things I'm dealing with too and it's really hard. It's hard to be joyful and not let everything get me down. Its hard to not let things get to me. Its hard not to feel alone in my struggles. And sometimes its really hard to trust that God has a plan... but the cool thing is that He does. And that is what I'm going to talk about today. Trusting God even through all those insanely hard things that keep pulling you down.

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying "what shall we eat?" or "what shall we drink?" or "what shall we wear?"" Matthew 6:25-31

God tells us not to be anxious about the things going on in our lives, but to TRUST Him, because He will provide for all of our needs, just as He does for the birds, and the flowers. Why?

"For great is His steadfast love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever. Praise the Lord!" Psalm 117:2

Even during all those hard things, God's faithfulness will never leave. He will always be with us and always help us through. And when we are afraid we can be assured that He is with us.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:3-5

"So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?" " Hebrews 13:6

"Those who TRUST in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but abides forever." Psalm 125:1

While I can't tell you that those things will get any easier. That the burden will lift, or the pain ease, I can tell you that there is a God who asks you to trust Him and who will carry your burden for you.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28

Trust that God will hold you, even in your darkest days. He is always with you and loves you with a never ending, unconditional, supernatural, all encompassing love. And finally

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

May God bless you and may you feel Him holding you no matter what is going on in your life.

Breanna

ADD ON! Practical ways to apply this!

Whenever you are feeling down or having a hard time trusting God, have a verse that you can bring to mind and draw hope from.
Listen to worship music!
Praise God! I know its hard when everything feels so down, but He is still worthy of our praises. Look at David's example in Psalms. :)

Ladies first?

So today I'm going to cover a semi-controversial issue. Who should be pursuing who? Girls pursuing guys? Or guys pursuing girls? Which way is right? What's God's opinion on it? Does He have an opinion on it? You ready for this? Lets dig into it.

I've been reading a lot lately about dating, marriage, courtship, and being friends. (You can thank my parents for doing a talk on that, because it made me curious as to what people were saying about it and how all that they say really fits into my life). One of the common themes seems to be about pursuing and why it should be done a certain way even in just friends.

So now a days its extremely common for girls to go after guys they want. They become the pursuers instead of letting guys pursue them. More and more often girls are the ones to text/call a guy first, ask him to hang out, ask him out on dates, initiate anything physical, and they are even pressuring guys into doing stuff. This is so different than before when girls wouldn't even talk to a guy unless he approached her first. Not saying that that was completely good, but relationships seemed to be a bit different and have higher chances of lasting and being fulfilling when the guys approached the girls first. Why? Well... lets look at some reasons why guys should be initiating things with girls.

1. Man was created first. "For man was not made from woman, but woman from man. Neither was man created for woman, but woman for man." 1 Corinthians 11:8-9

2. Woman was created for man, because it was not good for man to be alone. (Gen 2) Again, emphasizing that man was created first.

3. Man was given the opportunity to find a help-mate, in other words he got to choose, but he couldn't find one suitable hence why woman was made. (Gen 2)

4. Men are the leaders of the family, but also the spiritual leaders of a home. "But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God." 1 Corinthians 11:3

Alright, so those are some Biblical reasons why guys should be initiating. Seems pretty logical hey? But here are some others that I have come up with.

1. It makes the guy risk it. If the guy risks it, he will be more likely to stick around or want to work through things because he wanted it enough to risk asking in the first place.

2. It shows that he believes the girl is worth the risk.

3. It is proven that relationships that are initiated by the guy are actually more satisfying because he had/has to work for her.

4. Guys like a challenge... girls like to be pursued. What better way?

5. Her parents will really appreciate the guy asking because it shows respect for her and for them. Especially if you ask their permission (or at least her dad's) first.

So is it bad for girls to be pursuing guys? I would say yes. I'd much rather have a guy who wants me and pursues me and be able to respond to that with a yes or no, than to constantly be pursuing a guy. Girls just aren't really made for pursuing they are made to be pursued. Girls can respond though. And I'm not trying to take away any rights... just put a new "old" idea out there. :)

For dating, this also means let the guy initiate things within the relationship. Let him contact the girl first. Let him ask for the dates. Its not bad to text the guy first occasionally, but the guy should be doing the majority of the initiating.

This doesn't just apply to dating though! This applies to friendships too! Guys, if you are friends with a girl, don't always expect her to contact you first. Girls, don't always be contacting the guy first. Let him be the man we know God made him to be and let him lead.

Side note for the guys: this does not mean you stop being a gentleman and being chivalrous! Girls should go first through doors, you should be holding it, you should be letting her go first in those ways. But for initiating things, that is your job! Go be the leader and lead her closer to God! And know there are girls out there praying for a man who will be a leader.

Girls: Be praying for the guys you know to grow into the strong leaders God can mold them into! The power of prayer is an amazing thing.


God bless,

Breanna

Important note for readers!

IMPORTANT NOTE! Please remember that if you're reading this blog, these are my thoughts and my perspectives. I'm not writing at anyone, I'm just sharing my own thoughts and hoping to put a different perspective out there or maybe back up your feelings/ideas. So please, don't feel like I'm preaching at anyone, or trying to force anyone to do anything. These are simply things I'm learning myself by reading, researching, and asking a bunch of questions. :) So know that I care about you guys/girls and in no way want to hurt you. Ok? Kay, good. Just double checking. :) If the subject applies to you... then awesome! That's so cool that God can use my words in your life. If not, then I hope you can take something new out of my opinions. :)

God bless,
Breanna